by badboy 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • badboy


  • yadda yadda 2
    yadda yadda 2

    What's a showon?

  • asilentone

    showdown, badboy needs to correct his spelling.

  • besty

    OK try this for size - maybe not quite a showown, showon or showdown but its kinda funny

    Setting: London Penge Kingdom Hall, Tuesday Night, Service Meeting Announcements being handled by Elder Weird (taxi driver), who was also in charge of the attendants, ventilation and heating etc - I mean this guy had some serious stuff to take care of in his life.

    At the 'end' of the announcements one of the other elders stands up at the front and blows a whistle - I'm not making this up - and Elder Weird says:

    "OK brothers - time for our Annual Fire Drill - Please make your way out of the hall via the emergency exit!"

    Now to help you understand the emergency exit takes you out of the KH into an unlit side alley and all the way around the outside of the building through a narrow paved area to the front. Bearing in mind there was probably 100+ people including 2 older sisters in wheelchairs, this was not a trivial exercise to get all out and in again. So to help with logistics Elder Weird had enlisted the whistle-blower and several MS's and attendants to make sure all was smooth. One brother was assigned just to time the exercise with a stopwatch for comparative purposes.

    The only thing Elder Weird had forgotten in his carefully planned field exercise? - yep - you guessed - the PO wasn't in the loop.

    And the PO was pretty assertive, having some of his own issues to deal with - mixed race in a racially divided hall. All breath was bated as the PO took to his feet from the audience. A few eager exitees stopped in their tracks.

    "This item is now terminated" he shouted from the floor, as he made his way to the platform.

    The Whistle-Blower and the Stopwatch Coordinator put away their equipment and the few that had stood up shuffled back to their seats.

    I think the PO took a few service experiences and called the next brother - we didn't have the Annual Fire Drill that year.

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    Besty, that is so funny. Thanks for the reminder. In Penge, there was never a dull moment.

    I almost miss it.........

  • besty

    edited to add:

    The Stopwatch Coordinator was mid-50s and had been a Pioneer all his days, served as an Elder and on the HLC. Wifey was also a somewhat precious Pioneer and of course they were childless. He also gave Sweet Peas and I's wedding talk as an old family friend and licensed wedding person. Nice guy trapped in a JW body. At the time of Coordinating the Stopwatch he was on his way back up the greasy ladder to success having been removed as an Elder at the instruction of the ever righteous CO Keith Gaydon. <prick> Reason for removal - get this - eating with a DF person. Not that simple though. The DF person was a former elder from another cong on the reinstatement merry-go-round. Said DF person wished to attend the CA, and our Stopwatch Coordinator as a responsible mature Elder was assigned to 'take care of him' for the day - ie ensure nobody spoke to him. So at lunchtime the audience file out the hall to go eat. DF person pulls out a sandwich and starts to eat it on his own in an empty hall that seats 1500 people. Well empty apart from the Stopwatch Coordinator who is faithfully not leaving his watchman post. The CO wanders by and sees the two of them. Net result - HLC Elder Pioneer removed for eating with DF person. Probably wouldn;t back down to CO prick and acknowledge the sin. Some time after he was removed as an Elder I had the opportunity to ask him the scriptural basis for the blood-fraction policy - if he had been able to reassure me on that you might not be reading this right now - needless to say you are reading this right now as there is no scriptural basis for the blood fraction policy.

    The PO - lets call him Jo-el Davis - was one of two Elders that came round to see Sweet Pea and I one night to 'encourage me to do more'. I said I had some issues with things and didn't see myself ever getting involved with a religious hierarchy. One of my issues was the lack of scriptural support for the blood fraction policy. The other was the abysmal treatment suffered by my Dad at the hands of his BOE over many years. This was July 2004 around 3 years before we were finally DF. The 2 Elders concurred that because of my issues there may be a lack of Holy Spirit on the house and therefore not suitable for the CBS, which we had just agreed to host. But they were going to go and check if this was so and get back to us. <unclear on test for existence of holy spirit at a particular address - any ideas?> Cue Sweet Pea true believer at this time to hit the waterworks and me to show the Elders the door. Needles to say they never got back to us and we got a sympathetic card from the sister who's house we were going to relieve from CBS duty saying she was thinking of us 'at this difficult time'. So the two-faced Elders hadn't the balls to come back and tell us that they weren't going to allow the CBS in our home, but had given the other sister enough materiel to elicit a 'sympathy' card. This 'encouraging' visit would prove helpful in my later plans to pry Sweet Pea from the Borg.

    In a twist of irony about 6 months later Jo-el Davis was removed as an Elder AND <slap> the CBS taken out of his home. Humility is a dish best served sooner if possible. Reason - 'shepherding' a sister on his own.

    Fast Forward >> 3 years and Jo-el Davis is back on as an Elder and Chairman of my JC, despite the replacement PO (MTS man-child) also being on the JC, and the Whistle Blower also an angry presence on said JC. But thats another story....

  • besty


  • shopaholic

    The firedrill was hilarious...

    This is kindof a showdown...during a CO visit, the CO wanted to talk to me about doing a part on the assembly. He asked that I stick around after the Sunday meeting until he finished the final meeting with elders. Well, the Sunday meeting had ended, the elders and CO are in the back elders room and I'm in the main hall chatting with a couple of folks that I had plans to go out to dinner with.

    We were cracking jokes and reminding each other to be civilized in the hall because they might be able to hear us in the elders room. Then all of a sudden you hear VERY loud profanity coming out of the elders room. We all looked at each other and wondered what was going on. The CO stepped out of the room and asked if we could wait outside the hall and said that he should be done in about 20 min.

    Anyway, about 5 mins later an MS comes walking out of the hall in a huff. We were all like 'where did he come from?'. It turns out the MS was in the meeting and wanted an explanation as to why he had not been appointed to elder. When he was told he was not ready and what he was lacking he laid into the elders and the CO. I wasn't surprised, the MS is very knowledgeable and did a lot with congo and many thought he should be an elder but he DEFINITELY had issues.

    Later when the CO finished with the other elders and come outside...he immediately asked us to tell him everything we knew about the MS and his family.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    LOL, that was very entertaining Besty.

  • badboy


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