Were there any Elders in your congregation that seemed to dislike you?

by RULES & REGULATIONS 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  RULES & REGULATIONS

  There is an Elder in my congregation who I feel dislikes me because I'm inactive and doesn't know what to do with me. He seems to go on his business as soon as I walk in. A couple of times as I was talking with a member of the congregation, he rudely interrupted my conversation and took the person by the shoulder and walked away as if his conversation was more important.

  Once I was talking to my mom( who is very sick and has many ailments but still makes it to some meetings)and this self-righteous Elder walks right in our conversation and makes a rude comment about me in front of my mom.

  This was the actual coversation we had to show you how self-righteous he is:

  Me:''Mom,we will come over sometime this week to visit.''

  Mom:''That's fine. We're always home"

  Self righteous Elder walks in the middle of our conversation.

  Elder:''How are you today?''

  Me:''I'm doing good.''

  Elder to my mom: ''How are you Mrs------?

  Mom: ''Well not too good......you know I have many problems with my health."

  Elder:"You may not be as physically healthy as your son but at least you have more spiritual health."
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  blondie

  I've seen elders and some of the rank and file act this when even when I was an elder's wife. They have judged you to be a spiritual danger and are trying to control the "sheep's" contact and contamination by you. Your mother has to be the one that speaks up in this case.

  You can say, "excuse me, brother elder, I was having a nice conversation with my mother that you interrupted." I doubt that they will learn anything, but your mother might get the drift.

  Blondie
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  Farkel

  :Were there any Elders in your congregation that seemed to dislike you?

  If a male dub has any brains, education, critical thinking skills, talent or a hot wife, it is virtually guaranteed that there will be elders who won't like him. These elders generally fit in the category of brainless, uneducated, zero thinking skills, zero talent and married to an ugly wife.

  Farkel
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  undercover

  I've experienced similar circumstances as you described but it happened with elders that I got along with. The ones that didn't like me didn't talk to me at all unless it was to try to counsel me for some minor infraction.

  In most cases elders dislike having their supposed authority usurped. By being inactive, or worse, questioning, it puts them on the defensive and they react in the only way they know how...lord it over you.

  But to be fair, it's not entirely the elders fault on their own. They've been indoctrinated to think that way and to act that way. While they may have more to answer for when it comes to how the flock is handled, in some ways they're victims as well.
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  jws

  Yes, there were elders that I could tell didn't really like me. Nothing as bad as what you're experiencing. When I was on a JC, 2 of them had their chance to punish me to the full extent of their law, but didn't. At least they were fair.

  That sounds like the sort of stuff I would revel in though. When he busts into a conversation, go talk to somebody else. Now he's trapped in a conversation, trying to get out of it to bust-up another one. He'll end up looking like the a-hole. Sounds like he might not need help doing that though.

  Such idiots! What he's supposed to be doing is keeping the members of his flock and caring for lost ones. Instead, he's putting a wedge between you and the congregation. If you lose your ties, what's keeping you there? If you can't talk to anybody anyway, disfellowshipping isn't even a punishment.

  You could ask him whether you've been disfellowshipped without being informed of it. If you haven't, then why can't you talk to anybody? Call him out. Let him explain himself. My guess is he's a spineless weasel who cowers when confronted.
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  JimmyPage

  I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. I was inactive and an elder came to visit me, presumably out of love and caring, right? I let him come in and in the course of our conversation I told him that I was waiting for the cable man to come that day. Mind you, I had never had cable before, and it was just the basic package, no movie channels. He asked me, "Are you getting cable so that you can watch dirty movies?" From that moment on he went from being "Brother Birk" to "Brother Jerk" in my eyes. I also like to refer to him as "Brother Smirk". Asshole deluxe. Gifts in men, my eye.
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  JimmyPage

  If a male dub has any brains, education, critical thinking skills, talent or a hot wife, it is virtually guaranteed that there will be elders who won't like him. These elders generally fit in the category of brainless, uneducated, zero thinking skills, zero talent and married to an ugly wife.

  And you better not be taller than Brother Napoleon either LOL.
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  DazedAndConfused

  For the most part everyone loved me, according to my mother. Mommy glasses? lol.

  Anyway, an elder on my jc 20 years ago was friends with both my ex and I at the time of me getting df'd. I was the horrible one who resorted to adultery to get out of an abusive situation, so in his eyes I was bad, bad, baaaaaaad. He actually told me many times that if his wife B***** were to do to him what I did, she would be out on her ear!!!! That I was fortunate that this man was willing to take me back. grrrrrr..........

  After this, he and my mother have had many heated discussions about this, even in the kh parking lot, with this self rightous br. berating her every chance he got.

  Many years later K****, the self rightous br. had a talk at the ca. He himself was in a jc before the week was out for...you guessed it, adultery.

  I guess he was the fortunate one because she took him back. He doesn't deserve her, she is a wonderful person.

  Now this br. will not even look at my mother, much less talk to her because she still has the audacity to tell him things about my ex that he should find appalling and he doesn't.

  I feel vindicated, but I feel very bad for my jw mother for the abuse she has gotten over the years about my situation.
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  PanzerZauberei

  It is a form of manipulation. Elders use that so-called inward stare to make you feel like they are being informed about you by your actions. If you do not do as they say they treat you like a non entitiy. If they can't cajole you into being one fo their automatons they will try to bully you into being one. If you won't be bullied, then they try exclusion and ignoring you. It's all bs.

  I know that of all the elders I have known only two have evver really seemed to like me. Whether I was doing well or not, they were consistently friendly. One of them died and the other left and became a Christian. The ones who gave my family a rough time in West sacramento have all been either removed or had to step down for some sort of wrong doing. I think that's just Kharma and not the Holy Spirit at work!
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  KAYTEE

  I would say in my case most of the 9-10 elders disliked me, the reason being, and others like me will know, if you stand your ground and not curtail to them, you will inevitably upset them.

  They had to make a public unreserved apology on the platform over a situation that they had handled very badly, I pursued them through a new C.O. over the matter, my spiritual progress was finished from then on.

  KT