Thanks and Who Am I...

by trebor 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Welcome, Trebor! I don't know why your name seems vaguely familiar, somehow.

  • mostlydead
    mostlydead

    Welcome trebor! When one has come to this conclusion, this board is a validating place to be.

  • shopaholic
    shopaholic

    Welcome Trebor. Enjoyed reading your post!

  • WuzLovesDubs
    WuzLovesDubs

    Welcome! Do tell us more about yourself...there is always someone here who is reading and there are always people here to share your experiences!

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    Trebor----WECOME I feel you made the right decision, I'm happy for you and your Wife.

    I hope you can get your Family out of the cult, It takes time. Thank you for sharing your story.

    I would like to hear more about you.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Glad you and the missus got out...... (WTG Pops for still kinda talking to yall!)

  • trebor
    trebor

    Thank you again for all the warm greetings. In response to those who asked and are interested, here are some more details concerning me.

    Being raised a Jehovah's Witnesses never meant a big deal to me prior to my pre-teen years. My parents always provided much and sacrificed much for their children. My mother tended to be more of the straight-laced respecting the religion, while my father was more lenient. There were stretches in my childhood where both my parents worked two jobs, even three for my father.

    I remember being at my grandmothers around or on the holidays, being also with my Uncle and Aunt, cousins too. This of course was my father's side of the family. My mother's side lived/lives several states away and all were either somewhat strong or very strong in the faith of Jehovah's Witnesses. My parents ensured either right before or right after Christmas my sister and I received many presents from them; including buying gifts for us throughout the year. Making the meetings was somewhat sporadic, and being out in field service even more so, up until about the age of 11-12. Then things kicked into high gear.

    By the time I was 11 my mother was pregnant with my brother. That in part may have emphasized the need to make more meetings and the need and support of those in the congregation. Honestly, the hall we were currently a part of as well as the last ten years wasn't in the greatest neighborhood/area. The territory was also rough to work.

    As the years progresses, the reigns and restrictions were enforced harder and harder upon my sister and me. My mother could not work as much as she use to and my father seemed to work all the time. Maybe once in a blue moon he would make it to the Kingdom Hall. I also understood how my father appeared just to be going through the motions of being a Jehovah's Witnesses supporter for the sake of my mother. I swore by the age of 13 it was the case. I became disgusted by the religion in wanting to be "normal". As the reigns of the indoctrination tightened for me, the more I wanted to rebel. Something wasn't right, the religion was wrong, but I was too wrong and too ignorant to figure out what it was exactly.

    I approached my father at the age of 13 telling him I no longer wanted to go to meetings and I wanted to attend a birthday party. I thought for sure he would take my side and explain to me how we stick with it for the sake of my mother. That was not the case. Rather he told me that I could not attend the birthday party, and that by stopping going to the meetings would mean turning my back on God and he would not allow me to do that.

    I became more rebellious for the next couple of years, and became deeply entrenched with double life living. Never involved with drugs or anything else illegal, but had my "Jehovah Witness" persona, and who I really was and felt.

    Within the next couple of years, in hearing of the Berlin Wall coming down, the cries of peace and security from Europe, Global Democracy and such, as well as the generation teachings, I decided I was going to take being a Jehovah Witnesses seriously. After all, the world is about to end and Armageddon was about to come, Prophecy was being fulfilled according to the Society's teachings. Of course I did an "examination" of other beliefs - Courtesy of the "Mankind's Search for God" publication from the Watchtower Society, and that proved to me all other religions were no good, and I "knew" you had to belong to something. All the signs were being fulfilled just like the Society stated. So at 15 I was baptized. It was a combination of the believing the interpretation of prophecy by the Society as well as their teachings appearing to be correct to me at the time which brought that decision from me. Not to forget not wanting to die at Armageddon.

    As the years progressed, I took being a Jehovah's Witness and listening to the Society, including the Elders as being the mouthpiece for God. After all they were all appointed and chosen directed by God's Holy Spirit. How could I not listen to them?

    By age 17, my mother gave birth to my last sibling, my youngest sister. The organization was in full effect for our family as since 14 years old we moved to a different congregation in a much nicer area with members who appeared much more “normal” than the Jehovah’s Witnesses from our previous Kingdom Hall. See, in our previous Hall, there appeared to be two extremes. Either people who were into a lot of bad things and trouble, or those that were so straight-laced, some did not even have televisions. From that, there were a select few who appeared to be more “balanced”.

    In this new Hall, there were many Witnesses who appeared more “balanced” and only a few who were on either side of the spectrum. When the Generation teaching failed, and was changed, as well as the revision to the Awake! purpose statement, these changes appeared no big deal to me. Hey, I’m with some great people now, and the majority didn’t make a big fess about it; besides that all my friends and family which we actual talk to were all for it…Since my teenage years, from my father’s side of the family, my grandmother passed away and communication slowly but surely was severed from other non-Witness members.

