Welcome BA:
This is a place where u can feel better, Lots of good people here, I am also new here and i find that those i have chatted with are A ok. Your inner conscience is bothering you because that is how they the(organization)controls you and you fear that there will be major reprecutions from your choice to leave. I just ordered a book written by Franz, it sounds really helpful. Your biggest hurdle will be your family and your friends perhaps friends you've had for years. Yes it will be hard but don't despair it will get better as time goes by and a big burden will be lifted from your mind. And don't think there won't be ones who envy your choice, because there are alot of unhappy JWs who feel trapped and they are
afraid to make a break away. I know this to be so as my family doc. told me that the JWs patients he has are happy i made the break away and they say they don't have the courage to do it, but would like to.
I was a third generation witness and i pioneered served where the need was greater. I was active in all areas of the truth, and i was married to a man who was a hypocrite and one day i couldn't take it anymore, so I got help from doctors lawyers and social workers who were the most wonderul people I have ever met and they truly cared for my well being. The marriage I was in lasted 27 years and I was divorced a yr later.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is truly genuine in every aspect of life. Yes I lost my family, and friends i had for over 35 years. Yes my decsion to leave anguished me for a long time and as i said, it will get better with the passage of time. Enjoy your new free will and live life to the fullest without worry that when you do something no one can say anything to you and look over your shoulders and tell on you. I guarantee you will be a happier person. And let me at this time wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!Enjoy it and be free.
orangefatcat
Terry