How To Be Dead When You're Not

by Hopscotch 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hopscotch

    Here's how I did it.

    Step 1: Get dragged into JWs by your parents when you are 5 years old

    Step 2: Get baptized in 1975 when you are 16 because Armageddon is coming and you don't want to die

    Step 3: Continue being brainwashed and mind controlled for the next 30 years because you don't want to die at Armageddon

    Step 4: Come to the realisation that what JWs are teaching is based on lies

    Step 5: Start fading from JWs

    Step 6: When confronted by your family as to the reasons why you are no longer attending meetings, tell them of your concerns re the WTS

    Step 7: When given an ultimatum by your family to go back to JWs or be shunned, tell them you are not going back

    Step 6: Be branded an apostate by your family

    Step 7: Be told that as far as your family is concerned you are DEAD

    So that's how I got to be dead when I'm not.


  • GoddessRachel

    Been there, didn't even get a teeshirt.

    Family is more than DNA, Hopscotch. Our families are sh*tty.

  • GoddessRachel

    Been there, didn't even get a teeshirt.

    Family is more than DNA, Hopscotch. Our JW "families" do sh*tty things in the name of "Jehovah." Yeah, like Jehovah and Jesus - if they are up there - would really want people treating each other like CRAP over stupid technicalities. Ludicrous.

  • GoddessRachel

    whoops I tried to edit out the first one because my real family isn't sh*tty, and I thought it would be more appropriate to call out their actions instead of labeling them. Well, anyway, still haven't figured out how to edit posts so there you go.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Yep. Substitute 4 years old and 1973 in the bio, and I could have written that. In my case not many family are still alive/in. The Jw's were my family though. Still, after a lifetime investment of time/energy/love , you would think someone could at least say 'Hi' at the mall.

    The proof is in the pudding, we used to say. That pudding is spoiled and stinks.


  • Heaven

    GoddessRachel... to edit your post, click the pencil over the conversation balloon that appears at the right-hand side of the date on the subject line of your post.

    Hopscotch ... you look awesome for being a DEAD person! Keep up the good work.

    But seriously, I am sorry that your family considers you dead. I do understand the feeling. I think, though, that you can now do what you needed to do back in the '70s. Time to start planning your life. Many good books out there (I like "7 Habits" and "First Things First" by Stephen Covey to start), and of course, there are counsellors who can help. This Forum has great suggestions too. Try to get involved in an activity or organization that appeals to you. Perhaps volunteer some of your time to those less fortunate. Begin to make new friends to replace the people who have decided to exclude you.

  • Hopscotch

    Goddess Rachel - I heard someone say recently that family is only a word unless there is love in it. What JWs do to their family members that leave the religion (cult) shows how much JWs have allowed the WTS to warp their understanding of love. Everything in JW world is conditional - love, friendhsip and even being part of a family. So now we are out, we can build a family of friends around us that love us unconditionally for who we really are.

    AK-Jeff - You are so right - the pudding is spoiled alright.

    Heaven - Thanks for kind words. Slowly my husband, son and I are building a new life for ourselves out of JWs. I have actually read Stephen Covey (he was excellent) about 12 months ago when we really decided that we were not going to go back to JWs (BTW we only told my family and got the ultimatum in January this year). I have been reading and reading all sorts of different books on self development, various ones of other philosophies etc, gone to some workshops and have started to make some beautiful new friends. I am becoming very much alive.

    So there really is 'life after death'! LOL.

    As they say, living well is the best revenge, so I guess that what all us 'living dead' can do now to show the WTS and our families who discarded us like a piece of trash, that we can do very well without them.


  • GoddessRachel

    Thanks for the info, Heaven!

    Hopscotch, you are right! The best revenge is to live your life!

  • BabaYaga

    Aw, Honey, I am so very sorry.

    We did know, did we not, the risks we were taking when we left, and decided it would be worth it. I know for myself, it certainly has been. I am not one who can live and support a lie.

    Strength to you, love. Nobody said having cult members for loved ones was going to be easy.


  • Hopscotch

    BabaYaga thank you so much for your lovely words of kindness. As you say we did know the risks involved when we decided we wanted out, but it still hurts. But I imagine in some ways it would hurt much more to be living the JW lie, silencing our inner voice and pretending we are happy, just to stay in a family that has been brainwashed by a cult to be so conditional with their love. The resentment and bitterness would eat away at us and destroy us. It is still better to be out and be free.


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