by palmtree67 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I was reading easyrider's thread about the CO's council on children and the comment about the discrepancy between kicking out your kids vs. keeping a mate who doesn't serve Jehovah.
I think your relationship with your kids is very different than your relationship with your mate.
Your kids will always be your kids, no matter what. Nothing will ever change that.
Not so with your mate. They could die or you could divorce. You never divorce your children.
Not so with your mate. They could die or you could divorce. You never divorce your children.
I disagree. Shunning your kids is death. Living death. It's beyond divorce and no matter what the society says about it, that is the reality. Shunning is death....I can't repeat that enough...shunning is death...sammieswife.
Your children will always be your children. That is what makes shunning so evil, it is an attempt to artificially break a natural bond. Also, one hopes that eventually the children will leave the nest and stand on their own two feet. But that doesn't sever the relationship, they're still your children.
But that doesn't sever the relationship, they're still your children.
I disagree. We can agree that a biological link is there but as for an emotional or physical bond, it can be severed by the society. That's a fact. It's no different than a person who has a parent that they really don't know or have chosen to hate or shun for any reason - they have a biological link but that's it. We can say 'that is the parent', however, I know kids who will tell you their parents are dead when in fact, they are simply shunning them. They believe that unless they are a JW they are 'dead to them'. Those are kids who are shunning their parents. I also know parents who shun that do not acknowledge that they have children...some don't acknowledge them even when they are dead. Most species can breed and humans do that well - but the parent/child bond is something that must be nurtured along. If one half considers the other have dead to them, and along with that dead is a form of repulsion and hatred that comes with society doctrine, then there is no relationship.
Shunning is a form of death. The way a JW can live with themselves is to think of them as dead. It's easier and justifiable in their heads. sammieswife.
Most species can breed and humans do that well - but the parent/child bond is something that must be nurtured along. If one half considers the other have dead to them, and along with that dead is a form of repulsion and hatred that comes with society doctrine, then there is no relationship.
My brother became inactive 18 years after I was df'd. My jw mom told her "worldly" sister that she wished she'd never had children. So you're correct sammielee24; the WB&TS can break the most natural of bonds. Scary and sad at the same time, isn't it?
my mom told me straight, she would rather I had died than have a blood transfusion. ouch.
ra
As far as JWs go, the bond with your mate is stronger. You can still have a relationship with him/her even if they are df'd. Not so with your grown children. It's backwards, but then so is the religion.
That is what makes shunning so evil, it is an attempt to artificially break a natural bond
That sums it up perfectly as far as I'm concerned.
There is only one proper grounds for parents and children to shun one another. And that is if one or both sides are mean spirited toward the other--it is proper for children to shun mean-spirited parents. Other than that, no one has any right to legislate it (and, even if a parent is mean spirited, it should be the child or children alone that make that decision on an individual basis, not the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger.
Also, your relationship with your children had better be different than with your mate. Otherwise, you would be a pedophile and committing incest.
I have noted that many middle aged JWs seem very saddened by parenting and express that they wish they didn't have children. How very sad! Good lord they hold the bar too high. If the poor kid happens to smoke a cigarette, get a girlfriend, play a sport, go to college, he's dead to them. These are just normal events. I agree that your child relationship is more important than your mate, a mate can be replaced a child or a parent cannot. My husband is equal in my heart to my children because he is their father.
Also, you can be "one" with your mate till one of the two of you die. Not so with you child, at least not scripturally.
