Need help.

by lostjdub93 15 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  flipper

  LOSTJDUB 93- Welcome to the board my friend. You are among people here who care. I was a born-in witness from birth. Got out 5 years ago at age 44 ! I totally understand what you are saying about moving on beyond the witnesses ! It sounds like you have a good relationship with your lady aside from the religion thing. Perhaps you two can come to a happy medium about you respecting her choice to go to her church as it fulfills her - but her respecting YOUR choice as to not choosing a religion as of yet because you aren't sure what you want. Just because you don't go to a church doesn't mean you are a bad person or you or anybody else sould have a negative view of you. I know many people who left the witnesses who aren't in a religion - who are actually much more religious than some alleged Christians !

  Bottom line is good communication between your partner and you will help you two to see that it is the many common things you have together that will bind you in a good relationship . Dwell on the many good things in your relationship - and see if your significant other can respect your views like you respect her views of going to a church. Especially if a prospective child is coming - you two should work at harmony in finding a middle ground here. Reasonableness should prevail . Just some thoughts
• 

  rebel8

  I know that if the JW"s are right

  They're not. Visit the "Best of" folder on this forum and read, read, read. Then verify everything said by doing your own research. You'll be shocked.

  im not gonna make it the way im living now so should i just go all out and be happy with my baby and girlfriend.

  You should do that regardless, shouldn't you? God has chosen not to make Himself known. We can't really know his wishes. The Bible explains a little but it also endorses a lot of evil things like rape, incest, and murder. Who knows if the book we now know as the Bible is really His to begin with or if maybe only parts are? We can't know that right now.

  Just focus on being a good person and enjoying the gift of life. If God one day makes Himself known, He'll be happy with what you've done with yourself.
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  Chalam

  Hi,

  On the subject of "fleecing the flock" there are enough direct warnings, here's a few.

  1 Peter 5:1-3 (New International Version)

  To Elders and Young Men

  1 To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: 2 Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.

  1 Timothy 3:1-8 (New International Version)

  1 Timothy 3

  Overseers and Deacons

  1 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

  8 Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain.

  Titus 1:7 (New International Version)

  7 Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.

  1 Timothy 6:3-10 (New International Version)

  Love of Money

  3 If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

  6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

  With regard to tithing, there are many scriptures. However, the main one you should note at the outset it this

  2 Corinthians 9:7 (New International Version)

  7 Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

  All the best,

  Stephen
• 

  JWdaughter

  I am not clear about the problems you have with her and religion. You are out of the JWs. Right? What does she consider "getting yourself straightened out"? Joining her church or letting go of your old religion completely? Need more information.

  I do agree about the more legal protection if you are married before baby is born, but you are not without recourse if you are not married and you DO have your act together generally. If the issue is just religion, clarify it and see what resolution/compromises you can work out together in love.
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  thomas15

  Lostdub93,

  My heart goes out to you. I don't really know much about your girlfriends church but I did read the statement of faith at their website and so this gives me some idea. But before we go into that there is a bigger issue and that is the upcoming birth of a child. I agree with those who say that a family will be miles ahead if there is religious unity and especally when both husband and wife are In Christ. My advice to you is for you to really think long and hard about what is going to happen and what your role will be. The only "best" thing for you to do is start talking to your girlfriend and get everything out on the table now. You have a responsibility in this matter and that is not going away if you ignore everything, although I don't think that is what you want to do.

  My brief reading of the statement of faith for Sovereign Grace Ministries (of which I have never heard of before) is that it is reformed with some modifications. To give you an idea, the biggest Reformed church in the US is the Presbyterian Church. While there are some Liberal "Mainline" Presbyterian Churches out there, there are also some conservative ones also. It appears that Sovereign Grace is firmly on the conservative side. Presbyterian churches are not independent like Baptist Churches but they are not like the WT or Catholic church either, where everything is run from a top office and trickles down. Rather there are regional Presbyteries that govern a number of local churches. I was baptised Presbyterian although now Baptist I would have no problem going back, but we are not talking about me or Presbyterians, rather Sovereign Grace. By the way, Reformed theology is also called Calvanistic so you may like to read a little on that.

  I also think Sovereign Grace is slightly charasmatic in nature. Not my cup of tea personally but it doesn't appear to be the main feature. Other than that it seems like a rock solid group from a doctrinal perspective (my read), very Bible based and Christ centered. So, given what little I know about your situation and your girlfriends church I think you should work with her on this. I'm sure you will find this church group to be way less dominating than the WT. For an evangelical, it all starts with coming to Christ and you will not be pressured to join until you make that personal decision to put your faith and trust in the risen Jesus. However, I would expect that you would be treated fairly and warmly by those at the church for as long as you go there, even if you never make that decision. As an evangelical myself, I find that it is common to have a percentage, lets just say 20% of those who attend and participate who are not trusting in Christ and they are not pressured to pretend that they do when they don't.

  Again, you don't know me and I don't know you or your situation. But I'm impressed with your willingness to discuss this and I think you want to do the right thing. My vote goes in the "work with your girlfriend" box. And don't worry about her church, it's not a cult from what I can tell.

  Yours truly,

  Tom
• 

  thomas15

  P.S. In my post above I wrote "Pressured to join" which was a bad choice of words. What I ment to communicate is that you will not be considered for membership until you make the decision for Christ and then ask to join. This is of course what I think is the situation (a typical Evangelical) from my vantage point in web site land.

  Tom