This is the worst possibility: If you disassociate, the mother will likely not let you stay with her. Worse yet, she will probably make you go to the boasting sessions and out in field circus, plus live by witless rules, as a condition of staying. They have even been programmed to throw out former witless children that are disabled and obviously in no condition to take care of themselves.
A little advice needed on disassociating myself
by MisfitMeL 46 Replies latest jw experiences
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winstonchurchill
1) Don't DA. Manys cons, almost no pros.
2) Don't plan based on "she'll understand". Self afliction is a big thing for JW. Remember: suffering is a sign that you are worth of being tested by god. They like suffering and crying and 'enduring penalties'. So by DA or announcing you no longer wish to be a JW, what will probably happen is she (with help from the ever present zealots) will turn it into 'suffering', being tested and a great oportunity to show how loyal to god she is.
3) Your publisher card: don't let it follow you. Once those in possesion of the card can't reach you, you are out for almost all practical purposes. Let it stay were it is!
4) Fade. Fade. Fade. As per #2 she'll find solace in enduring your being 'inactive', and will cry over it, but she'll hope you'll "come back to your senses". But ties won't be severed.
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MisfitMeL
Arrrrggghhh I just typed up a reply and it disappeared as soon as I clicked Submit
Hokay nevermind..
Chris : Thank you for the hugs and the PM! If you hadn't mentioned it, I would have been completely oblivious to it It's not very obvious when there's new message in the Inbox.
Rebel : What if they insist on knowing Why I don't want to go for the meetings? I will do my best to dodge the elders and my mum in answering their questions. Would saying that I don't want to go to the meetings imply that I do not wish to associate with the JWs anymore and hence a sort of admission? Sorry just thinking of possibilities....
Scarred for life : I have a little money saved and I think my dad will be willing to support me financially until I get a job, so it's not TOO bad. I don't plan on hanging around at mum's house for too long... will probably move to another city and maybe friends there will let me stay with them or find a place to flatshare etc. Still there will be 3-4 weeks when I will be with mum and a lot can happen in that time period!!!
Thank you very much for your kind words, thoughts and well wishes. It certainly means a lot to know there are others out there who have faced similar situations and are willing to share their experiences and wisdom!
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MisfitMeL
Thanks WTWizard and winstonchurchill!
DA certainly sounds like JW character suicide... I think I will do my best to stay well away from it. I just hope I don't get pulled up in front of a JC.
Self affliction is a big thing for JW
That is SO true! I still remember the way my mum would rant with the other sisters and they all nod their heads and agree that Satan is tempting us and Jehovah is trying our faith, even tho many times they only have themselves to blame
TBH I don't even know which congregation has my publisher card I've been spread out over three locations in the past few years - Kuwait, India and Edinburgh, though I think it is most likely for my card to be in Kuwait or if the Kuwait congregation passed it on to the Edinburgh one when I moved here, I wasn't made aware of it!
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rebel8
What if they insist on knowing Why I don't want to go for the meetings?
Broken record technique--keep repeating it. Takes some balls but you can do it!
@ some point you can alternate:
"Because I don't want to."
"I couldn't imagine discussing that with you. I don't want to discuss it."
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rebel8
Here is one of my posts from a different thread:
You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are participating or not participating in any religious practice at all.
It is against social etiquette to ask people probing questions about private matters like that.
jws ignore this and keep doing what's rude. Keep your meter set to "normal" and let them be the abberation, without you taking the bait.
"Why haven't you been to meetings?"
"Oh thanks for your concern. Did you hear about that car crash the other day?"
"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"
"Oh thanks for your concern. Have you been to that new restaurant around the corner?"
"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"
"Oh thanks for your concern. Private matters. Have you been to that new restaurant around the corner? I hear they make a great Eggplant Parmesan, and homemade cannoli."
"Yeah but why haven't you been to meetings?"
"Oh thanks for your concern. Some matters are private and I wouldn't even dream of discussing them with you. Have you ever tried to make Eggplant Parmesan? I just love it at this time of year when the tomatoes are fresh."
(broken record technique)
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MisfitMeL
Thanks rebel! Broken record technique sounds good... but my mum is a tough one I'll definitely do it though!