You aren't in charge of anyone or anything, and when you realize it, you will set yourself free to really live.
Humans tend to categorize, label, and set up expectations. Cultivating a Zen attitude means simply living, experiencing, and being without categories, labels, or expectations.
"Tragedy" is only "tragedy" because we label it as "tragedy". Removing the label and simply experiencing the experience can help negative feelings pass and can turn a "tragedy" into a learning opportunity.
When humans experience catastrophic loss, it is more difficult to put things into perspective, but as with less serious losses, major loss is difficult because we attach our expectations and false sense of ownership, fears, and regrets to the things we have lost.
Letting go of the attachments to our feelings of pain, grief, and sorrow can help us move through any experience.