Being Brought Up As A Jehovah's Witness---Was It A "BAD" Upbringing?

minimus

I think that my upbringing made me the person that I am today---for good and bad. Even though I was raised a Witness, I don't think that my upbringing was bad.

Your thoughts, please.

Nazgul

Only if you needed a blood transfusion and the courts could not take parental rights away quick enough.

Caedes

Mine was, I've seen others who had it worse than me. I've seen some that it didn't cause any problems for.

I think the worst part is the stifling of inquisitiveness. Questioning is bad according to the JWs. What a way to bring up your kids?!

minimus

Were your core principles that you were taught necessarily wrong? Being taught not to lie, cheat, etc. is something that JWs believe and teach their kids (like other religions).

I have two complaints about being raised a witness: The first is the lack of education and preparation for the future. I was discouraged from going to college. Hell, I didn't even finish high school. I quit to pioneer. I wasn't given the opportunity to learn anything about religion other than from the publications of the WTS. I was taught that I would probably never be an adult in this system, let alone need to prepare for a career, family or retirement.

The second is the dating structure of the org. Starting with the strict policy of no fornication. If I had slept with my ex just once, we never would have married, I wouldn't have gone through a horrible marriage and divorce, and I wouldn't be facing bankruptcy now for his idiocy. If we were allowed to date outside of the religion I could easily have found a good man. There was nothing but the dregs at the bottom of the barrel for sisters like me within the org. And we're just expected to never be loved? To never be intimate with someone?

This isn't just a problem for adults because of the many teenage witnesses who marry and because of the stupid things children are taught about sex and marriage. At least half the witness girls I know wouldn't have sex with their husbands after marriage because sex had been so demonized for them. The other half end up making really stupid sexual choices because they're not allowed to be open and honest with their parents about their relationships and feelings.

bluecanary

I feel very stunted now, because I spent my entire youth and early twenties immersed in the org. I was taught to focus on The Truth tm to the exclusion of all else and now I'm left with nothing to fall back on. I have to figure out who I am from scratch.

chickpea

my 4 kids ALL despise their
association with the b0rg
and blessedly realize i had
no malice when i succumbed,
as long hanging fruit, when the
eldest now 24, was 4...
21 YO was 1, and
and the 18 and 16 YO
were born-ins

without question, i will regret the mistake
of believing the teachings of this heinous
cult for the rest of my life...

SuspiciousMinds

My parents raised me with good morals and principles, and for this I'm grateful. At least a part of that can be attributed to the org.

However, as an adult I still am quite bitter that I was raised in a very isolated environment. Of course there were no birthdays or any other celebrations and parties that children enjoy. But I was prohibited from having anything to do with my school friends after school or on weekends, and I mean absolutely NOTHING. This would have been not so bad if I was able to hang out with JW kids, but there were none that lived nearby, and the majority that lived in the next town were "bad association". As an adult, I am now very socially awkward and I have low self-esteem when it comes to meeting and interacting with other people. My wife and I have been spending more and more time with "worldly" people and it is helping, but I think it will take me years to become a well adjusted sociable adult.

minimus

SM, I too am grateful for the training and I also feel like I could've been "something" if college was encouraged. I have no self esteem issues.

saywhat29

Hmm. "Bad" I guess is too subjective. My complaints? Not being prepared for the future like other kids were. Not being able to go over my friend's house when they had birthday parties... feeling like crap for being queer...the pressure to become a witness without having the freedom to question things.

But then I think about all of my non-JW friends who supposedly had it all... some were encouraged to go to college and didn't, or did go and blew it partying... a lot of those birthday parties sucked because their parents were there and a whole lot of older relatives you didnt know so you couldn't be yourself around so the only thing you missed is eating cake and watching someone else get a ton of toys that you wanted to borrow.... and tons of queers who weren't brought up JW feel the same way I do. And tons of atheist come from a place where 'they didn't know how to question their beliefs at first and felt ashamed'...

So, overall as far as upbringing- no one molested me, I bathed (when I was reminded to), I rarely went hungry (which is why my a$$ need to go t the gym today), and no one kicked me out of the house or tried to kill me initially when they find out I liked dudes. So...

My upbringing was okay. It was fun and my only regret is not being confident to do more, JWism or no JWism included.

Being Brought Up As A Jehovah's Witness---Was It A "BAD" Upbringing?

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