I need a good excuse

by rockmehardplace 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • rockmehardplace
    rockmehardplace

    thanks everyone. I think I may go the stress/chronic fatigue syndrome.

    Sorry keyser, but I think I will pass on the sex change.

    Tuesday, the explosive diarrrhea may just be an option for why i cant work in service any longer.

    rock: Sorry brothers, i can't go out.

    BOE: why? what is the problem?

    rock: explosive diarrhea.

    BOE: we could work near places with bathrooms

    rock: comes on too fast, wont make it

    BOE: what about diapers?

    rock: tried that, blew them apart it was so bad

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for me was...sleeping alot, staying home watching movies, too tired to get stressed at all, drinking some booze to help you sleep...Ive had it for 10 years now it's awesome mate!

  • Tuesday
    Tuesday
    Tuesday, the explosive diarrrhea may just be an option for why i cant work in service any longer.
    rock: Sorry brothers, i can't go out.
    BOE: why? what is the problem?
    rock: explosive diarrhea.
    BOE: we could work near places with bathrooms
    rock: comes on too fast, wont make it
    BOE: what about diapers?
    rock: tried that, blew them apart it was so bad

    The conversation wouldn't even go that long it would be:

    Rock: Sorry brothers I can't go out in service anymore.
    BOE: Why?
    Rock: Chronic Explosive Diarrhea
    BOE: Sorry to hear that brother.

    Though if they did ask "What about diapers?" you reply should be "Do you want to sit in a car with someone with a full diaper next to you?" That'll shake 'em off.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Another thing, which probably won't surprise you...

    When you do step down (for whatever reason), you will be looked upon differently. You'll no longer be the Golden Boy.

    Knowing this advance, can help to lesson the impact of it.

    -LWT

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Depression/anxiety is popular and easy for them to put on the paperwork.

    Otherwise, you might confess to a problem with oral sex, phone sex, internet porn, or overdrinking.

    B the X

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    I do not know what role you have played, but it may be necessary to miss one or two assignments so they get used to you being unreliable - I found that they tried really hard to persuade me to stay on. They do not like losing a good man .

    I did say that I had "issues " and problems with my faith but they didn't seem to mind me still taking the Watchtower Study!

    I think what finally did it was when I "Confessed" to the C/O that I had a taste for "What you would call Heavy Metal music" ...His face turned pale and he left soon after that and he then told the elders to delete me, whatever they had said before

  • besty
    besty

    wear a light colored suit and wet yourself during your next item from the platform <removes tongue from cheek>

    tell the CoBoE you are suffering from stress and are temporarily stepping down on medical advice - he may try and keep you on but with no responsibilities - you need to be prepared for that eventuality.

  • Tuesday
    Tuesday

    The Heavy Metal comment makes me laugh...

    What if you showed up at the next congregation picnic wearing a Marilyn Manson T-Shirt?

    That should do it.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Hand out literature for the local community college, before the meetings.

  • Brocephus
    Brocephus

    Tell them you don't understand why Jehovah would not smite Michael Jackson for being a molestor but allow Prince to become a JW with all his history of sinfulness he brings to the organization.

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