I think I understand... I am being shunned...

by Almost_Did_It 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gregor

    If you think this was harsh you should have gone ahead and got baptized and seen what happens after you have 'signed up'. Kind of like making a deep friendship with the local Army recruiter.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I don't see what difference it makes whether the friendship was formed before beginning to study or after it started. No difference.

  • keeshondgirl

    I remember the people in my hall would drop a study if it went on too long. Once finished studying a book or two then they would say it's time to go to the meetings because thats where you learn like the rest of us. 99.9% of the time that person wouldn't go to the meetings and the witness whom they thought was their friend would never speak to them again or only to invite him to a special occasion. then the person who studied with them would blab in the car groups about that person and everyone would know the wrongs that person did. the truth is, which most non-witnesses dont' know, is a witness does not consider any non witness a friend. they think of them as a potential new witness. if the person decides to quite studying or not to attend meetings, then that means that the person is choosing to not be a sheep and was basically a waste of your time, so never get too attached to a person. when a person gets baptized, then an even stronger judging goes on. they will judge you on how many things you have, how many meetings you miss, how often are you out in field service, who are your friends, how often do you give comments, and the list goes on. You need to climb the ladder to get to a higher position in order to be considered a good associate. the attitudes are the complete opposite of how Jesus was when he was here. IT's so easy to start thinking like that, for you know the scripture we were always told about.....bad association spoils useful habit, well, the witnesses were very bad association and I was starting to become like them, I wasn't raised a jw so never had a biased attitude towards others, but once I was around them I started to act and think like that. luckily, I did a reality check and feel I can no longer be around that mentality!!!

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    shut up Renaii. A person who was abandoned by the person who studied with him is not bitter. Clearly the JW studying with him is.

  • mraimondi

    i personally have continued friendships with people with whom ive studied (and later they discontinued). Not as close as other witnesses back in the day, but i have.

    although i know for sure this isnt the case with 95 percent of witnesses out there.

  • Almost_Did_It

    Let me straighten things out a bit... In a previous thread, I mentioned that we were friends and co-workers for about 2 years before the study started... now that it's over clearly, so am I (as a friend, that is). PPL told me that this could happen years ago, but it defied logic in my mind. How can someone that you become close personal friends with behave in such a controlled, robotic way? It makes it seem as though JWs are void of emotion; else, how could they disassociate themselves so readily without signs of visible remorse. I have tried to contact this individual see what's up but have not been successful... I feel at this point that he has clearly made his feelings know and his choice of no longer being my friend by his actions... I don't understand it... it defies logic... it is totally non-Christian... it just makes no sense to any educated person...

    Now, it is time for me to forget this and move on... Thank you for letting me spout... (If I ever see him again, I will smack the crap out of him...)

  • ex-nj-jw
    Now, it is time for me to forget this and move on... Thank you for letting me spout... (If I ever see him again, I will smack the crap out of him...)

    Now that's funny! Move on is the best thing and be thankfull to whomever/whatever that you didn't get dunked.


  • JWdaughter

    almostdidit, you got off easy:) Ok, it hurts to lose a 'friend', but the thing is, you now see it was a matter of convenience for him. You did not appear to be a real prospect(since you didn't go to meetings, etc) and now that he doesn't have to see you everyday, out of sight, out of mind.

    In fairness though, the phone works both ways. Have you tried to call him, ask him over for a beer or out to dinner or ??

  • MissingLink

    You were never considered a friend. You were only a potential product. The real, but still highly conditional "friendship" could only start after you were baptized. Before then, they will dump you in a second if they don't think you're "progressing" towards baptism.

    JWs don't make real connection with outsiders. It's almost like you're an inferior species or something. They consider you the walking dead and just can't get emotionally connected because they would have to face the fact that their god is about to kill someone they care about. So they just put you in a lower caste and don't think of you as an equal.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Yeah Mat, you took too long so you've been "droped".......standard practice...."If you don't pay, the Witnesses don't play!"

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