I have been out for 5 years. My wife and I left together. She saw the sham long before I did - though neither of us could 'put our finger on' what was wrong until we read CoC, found the internet, etc.
I believe my wife leans toward atheism more than I do - I consider myself agnostic of the whole matter at this point. We don't discuss religion at all in our homelife now - unless it is bashing of Jwism from time to time.
But why can't we ever 'let go' 100%? There are good and fine people on this board who have been 'out' far longer than we have been. They too, seemed trapped in the Jw enigma, unable to fully let go of the experience. Of course, I know that lifetime experience is hard to let go - that may be the entire explanation. I know of a veteran of the Vietnam war who cannot have a conversation without bringing up his experience, and he wasn't even in a combat zone. So, it is certainly not just former cult members who struggle with living in the moment.
Well - just rambling as usual at 0300 before I head out the door to work.
Comments? Does this cloud that hangs over us, bother you too at times as it does me?