The cult freaks want to stop by to "encourage" me

by JerkhovahsWitless 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • JerkhovahsWitless

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    I've been lurking on this board for a while, but now something's come up and I needed to make an account for advice. So, after months of being too lazy to register, I finally have an account to post with.

    My situation is I live at home with parents, although I'm way too old to be... But, that's a long story how I ended up back at home, so maybe I'll tell that one another time.

    Anyway, its probably been close to a year since I've been to a meeting, excluding the memorial and any assemblies. Well, I've had, let's call him... Brother Brain-Dead... I've had Brother Brain-Dead come by with someone else from the congregation a few times (usually either waking me up or coming when I'm getting ready for work) to waste my time in an attempt to encourage me to go back to meetings. The last couple of times he's been here I've successfully ignored him because no one else was home to answer the door and so I continued sleeping. Putting up with him, (especially when he brings the newly baptized Brother Over-Righteous) is extremely annoying, but now there's a new problem.

    While my dad was at the meeting, one of the biggest nut jobs in the congregation, who happens to be the PO, lets call him... Brother... no, let's just call him The Freak. (This guy is waaay out there. You can't have a normal conversation with him. Its always spiritual and how wonderful Jehovah and the truth is. The tone of his voice when he talks sounds rehearsed and phony, like his not his real voice, but he's trying to make it sound pleasant and happy. The best example I can give of why he's a freak would be when he gave the prayer at the memorial, at an auditorium full of people and throughout the whole dragged out prayer, he was crying because how touched he was that Jehovah sent his mini-me to earth to die so we can touch ourselves at night and be forgiven by Brother Knorr up in heaven).

    Sorry... what was I talking about? Oh yeah! So anyway, The Freak is going to come by with someone else, apparently randomly, because no one has asked me for a time that would be convenient or even if I want his [email protected]$$ over here. I want to avoid any kind of "encouragement" they're going to try to offer. So, my question is, what is the best way to handle this? I'm not going to start going back to meetings because he comes. I'm not going to agree to go back to meetings or service while he's talking to me. Its going to be near impossible to keep my trap shut and not tell him that he's a freak in a cult while laughing in his face, so I'd like to avoid even meeting with him.

    What can the elders do if they come by and I decline to meet because I'm busy when they pop by, or I decline to set up a time for them to come because there's no need for it, due to the fact that when (which is never) I start going back, will be when I make myself, not because two people came by to read scriptures at an attempt to guilt me and tell me things I've heard a million times before? I've done nothing to get DF'ed, well besides creating a few websites to resell porn subscriptions, but hey, they don't know about that. Is being inactive and resisting their efforts to suck me back into the cult grounds for them to take any kind of action against me? I'm trying to fade because, like a lot of us, I have mostly my entire family and friends in the cult. Also, a large part of my income, which comes from side-work I do, relies on JW business and their JW referrals.

    Any advice or similar experiences and your outcome will be greatly appreciated :)

  • sir82

    If they come by unannounced, tell them you have plans and can't meet with them now. Ask them to always call before coming over, since you have such a hectic schedule, and anyway, it's the polite thing to do. Then firmly close the door.

    When they call, thank them for their interest, and then tell them that you have a lot on your plate right now and will call them when you see the need. If they persist, just keep repeating the same thing until it seems to get through their thick skulls.

    Wash, rinse, repeat as needed.

  • Psychotic Parrot
    Psychotic Parrot

    "when he gave the prayer at the memorial, at an auditorium full of people and throughout the whole dragged out prayer, he was crying because how touched he was that Jehovah sent his mini-me to earth to die so we can touch ourselves at night and be forgiven by Brother Knorr up in heaven"


  • undercover


    If you were living out on your own, it would probably be easier to deal with drop-in visitors. But since you're 'living at home', your parents could invite them and pretty much put you on the spot to meet with them.

    Even still it's easier said than done. I've been inactive for awhile and still once in a blue moon, I get the odd drop-in from an elder. And it's usually someone I was on good terms with. It's hard to just say, "call ahead next time, dude" and close the door. I end up having to shoot the shit for awhile, but fortunately the visits rarely drift into, "please come back". I think that they think by just showing up and letting me know that they're thinking of me, I'll somehow feel bad about not being active. Whatever.

    Early on in my fading, I did have to ask an elder to leave when he made a sheparding call. He got pushy and obnoxious. It had the potential of blowing up to where they could try to haul me in for being troublesome, but they didn't. I think what happens with a lot of elders is that they're so used to pushing people around, they don't have clue what to do to someone who actually stands up to and refuses to be intimidated.

    And that's the key. The only authority that the elders have is what you allow them to have. If you don't want to meet with them, don't. If they want to "invite" you to a judicial committee meeting (not that they have grounds to at this point) refuse to go. In the end, since you've done no wrong, there's not much they can do to you.

    What you do need to keep in mind is how your parents will react to whatever course of action you take. Will your standing up and refusing to accept "counsel" and refuse to go back cause them to push you out before your ready? If you need more time, would it behoove you to play along for awhile, go to a meeting once in awhile, fake being a good little dubbie and then when you get back on your own two feet, you can drift away at your own speed.

  • wobble

    WELCOME JW Witless !

    You have my kind of sense of humor (or humour as we spell it in the U.K.we saved up and bought a U to put in )

    the advice above is good,basically it sounds as though you are unlucky enough to have some Elders who are not as lazy as the average lot.

    I got one visit,told them I believe everything (theocratic warfare) and they never called again, Bros. and Sis on field circus give me a wave but don't call at my home,they know I work at home so am always here,but no one calls,great eh?

    Just keep putting them off,it won't be long before they decide that trying to sucker in a new prospect is a better use of their time.

    please post some more of your story when you get time.

    love,and welcome again,


  • bluecanary

    No advice, just wanted to say that I like a poster with a sense of humor. I hope to hear more from you.

    Are you baptized?

  • Kudra

    Will your parents kick you out or cut off fund$ or otherwise make your life difficult if you tell them that you are over the JW religion?

  • daniel-p

    Hi Jerkovah! (nice name)

    What ever you do, DON'T let them in the door. Wear a huge smile and tell them you'll come talk to them when you're ready. Tell them "you've been a little depressed lately." Not many elders want to go through the trouble to "encourage" a depressed person--what a drag!!! ;)

  • Heaven

    JerkhovahsWitless... (love your username!), Welcome!

    Thanks for the laugh! Your prose is very funny... 'The Freak'... oh man! Good job I don't know the guy. I'd probably be giving him some zingers. (Another reason I would never make a good JW -- too much Irish in me). I like your humour (I use the 'u' as well as I'm Canadian and of UK decent). Sometimes that's the only thing that keeps us going.

    As for those 2 or more JWs who wish to drop in, be wary. Remember the 2 witness rule. I agree with sir82, undercover, and wobble. Just tell them you've been very busy. They may be lookin' to boot you out if you don't come back. So vagueness is the best course of action if you don't want your family shunning you.

    If they show up and your parents are home, just get ready and go out. On your way out the door be pleasant, wave and say 'Hi! I have to run but it was nice seeing you. Take care.' And just keep walking. Don't hesitate. Don't stop. Just keep on truckin'.

    Hope you can stick around and share some more of your story.

  • Psychotic Parrot
    Psychotic Parrot

    But guys! He might be an apostate!


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