Who here has just let the JW stuff go?. I NEED HELP GUYS!!!!!!!.................

oompa

....i am so frikkin obsessed about the jw lies and my newfound truths about them, and it is prob driving me crazy or causing depression.....if i wake up in the middle of the night, i never get back to sleep as my mind starts racing about jw crap and how it affects my marriage, and then how can i make this marriage work with her such a hardcore dub....i told my wife i now realize i am an abusive husband.....I MUST STOP talking to her about the REAL truth!!!..........it is killing her inside and we have had soooo many bad discussions that turn into arguments......on top of that she says she is now closer to Jah and the org than at any other time in her life, that now that she has no positive direction from me, she relies totally on jehovah and prays to him more than ever....

we talked about separation, and that i was going to lose her over our religious differences........i feel so sorry for what i have put her through, and i know that if i can not REALLY shut up with my ohsohelpful comments of truths about this truth she will leave me due to "spiritual endangerment".......and she said she is damm close to that happening.....i told her i knew it to and would so hate to lose her due to our religious differences

at my recent shepherding call, they said to try and stop focusing on the negatives i have found in JW, and focus on the good things...and that is not a bad idea even if i never go back to meetings....there are good things about dubs....the efforts at ending racism and at least for me, some really good lifelong friends.......even their hope for the future was pretty good to me, even though it is a bunch of crap and i no longer believe the bible is gods word or inspired.....it does have some good suggestions for a happy life and ideas as to how to treat others........but so do just about every holy book of other faiths.......

I had plans to start going to some meetings with my wife, but today, after a sleepless night i told her i just dont think i can do it, and just as she strongly believes it is the truth, i do not, and that i think the guys on the GB are not led by holy spirit cause if she will read the Proclaimers book, she will see we have never gotten a single bible inerpretation of prophecy correct.......so she says "so what is there? you think we are just going to grow old and die? and then what, we go to to heaven?".....i said yes, we will die and i dont have a clue as to if there is anything else...i also asked her to please keep my thought about this between us as i really don't don't want to be DF'd and be labeled a true apostate.....it would kill my son and parents, and make her life even more difficult........i think she may tell them.......she has turned me into them twice for being here and talking with "apostates" although i honestly do not feel most here are that......this is just a great support group!

so then she says "then why did god create man perfect and that he would never grow old and die?".......so of course i said "the bible does not teach he was perfect, it just said everything god created was good, and the bible does not say anything about him being created to live forever....that is just stuff we have been taught since the day we were born....when i read the bible now without jw ideas, it looks like a totally different book"......... SEE I JUST DID IT AGAIN!!!!..........damm she did not like that and stormed out of the room!!!!!!!!!........GEEZE WHY DO I DO THIS!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?..............I NEED HELP GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....... OOMPA

JimmyPage

Oompa you can polish a turd all you want, at the end of the day it's still a turd.

Emily24

I feel for you! This sounds exactly what my husband and I are going thru right now...except our kids are getting dragged along for the ride.

tenyearsafter

Hi Oompa...I empathize with you. Trying to argue with a sold in JW is next to impossible. When that JW is your spouse, it makes it even harder. One thing I have learned about people in general is that attacking their belief systems makes them defensive and unyielding. Have you tried to just take the approach of asking your wife to show you where in the Bible it states things she is saying is truth? For example, ask her in a kind way to share where in the Bible it states that Adam was perfect and would never die. Most JW's I know believe that the Bible is God's word, so try and use that as your way to make a point. Tell her that you want her to use the Bible, not WTS literature to help you understand. The Bible may make your points much more effectively than you can...how can she argue God's truths?!

AWAKE&WATCHING

((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG GIANT HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))

I have no advice. I only lasted a few more months with my ex-husband once I found out. But our marriage sucked anyway. We led completely separate lives except for meeting attendance. Nothing in common. I wanted to get outside and hike and enjoy nature. He wanted to sit in front of the TV.

I can only tell you that it was as big of a relief to be away from having to hear him tell me it's God's organization on a daily basis (no matter what I shared with him that I'd learned) as it was to quit attending meetings.

I know you have been struggling for quite awhile with this and I hope that you are able to find peace in this lifetime. I personally believe that this is all we have.

oompa

tenyearsafter.............trust me i have tried ever kind and gentle approach there is....e-mails with just TINY things for her to prove to herself or me......NADDA!!!!!!!.......SHE IS TOTALLY UNWILLING TO QUESTION ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!...........just always goes back to "it is the truth, and i put my trust in jehovah".........that is about it............oompa

i just hope some here can help me clear my head of things.........otwo has found peace in his marriage, and i bet never brings jw crap up..........

megs

Oompa... First of all, I don't think it's wrong of you to try to get through to her. You obviously love her. If it were something other than religion, no one would even argue with you trying to get her out.. Let's say you and your wife both worked for Enron, you'd devoted your lives to moving up in the company, you had financial stake in their shares etc. Then, before the big crash, you received information that made it clear that they were up to no good, they were lying to their shareholders, and manipulating the system. So with this information, you would obviously go to your wife and try to get you both out of the company. Now she doesn't want to believe anything you say because they've treated her great as an employee, given her good raises over the years, and seemingly valued her contributions. Would you just give up and let her continue working for the company, knowing it was a sinking ship? Or would you keep trying to get through to her? You are not wrong to be in the mindset that you are, but you do have to face the fact that unless you can find some common ground, your future may not be together.

AWAKE&WATCHING

oh yeah... I could have NEVER just learned to keep my mouth shut to keep from fighting about it, not if I lived for a million years. No how - no way, not in my character. I'm a caller of BULLSHIT from way back.

If you can do it then that's your choice and the reward of a happy marriage may be waiting for you. You have got to figure out how much YOU can swallow without talking back. I hope that you get to a happy place no matter what you decide.

sir82

I am of the opinion that you can't convince someone to change their belief systems...they have to change it themselves - when they are ready to. The more you try to force them to see "the truth", the more they will shut their eyes and refuse to see.

Your best bet, IMHO, is to just continue to mildly, non-confrontationally, point out issues ans discrepancies in what you see. At some point, very likely, she will reach a "tipping point" - it might take 5 weeks or 5 years - but no one will leave until they are really ready to.

In the meantime, perhaps one of the things she misses is a husband who takes the "spiritual lead in the family". Perhaps there is something you can do that shows her you are interested in meeting this need of hers, without driving you personally bonkers with WT crap? What I do is just simply read and discuss the Bible with my wife - no Watchtowers "explaining" the verses, no Reasoning Book, no nothing - just read 4 or 5 chapters, in context, and discuss it.

cluless

OOMPA

You do what you think is right....Maybe that sounds to easy.

But look at the impact you have had on this board by being you.

My wife is no hypocrite when she fakes it for me --and in my opinion you are no hypocrite if you go to meetings and fake it for your wife.

The best thing is to to take the long term view. After all your wife is just as sure in her conviction as you are in yours.

Take Care

Clueless

Who here has just let the JW stuff go?. I NEED HELP GUYS!!!!!!!.................

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