any ideas
Can an elder's wife be an unbeliever?
by badboy 22 Replies latest jw friends
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fokyc
NO, Not officially
fokyc
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Nellie
Well, it depends on when they were married. If he was married before he became a witness, then yes. He would not be held accountable for her being an unbeliever - it's not like she's disfellowshipped.
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four candles
Thats true,nellie,a chap came into the troof and made it to elder despite his missus never even coming to meetings. They were married before he joined.
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truthsetsonefree
Absolutely, particularly if they married became he came in. A prominent case of that is Emmanuel Zerbides in London, famous organizer of Meander Tours which takes JW's through the British Museum. Even if he married after he became a Witness he might after after a long time be appointed going by the rule that even someone who has sinned "grossly" after three to five years can get the whole thing expunged.
Isaac
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suchafool
The congo I was in, there is an elder who's wife wasn't a believer. I don't know if he was married or not to her before, but knowing what kind of person he is (meaning I don't think if he was a witness before he was married that he would have found someone outside),he's too much of goody goody and that would have been a big no no for him. He was also the PO, but recently his wife divorced him but he is still an elder.
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John Doe
What if the guy is married to a prostitute?
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oompa
Even if the wife was disfellowshipped, how can he not stay an elder?.....what if she just went wild and had to have my sex?....which is what often happens.....why should he get the elder boot?..........oompa
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TheOldHippie
1. Tim:
3 That statement is faithful.
If any man is reaching out for an office of overseer, he is desirous of a fine work. 2 The overseer should therefore be irreprehensible, a husband of one wife, moderate in habits, sound in mind, orderly, hospitable, qualified to teach, 3 not a drunken brawler, not a smiter, but reasonable, not belligerent, not a lover of money, 4 a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having children in subjection with all seriousness; 5 (if indeed any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?) 6 not a newly converted man, for fear that he might get puffed up [with pride] and fall into the judgment passed upon the Devil. 7 Moreover, he should also have a fine testimony from people on the outside, in order that he might not fall into reproach and a snare of the Devil. -
blondie
Yes.
*** w96 10/15 pp. 17-18 Husband and Elder—Balancing the Responsibilities ***
Scriptural Duties Toward a Wife
13Of course, this counsel given to the wives of elders or ministerial servants presupposes that such wives are themselves dedicated Christians. Generally, this is the case because Christians are required to marry "only in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39) But what of a brother who was already married to an unbeliever when he dedicated his life to Jehovah, or whose wife falls from the way through no fault of his?
14This, in itself, would not bar him from being an elder. Neither, though, would it justify his separating from his wife simply because she does not share his beliefs. Paul advised: "Are you bound to a wife? Stop seeking a release." (1 Corinthians 7:27) He further stated: "If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him, let him not leave her. But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called you to peace. For, wife, how do you know but that you will save your husband? Or, husband, how do you know but that you will save your wife?" (1 Corinthians 7:12, 15, 16) Even if his wife is not a Witness, an elder should be a good husband.
15
Whether his wife is a fellow believer or not, the Christian elder should recognize that his wife needs his loving attention. The apostle Peter wrote: "You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with them [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7) A husband who willfully fails to care for his wife’s needs endangers his own relationship with Jehovah; it could block his approach to Jehovah as "with a cloud mass, that prayer may not pass through." (Lamentations 3:44) This could lead to his becoming disqualified to serve as a Christian overseer.
16
As noted, the main thrust of Paul’s argument is that when a man marries, he relinquishes a measure of the freedom he had as a single man that permitted him to be in "constant attendance upon the Lord without distraction." (1 Corinthians 7:35) Reports show that some married elders have not always been balanced in reasoning on Paul’s inspired words. In their desire to accomplish what they feel good elders should do, they may overlook some of their husbandly duties. Some would find it difficult to refuse a congregation privilege, even if accepting it would clearly be to the spiritual detriment of their wives. They enjoy the privileges that go with marriage, but are they willing to fulfill the responsibilities that go with it?
17
Certainly, zeal as an elder is commendable. Still, is a Christian balanced if, in discharging his duties in the congregation, he disregards his Scriptural responsibilities toward his wife? While desiring to support those in the congregation, a balanced elder will also be concerned about his wife’s spirituality. Some elders’ wives have become spiritually weak, and some have experienced spiritual "shipwreck." (1 Timothy 1:19) While a wife is responsible for working out her own salvation, in some cases the spiritual problem could have been avoided if the elder had ‘fed and cherished’ his wife, "as the Christ also does the congregation." (Ephesians 5:28, 29) To be sure, elders must ‘pay attention to themselves and to alltheflock.’ (Acts 20:28) If they are married, this includes their wives.
