@@@ Redneck guide to camping @@@

by FlyingHighNow 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow

    I wondered why all my co workers were always telling me how good I am at selling this product or that. Now I know.

  • JeffT

    A southern salesman joke.

    Guy goes into Wally world and tells the manager he's the best sales man in the world. The manager says he'll give him that one day to prove it. At the end of the day the manager asks him how much stuff he sold.


    Wow, how many customers?


    How did you sell 100 grand of stuff to one person?

    "Well he needed a fish hook, and I pointed out he'd need some line, and after that he'd need a pole, and then he'd need a reel, and by the way do you have a boat? After he's got the boat he needs a motor, and then he'll need a trailer to carry it. Do you have a truck to pull the trailer?

    Wow, the manager says, you sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?

    "Nah, he came in looking for a box of tampax for his wife and I told he should go fishing since his weekend was already shot."

  • FlyingHighNow

    That's how I make my sales. Think about what will appeal to the customer. And in the southern salesman joke, that's exactly what he did.

    Yesterday an employee and a customer had to wait for my samples to finish cooking. I said, "I'm so sorry ya'll have to wait, fellas. But hey, you get to listen to me, and I'm charming. I'm a southern belle and you guys gotta watch out for us charmin' southern belles. They both cracked these big, smitten grins. I don't do that often, but I had to think fast to keep the customer there until my demo was ready.

  • BurnTheShips

    That was fantastic.


  • FlyingHighNow

    The South Carolina Manhood Network presents:


  • FlyingHighNow

    Dang, we could have used this advice a couple of weeks ago. But 'cept my diddy's daid.


  • caliber

    the south (USA) have their own language and expression

    Here are some with the "translations beside them !

    • His car is busted- Won't run
    • He piddles-Wastes time
    • I may can- I might be able
    • Rich as possum gravy- Has money
    • He can crack hickory nuts between his toes- A tough character
    • Shell the corn down-Tell the truth
    • Frog strangler-Big rain storm
    • I'll kick yo butt t'il yo nose bleeds-Threat
    • Funny as a funeral-Not funny
    • If they were selling stuff fer almost free,
    • all I could do would be to run down the road ahollern'
    • "Ain't that cheap!" -I'm broke
    • He sure can bust 'em cabbages- Big eater
    • Scooter Pootin' around- Going nowhere
    • Hasn't had a bath since he was baptized- Nasty
    • Broke as a haint(ghost))
    • They split the blanket- Got divorced
    • Throwed off on- Made fun of
    • A Lively Old Lady (Dixie Belle )

      A doctor made a house call on an elderly lady.
      She was sprightly and healthy, and he remarked on her good condition.
      "Have you ever been bedridden?" he ask.
      "Oh my, yes", she said.
      "Several times, and twice in a buggy."http://www.geocities.com/franklinsalem/humor.html

  • caliber

    Southerners are great with direction giving and timing !

    Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder

    Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

    Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20

  • Hope4Others

    Those guys were really out there, funny...I imagine they have a little series going...


  • FlyingHighNow

    In Sylacauga, AL there is a flower/produce/nursery called Yonder's Blossum.

    I'm fixin' to hurry up and git my pajamas on and sleep a spell. Are ya'll fixin' to hit the hay? Tomorrow I'm gonna be goin' ta town ta git that idigit's name off my bill.

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