Does this site only make you angrier?

by homeschool 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • homeschool

    Hubby says this site is making me obsessed, in a way that's making me angrier and angrier about jw's. It's been almost every single day that I read a thread that seriously gets under my skin or makes me sick about them. He's right, there's a lot on here that will only fuel my fire and help me to go into an angry spiral instead of bettering my life and forgetting about all the stuff I hate about the witnesses. The only problem is that I'm directly linked to immediate family members who are still very much "in" its a toughy.

    I'm gonna try not to get so involved in the negative stuff for awhile and focus on the good stuff, like people on here having cookouts and fishfrys and bonfires

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Yes, it happens time and time again with me. It can make it harder to heal from from a bitter past, but it's also good. It helps me put things into perspective and move along to recovery. There are those here that have great attitudes after having left and healed a bit. It helps that way.

  • wizardca

    No, but I do find my self being a bit obsessed searching for new threads. The site confirmed what I thought. I'm thankful I found it.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I agree with Wizard, too. Some threads make me angry toward the JWs, and some don't. I like this board.

  • BabaYaga

    It's okay. Tell him that getting angry is part of the healing process. No joke.

    1) Denial
    2) Anger
    3) Bargaining
    4) Depression
    5) Acceptance

    You just have three more stages to go through.


    (Okay the last part was mostly in jest, of course these stages are not exact and definitive for everyone!)

    This is the K├╝bler-Ross "stages of grief" model (for folks dealing with great loss or trauma) by the way.

  • 1914BS

    please look at my star packed action feature - 'the lady with 2 ears'. Ya, I know so what, everybody has two ears right???

  • villabolo

    After thirty years of being out of The Lie.....well yes, it makes me angrier.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I don't think I'll ever get past the anger stage. I've been through all the others but hold onto anger. I'm not an angry person, but this is a button that when it gets pushed, I get angry.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Yes, I have sometimes become very angry when reading this forum. It has reminded me of things in my distant past that I had shoved to the back of my brain that I would never have remembered without coming here.

    But I think I NEEDED to realize how angry I am about my JW childhood and early adolescence. I am angy and this site has helped me very much to realize why I am so angry. This is a major step toward healing. I need to be honest with my self and understand that I have been hurt, I have been damaged, I have had my childhood stolen from me. I did not live a normal, happy life as a child or adolescent. The only life that I have had that is happy and meaningful is the life that I have built for myself AFTER leaving the cult.

    We are taught as JWs that we are not supposed to feel anger. We're taught NOT to express our feelings or be honest. We're just supposed to follow the rules, follow the schedule, don't deviate in any way. And most of all don't question anything. Anyone who has been brought up in this environment has years of unwinding to do in order to sort out all of our repressed emotions and try to make sense of what was done to us. And that includes feeling anger. Embrace your emotions!

  • beksbks

    Homeschool, I've been out for over 20 years. I do get angry about things sometimes when I read a thread about some new horror the Dubs have perpetrated on people. Or how thick headed some who are in can be. I just read about the disfellowshipping of a retarded person, and it makes my blood boil. But.............that stuff also reminds me how damn lucky I am that I wised up.

    More important to me, is that I found a group of people here, who are as diverse as they can be, the intelligence level is very high (except for Doe, Priest and Burn of course), and we all experienced this huge thing. I will always be effected by being raised a JW. In all kinds of ways. Have you ever seen a tree that had something tied around it when it was young? A rope or something? That rope is now grown inside that tree. There is no getting it out. But the tree has grown around it and thrived anyway. That is how I see most of us.

    Come on over to the fish fries!! Fluff is good for the soul!

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