Therapy?

by BirdFood 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BirdFood

  I'm sorry for the delayed response; I was out of town for about a week and since have been busy catching up at work.

  Thank you all for your responses, it does help to talk with others that are in or have been in the same boat as me. I find that most people just don't understand unless they have been through it themselves. (for example, most have a hard time imagining being disowned by one's parents and think that I am having a temporary spat with mine that will just blow over with time) There was abuse in my situation, and that is something my therapist understands and can help me with for the most part. It's everything else that I think is hard for her to understand completely. It's not that she doesn't try, and she is very objective in a lot of ways. As far as the abuse goes, she can help with the emotional damage that has resulted from being in an abusive marriage (physical, emotional, etc) but there was more to it than just those things.

  But she seems to have a hard time understanding the scope of the religion and its affect on members and ex-members. She also doesn't completely grasp the magnitude of the situation I have with my parents. I can't really hold those things against her though, she has never been through anything like this herself, and hasn't to my knowledge ever even known someone with a situation even close to mine. I do see the value in going, if for no other reason than it gives me a safe place to let things out and talk through it all. I guess I just feel that there is a cap on how much that can help though, because it's not going to change the situation, and I don't think anything she says or suggests can actually change the situation for the better. The best I can hope for is changing how I feel about it. So for now I will keep going with the goal of improving myself.

  I'm sorry if I got a little too long-winded. I will check out the links more thoroughly this week. Thanks again for the input. :)

  BF
• 

  oompa

  find someone who at least KNOW or knew jws........i was lucky there.......she had employed one and then counseled many couples as she was mainly a marriage therapist.......

  and ya.......she gets it!.......that makes so much difference........you may find a jewish therapist that is very familiar with how there can be much stress in a jewish family when one marries a non-jew..........she has had one in therapy for five years!!.......she let my wife know that change of faith or loss of it is a MAJOR EVENT in ones life..........that i am not a nut.........good luck........oompa

  and i should still be going....i only went for a few months......she helped because she told my wife that i have a right to friends who are similar to me......as in no longer or never been dubs....and she let her know that it was a big deal losing ones faith....wife only went to two sessions.....i had told therapist that she would not be able to help my wife much as she would not be able to "find common ground" as she was not able to "move to center"........she is stuck where she is because they will not allow that.....
• 

  BirdFood

  Any suggestions for finding a therapist that knows jws? I feel like it's just trial and error and it takes a few visits (at least) just to explain my story before we can even begin to start sorting through it. Maybe I should write it all out and ask them to read it before my first appointment. LOL
• 

  oompa

  yes you should birdy sept no trial and error......too costly.......but a phone call will do......tell them you are exiting a cult or have lost total faith or sim....ask if they have exp in that.......oompa

  hope you live in a big city.....that will help

  if they have no clue about cults or jw........or the change of faith at least.........just move on.......they will be clueless!!!!
• 

  wha happened?

  I am very fortunate to have a therapist who has worked with many victims of very conservative or oppresive religions/cults. She has such great data and statistics. Some of it shocked me. The highest ratio of married men who go to prostitutes are Orthodox Jew. The highest incedence of alcoholism is in ex baptists who were raised "dry". She has so many mindf&%k stories of how the leaders oppressed their followers.