*** w96 10/15 p. 22 par. 8 Father and Elder—Fulfilling Both Roles ***Today, an elder might be married to a woman who practices a different religion, is an agnostic, or even an atheist. If she is willing to stay with him, he should not leave her simply because of differing beliefs. He should still ‘dwell with her according to knowledge, assigning her honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one,’ living in hopes of saving her.—1 Peter 3:7; Colossians 3:19.
*** w91 11/15 p. 17 par. 16 Cultivating the Fruit of Self-Control ***To illustrate: There was an elder who had a very ill-tempered unbelieving wife. Yet, he exercised self-control, and this benefited him so much that his doctor told him: "John, either you are by nature a very, very patient man or else you have a powerful religion."
*** w90 9/1 p. 25 par. 8 Are You Qualified to Serve? ***Before a family man can be an elder capable of providing spiritual oversight in a congregation, he must learn how to direct his own household. ‘If any man doesnotknowhow to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?’ (1 Timothy 3:5) True, a man may be opposed by an unbelieving wife. (Matthew 10:36; Luke 12:52) Or one of his children may become guilty of serious sin, though the others are doing well spiritually. Still, if the man has done all that can be expected, and especially if he has had spiritual success with others in his household, rejection of his fine direction by one family member would not necessarily disqualify him from being a ministerial servant or an elder.
14This, in itself, would not bar him from being an elder. Neither, though, would it justify his separating from his wife simply because she does not share his beliefs. Paul advised: "Are you bound to a wife? Stop seeking a release." (1 Corinthians 7:27) He further stated: "If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him, let him not leave her. But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called you to peace. For, wife, how do you know but that you will save your husband? Or, husband, how do you know but that you will save your wife?" (1 Corinthians 7:12, 15, 16) Even if his wife is not a Witness, an elder should be a good husband.
15
Whether his wife is a fellow believer or not, the Christian elder should recognize that his wife needs his loving attention. The apostle Peter wrote: "You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with them [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7) A husband who willfully fails to care for his wife’s needs endangers his own relationship with Jehovah; it could block his approach to Jehovah as "with a cloud mass, that prayer may not pass through." (Lamentations 3:44) This could lead to his becoming disqualified to serve as a Christian overseer.
16
As noted, the main thrust of Paul’s argument is that when a man marries, he relinquishes a measure of the freedom he had as a single man that permitted him to be in "constant attendance upon the Lord without distraction." (1 Corinthians 7:35) Reports show that some married elders have not always been balanced in reasoning on Paul’s inspired words. In their desire to accomplish what they feel good elders should do, they may overlook some of their husbandly duties. Some would find it difficult to refuse a congregation privilege, even if accepting it would clearly be to the spiritual detriment of their wives. They enjoy the privileges that go with marriage, but are they willing to fulfill the responsibilities that go with it?
17
Certainly, zeal as an elder is commendable. Still, is a Christian balanced if, in discharging his duties in the congregation, he disregards his Scriptural responsibilities toward his wife? While desiring to support those in the congregation, a balanced elder will also be concerned about his wife’s spirituality. Some elders’ wives have become spiritually weak, and some have experienced spiritual "shipwreck." (1 Timothy 1:19) While a wife is responsible for working out her own salvation, in some cases the spiritual problem could have been avoided if the elder had ‘fed and cherished’ his wife, "as the Christ also does the congregation." (Ephesians 5:28, 29) To be sure, elders must ‘pay attention to themselves and to alltheflock.’ (Acts 20:28) If they are married, this includes their wives.
*** w96 10/15 p. 22 par. 8 Father and Elder—Fulfilling Both Roles ***Today, an elder might be married to a woman who practices a different religion, is an agnostic, or even an atheist. If she is willing to stay with him, he should not leave her simply because of differing beliefs. He should still ‘dwell with her according to knowledge, assigning her honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one,’ living in hopes of saving her.—1 Peter 3:7; Colossians 3:19.
*** w91 11/15 p. 17 par. 16 Cultivating the Fruit of Self-Control ***To illustrate: There was an elder who had a very ill-tempered unbelieving wife. Yet, he exercised self-control, and this benefited him so much that his doctor told him: "John, either you are by nature a very, very patient man or else you have a powerful religion."
*** w90 9/1 p. 25 par. 8 Are You Qualified to Serve? ***Before a family man can be an elder capable of providing spiritual oversight in a congregation, he must learn how to direct his own household. ‘If any man doesnotknowhow to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?’ (1 Timothy 3:5) True, a man may be opposed by an unbelieving wife. (Matthew 10:36; Luke 12:52) Or one of his children may become guilty of serious sin, though the others are doing well spiritually. Still, if the man has done all that can be expected, and especially if he has had spiritual success with others in his household, rejection of his fine direction by one family member would not necessarily disqualify him from being a ministerial servant or an elder.