    By my mid-twenties, I married. By my late twenties, more doubts came to the forefront of my mind. I pushed them asides as being fleshly tendencies and the need to wait for Jehovah. Some appointments didn’t make sense, the way the congregation operated didn’t appear to be spirit directed but more man oriented – I push those thoughts to the side though and blamed my imperfection again.

    In my early thirties I was still a Ministerial Servant. I didn’t auxiliary pioneer enough to make Elder. In this congregation, Field Service activity was seen as the measure of one’s spiritual activity. In fact, prior to my appointment at age 19, I was told if I would auxiliary pioneer for one month it would really help the elders make their case before the C.O. Even then, I thought that was somewhat strange, as Auxiliary Pioneering didn’t make me a better teacher or ‘magically’ more spiritual. But at that time I did it and it worked. I was appointed an MS. It was something I wanted. I wanted to do more for the Organization, and believed it was the will of God for me to do more within the Organization.

    I was older now and wiser. And while there was still this push by the Elders to reach out (aka be in the ministry) more, the title of Elder was just that – A title. I was in no rush, and believed Jehovah would have me appointed when the time was right; according to “His “time-table. After all, I was doing all I could.

    Circumstances, including the flooding of the Kingdom Hall caused my wife and me to change the congregation we were a part of. We thought at the time it was ironic, as there were many problems in the Hall we were a part of and figured God may have been cleaning house. Prior to that, my wife, along with her parents, my parents, my married sister and two other siblings all attended the same congregation. Months after the flood hit, my parents and sister move, my brother gets married and moves, and my sister and brother-in-law attend a different congregation altogether. My wife and I were in this new congregation and my thinking really started to kick into high gear.

    We needed to update/obtain new blood/medical proxies for being with the new Hall. After all, much of the previous records/files were damaged or destroyed by the flood and it wouldn’t hurt to have fresh records on hand anyhow. Our previous stance on blood fraction remained still unchanged, we decided against it as it was taking in blood no matter how you tried to break it down. It didn’t make sense to us. And that became the turning point. The more I thought about it the more it didn’t make any sense. It ultimately led to my research, investigation, study of the history and beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses, as well as an examination of the history of religion and the Bible in general.

    The results are as stated earlier. Mrs. Trebor and I have no regrets in leaving the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses. While there may be many sincere followers, it doesn’t make it truth. We wish our other family members would see it the same way, but we understand them better now, and understand better what the Watchtower Society does to people and how some may never be able to break away. I just hope for their sake their never faced with a life or death decision that costs them their life for following the “current truth” of the Watchtower Society.

    Sorry for the book – Although the aforementioned is still very much abbreviated.

  • passwordprotected
    passwordprotected

    Thanks for the additional info. Hope you stick around.

  • crazycate
    crazycate

    Very interesting, and thanks for posting your story. It's wonderful that you and your wife got out together!

    The changing blood doctrine was a big part of my early doubts too. When it was all or nothing it made sense to me, but when they started accepting parts, I began to have problems with it. And then when I discovered that once upon a time organ transplants weren't allowed, I really started to wonder. Could it be that blood transfusions were like organ transplants? After all, I couldn't sit down and eat someone's kidney, but I could have one transplanted into my body. Perhaps abstaining from blood meant simply the improper use of blood, the disrespectful use of blood. For example, drinking an enemy's blood after a batte. Jesus allowed for "work" on a sabbath to save a life. Perhaps the respectful use of blood (saving a life) was also proper. And how could we use fractions of someone else's blood that they donated (apparently against God's law)? On terms of the law of supply and demand, our use of that blood would be encouraging the breaking of God's law.

    Oh dear, better put my soap box away and just say, "Welcome!"

    Cate

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa
    I'll spare you further details for now, but for you reading including any lurkers, understand despite the heartache, pain and sacrifice, I made the right choice and could not be a hypocrite and live the lie. I made the choice when I first discovered the facts - that I could not ignore them and pretend. I was ready to sacrifice it all for the (real) truth. I still have my wife and In-Laws, but indeed have great lost in the way of family and friends. Regardless, it is still worth it and I advise everyone and anyone who is stuck or on the fence about being a supporter of the Watchtower Society to leave it.

    Very powerful and encouraging statement. It may help many here that are torn as to whether to make the step to get out.

    Even then, I thought that was somewhat strange, as Auxiliary Pioneering didn’t make me a better teacher or ‘magically’ more spiritual.

    So true. JW's have lost all instincts on what being spiritual is.

    Welcome to the Board,

    purps

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