Any behavior you regret due to JW teaching

by happpyexjw 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  seek2find

  I regret not only how I, but the organization responded to the needs of others in time of need. When hurricane Katrina hit the gulf, I remember how no special fund was established and how a letter was sent that said if one wanted to donate to the releif that they should make contributions in the regular way and NOT designate the funds to the specific disaster. They was concerned that to much would be designated beyond the need of the witnesses affected, and that the money could be used in other places to build halls and so forth.

  We never did anything in the way of Charity for the community in general, only where fellow witnesses were involved. It didn't seem to follow Christ example. seek2find
• 

  asilentone

  Oh YES! There are so many examples, too many to list. I was a very diehard JW, unfortunately. I wish that I can apologize to certain individuals and I hope they will accept my apologies. I do know one person that will probably never accept my apology.
• 

  Finally-Free

  Yes, I regret being an asshole for 20 years.

  W
• 

  Quandry

  What a list!!!

  1. Treating my parents coldly for over thirty years. Of course they were "worldly" so I couldn't allow them alot of my time. They are both dead now, so I wont' be able to make it up to them now that I am "out" and would love to.

  2. Didn't get an education......not a good example to set for others, as my elder hubbie said. Now, we are in our fifties, no retirement to speak of, and in low paying jobs. We'll have to work until we drop.

  3. Never traveled alot. Too busy working, (at the low paying jobs) and of course, must go out in field service with the weekend group, or it would be setting a bad example.

  4. Only made friends with people "in the truth" so now that we are out, hubbie and I have no friends (other than cyber friends here).

  5. Instead of taking time on the weekends to do interesting and fun family things with my child, we went out in service, studied the magazines, went to meetings, cleaned the KHall, etc.

  6. Looked down on people who weren't "regular" meeting attenders or in service. We were supposed to only associate with those who were "whole-hearted."

  7. Wasted my time studying "truths" and wracking my brain trying to make sense of them only to find that they could change due to "new light," into other equally nonsensical teachings, such as the generation changes.

  8. Spending what little money I did have on gas to take groups out in service. Even bought a huge van that we had for several years, even though we were a family of three, just so that we could take alot of people with us. And then, of course, the money we spent on motels for all the conventions over the years. And of course, buying all the dress clothes that had to constantly be dry-cleaned.

  There are so many more things, but I am depressed enough now just thinking of these......
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  happpyexjw

  Thank you all for sharing your thoughts on this question. Personally, I can relate to so many of the things listed here.

  As a follow-up I would like to ask if any of you think that considering past mistakes has made you a better person in the here and now? Some things we can't make up for, like sitting out in the car during my DA'd father's funeral, but now when I see someone doing something outrageous, I am more inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. It has helped me to understand that sometimes people are simply misguided, but are doing the best they can. That's why it bothers me when someone makes blanket condemnations of everyone who is still a JW. I believe the majority have their heart in the right place. Let's face it, they aren't staying in because it's easy, but rather because they are convinced it is the right thing to do.

  Mary
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  StAnn

  Happy, I disagree with you. Many are staying in because it's easy. It's safe. They don't have to think or make decisions for themselves. There's the occasional one who will leave because they can't take it anymore but the ones who are able to think and reason and have a heart are few and far between.

  That being said, my past life as a judgmental JW has left me more compassionate towards others but I already had a compassionate nature. If anything, leaving the WTS just allowed my inate character traits to come to the fore.

  (sorry, no spell check)

  StAnn
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  happpyexjw

  StAnn, are you saying that those who are still in are heartless? Surely that isn't what you think. As we have seen in this forum, there are many who are still struggling to see the real truth about the wts.
• 

  tenyearsafter

  Exposing my kids to the ridicule of being "different" and not allowing them to grow up doing healthy, normal activities like sports, parties, etc....
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  StAnn

  Happy, I am saying that 90-95% of the JWs still in are heartless. If they had a working heart, they couldn't shun their children/parents/friends, etc. If they had a working heart, they couldn't allow their family members to die because they needed a blood transfusion. If they had a working heart, they wouldn't become excited at the thought of all of the non-JW neighbors, relatives, and co-workers being destroyed at Armageddon and their bodies left for the birds to eat.

  I believe the people who can't stomach those ideas are the ones who eventually break free of the mind control enough to leave. They do have working hearts and their hearts overpower the mind control and won't allow them to remain a part of such a group of cold, evil people.

  StAnn
• 

  Nosferatu

  This happened way back when I was in elementary school. I think I was in Grade one. It was Valentine's day, and I ended up with a big pile of Valentines on my desk, although I didn't hand any out. So, I put them all in a shopping bag and brought them home to dispose of. My mother gave me hell for accepting them and bringing them home.

  The next year, the same thing happened. I recieved a truckload of Valentines on my desk. Except this time, I threw them all into the classroom's trash can. I really can't help but wonder how bad I made the other kids feel by doing that. My mother was very proud of me for 'giving a good witness' to the other children in my class.