Could I get some advice, please?

by vikesgirl101 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • BabaYaga

    I agree with what has been said... you have custody! With him not paying the child support he owes? He has NO SAY!

    Tell him to put his money where his big, flapping, holier-than-thou mouth is.

    Oh, and, WELCOME, by the way!

  • jamiebowers

    If you have full custody of the children, he has no say in their upbringing whether or not he pays child support. Abusers are bullies, and they will use anything to manipulate their victims. I left the "truth" under very similar circumstances. Please check your pm's.

  • vikesgirl101

    Busted! I am a Minnesotan. Thank goodness though. It appears the law is on my side.

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    He's trying to intimidate you, plain and simple. He has no legal ground to stand on. As others have pointed out, you have custody and the law on your side, use it, especially where child support is concerned.

    Oh, and GO PACK!

  • The Berean
    The Berean

    Oh how I wish there was a way to use your difficult situation as a teaching tool for those contemplating marriage. People (and their families) give precursors of future conduct that are too often ignored by young ones caught up in their hopes, dreams, and desire. May you find peace.

  • dinah
    Abusers are bullies, and they will use anything to manipulate their victims.

    That sums it up. He's using the girls to maintain control over you. I went through the same thing with my ex. If he were really concerned about his daughters he'd help them out financially. If he owes that much child support, you really should get him in front of a judge. That would shut his ass up. It would also give your the opportunity to tell the judge about all his rules and demands. Most judges would see him for what he is.

    Tough situation to be in, I know.

    Welcome to the board.

  • digderidoo

    I would imagine that your state would have something similar to UK law on this.

    In this country one partner cannot insist on how the ex brings up the child, so long as it isn't interpretated by a court as abusive.

    This also applies to visitation, With reference to religion for instance, one parent cannot insist that the other doesn't take them to a certain church/ religion. For instance if i was a jew and my ex a catholic, she cannot tell me i can't take my kids to the synagogue on a Saturday, if i have them on a Saturday.

    Your daughter taking part in a 4th July parade is not up to him, if she is in your care at the time. You can quite easily demonstrate that this is his religious requirement.

    What you really have to look at though is whether you're worried he's going to report you to the elders. If you have broken away from the religion, then you need to take a stance on this and stand your own two feet as you're no longer required to be told what to do by anybody.


  • vikesgirl101

    I think I am to the point of I could care less what the elders think. I have shut the door in the face, I have told them "Thank you for calling me a whore", I have avoided all contact with them. I really would rather they would just DF me.

    digderidoo : You bring up a good point about religion. If he chooses to bring the kids to another church, that would be none of my concern, unless it hurt the children in some way. For me, I have something that kids really want to do, and he is taking it away from them.

    And hopefully you are all right; The court systmes will see him for who he is.

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