I need a good excuse

by rockmehardplace 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • rockmehardplace

    I am thinking of stepping down from my position in the congregation. This is the first big step to my fade from the JW world. I talked to my wife about it and she told me that she thought it was best I did because there is no reason to do something if your heart is not wanting to do that. She has encouraged me to make a choice of staying in or getting out but she said she does not want me to DA or DF. She thinks if I am going to stop going, just fade away so that I can still have contact with family and friends and it would be easier for her from a family standpoint. I agree that for now, a fade is best. So I am ready to start. I have to take the first step though. I have tried to come up with a valid reason that will not draw too much attention though. I have had increased work through my job, but that fluctuates and the brothers know that. So, I don't think I can use that. I thought about health, but then they inquire too much on that. I thought about saying I am ill spiritually, but that too will cause high levels of inquiries. So, any excuses anyone else used that kept people and questions to a minimum? And yes, the truth would be best but that is not going to happen.

    I could hear it now-

    rock: I am stepping down brother COBE.

    COBE: Why would you want to do that?

    rock: because I have issues with the blood transfusion.

    COBE: what issues?

    rock: how do you justify taking from a pool of blood banked by worldly people but you wont give?

    COBE: blood is sacred, we don't donate blood.

    rock: if it is sacred, and you won't give, how can you use the supply of sacred blood?

    COBE: we use fractions.

    rock: which come from donated blood

    COBE: Yes, but many people use blood that do not donate

    rock: true, but if many people stole a dollar from their boss, just because they do it doesn't make it right.

    COBE: you are missing the point

    rock: and the point is?

    COBE: Jehovah said blood is sacred.

    rock: then why are you using it?

    COBE: we are not using it, we use fractions

    rock: which come from donated blood, right?

    Well, this is just one of the many topics I could choose from, this one just sets ill with me particularly bad today for personal reasons.

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    Just an idea that worked for someone else - get up repeatedly throughout a meeting; stand at the back of the hall, explain that your back can't take long periods of sitting...eventually leave halfway through the meetings due to the 'bad back', eventually miss more and more meetings due to the 'back problem'; then explain that the back problem means you must 'reluctantly' step down....just an idea...

  • Tuesday

    Explosive Diarrhea

    I use that excuse for everything. No one ever questions it all I ever get is "You take as much time as you need."

  • StAnn

    Seriously, I know of someone who had to "temporarily" step down because of stress/depression. His doctor told him that he absolutely, positively had to give up any responsibilities in his life that caused him stress and that he positively had to rest more. He had run himself ragged. So, he still had to work a lot of hours to support his family, but he stepped down from being an elder and cut back on FS hours. After awhile, no one ever approached him about the "temporarily" aspect of it he remained a "pew sitter."


    St. Ann

  • leavingwt

    The reality of your situation will very much so be affected by the local elders. Much of it is out of your control.

    I hope it all works out well for you.

    Some have pulled it off, others have not.

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze

    Two word: sex change.

  • Quirky1

    When I stepped down I just told them that I had problems at home that nneded to be delt with and needed to step down to get a grip of things......

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro


    I used a combination of need to take care of my family and burnout. I really stressed the scriptural obligation to look after my family first and they didn't argue with me too much. They froze my resignation for about 2 weeks and asked me to reconsider. They finally sent it in but the COBOE was sure that the branch wouldn't accept it. 3 weeks later, a form letter came back confirming my no longer "serving".

    It doesn't sound like you have kids and if your wife's health is fine, then you probably can't go with the family route. You can always use depression. You can say that in your current, depressed state, that you feel that you can not be encouraging to the brothers and thus your conscience won't allow you to continue serving in your present capacity.

    You could also say that you are burned out and that you really need a break from the weighty responsibility of being an elder.

    Obviously, getting into doctrinal issues, saying that you no longer wish to enforce WTS rules, etc isn't a viable option unless you plan on fireworks.

    If I remember correctly, you really didn't need to get super specific as to why you want to step aside. Of course, if you are reappointed, then you have to get specific as to why you wanted out in the first place.

    PM me if you'd like. I can send you what I sent in.

  • yknot

    Unknown circumstances

    COBOE: Why are you stepping down Bro. Rock

    Rock: There are personal matters that I must attend.

    COBOE: Like what?

    Rock: I am not at liberty to breach confidence in the matter.

    COBOE: Oh come on Bro Rock, that is so cryptic

    Rock: I am sorry but I simply cannot and will not be discussing the matter beyond the immediate need. When I am able to return my full attention I will give you a call about considering my reappointment.

    I mean come-on don't tell me yall (men) save all that firm tight-lipped stuff for us gals!

    To throw off his scent I would not start fading physically until two months have past.

    .... but of course your wife must be on board with the no comment thing for it to work....

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    1. Fake Chronic fatigue syndrome...worked for me.....or tell them you think Satan could be an alien who is infultrating Bethel thru the illuminati....."Ah yeah, look you take afew months off Brother..."

Share this