My continuing soap opera

JimmyPage

Well the elders wanted to meet with the wife and I last week. One of the elders I like, the other one I did not feel comfortable with. So I told the wife this. Then as they tried to find another elder that we are both comfortable with I thought alot about what I wanted to do.

I got a lot of advice on this board. Many people told me not to disassociate. But when it all comes down to it, that's what I really want to do. I do not want to pass this cult on to my children. I want to rip this religion out of my family tree right here and now. If it means losing touch with my parents, then maybe they're not worth keeping in touch with anyway. I've had this religion rammed down my throat all my life and I'm sick of it.

I understand where my wife is coming from and I don't want to hurt her feelings. I don't want to reveal personal details about my sex life and I don't want to be made to feel like crap for my own private decisions.

My wife, of course, thinks I have a prideful attitude. I keep telling her, though, that she will see things my way ten years from now. Right now she is trying to have me associate with more "spiritual" people and gets a frown any time I'm friendly with my inactive friends. When I mention the book about the FLDS that I'm reading she quickly tries to dismiss it by saying, "Sounds boring."

Even if I go through with a judicial committee I can't see me faking my way through it. I have a copy of the elders' manual that I've downloaded so I know what they want to hear. But I just don't care. And if I'm going to go out I want to do it on my terms, not theirs. Not showing up to the committee is not like me, either, cuz I don't want to appear afraid. Yeah, right now, giving my DA letter before they DF me is feeling like the right way to go.

I haven't been to the meetings in a while and it feels GREAT!

Thanks for listening.

Snoozy

What a great point you make about passing the religion down in generations..I never thought of it like that.

My deceased JW hubby and his mom and his sister and brother in law are the last in the JW religion in our family.

His Mom is almost 90 and his sister and BIL have 2 grown kids and from what I hear one is disfellowshipped and the other left the religion also.

So it looks like the religion just might die with them....not that I am in any hurry for anyone to die..even the witnesses ..but I wonder how true this is in other JW families?..I knew of several where the kids left after getting of age.

Since the religion really only got started growing in the 50's and those that were in it are getting pretty old now..I wonder if the JW numbers will start declining fast pretty soon?

Might be something to watch for..

Snoozy..

And Jimmy, I felt the same way. I did NOT want my name associated with the JW religion in any way. I wrote a disassociation letter when I left.
And it felt great. I was lucky because we moved about an hour away shortly after that. They couldn't bug me.

Only thing is that the "JW spouse" can make life pretty unbearable at times with their doomsday attitude.

yknot

Happy Trails.......

Good vibes and prayers for your marriage.....

Keep us posted

cameo-d

What happened to letting your wife face the music since she made the appointment without regard to you?

Just think of all the happy satisfying ways you could be spending your time if you weren't playing the game....downloading the manual, trying to come up with answers to potential questions, etc. etc. Just having it on your mind all the time.

They are still choking the time away from your life.

My wife, of course, thinks I have a prideful attitude. I keep telling her, though, that she will see things my way ten years from now. Right now she is trying to have me associate with more "spiritual" people and gets a frown any time I'm friendly with my inactive friends. When I mention the book about the FLDS that I'm reading she quickly tries to dismiss it by saying, "Sounds boring."

Sounds like a lot of manipulation to me. You may see it as 'not hurting her feelings' but if you keep bowing to the pressure and body language, you will be PW. Looks like everybody wants to run your life Page.

cawshun

I've been following your soap opera Jimmy and I think your taking the right stand. The elders have no business knowing anything about your sex life now or before marriage.

Your wife is making her jw life miserable for you now, so how can it be any worse after you DA?

Your kids will thank you one day! At least they will have one parent that isn't forcing the cultish way's on them.

Your wife is comfortable making you uncomfortable, turn the tables. I'm not promoting meaness, I just think you shouldn't have to walk on eggs around her, see if she likes living that way.

I do hope your marriage survives this.

I am proud that you don't want your kids to live a life as a JW. No one else can save them from it but you.

I think in the end, your wife will respect you for not caving.

Best Wishes

leavingwt

I do not want to pass this cult on to my children. I want to rip this religion out of my family tree right here and now.

That is precisely how I felt, and I proceeded accordingly.

-LWT

beksbks

I do not want to pass this cult on to my children. I want to rip this religion out of my family tree right here and now.

That is precisely how I felt, and I proceeded accordingly.

-LWT

You guys make me want to cry. I never had to make this choice, as I was out for almost 5 years ( a lifetime in learning) before I had children. I can only say that I have been beyond thankful and more than proud, that my children never lived one day of that life.

crazyblondeb

I'm glad i got out when my daughter was a baby. She can't thank me, cause she has no idea

what it was like.

For that i'm so grateful. I didn't want her to have any memories of it.

sacolton

I think disassociating is the best thing to do. It gives you the final word and be sure to pass the word to others in the congregation. Make copies of your letter and state the reasons clearly ... share this letter with everyone, so there's no rumor of any misconduct on your part. Gossip is their only source of entertainment. Disassociating gives you a clean slate and it feels great! It's all about closure and ending it once and for all.

We're here for ya. Good luck!

og

I DA'd, mainly so my friends around the country would know I left on my own initiative, and suspect that I was a heretic, rather than hearing DF, and assuming I'd been immoral. Because at the time, I hadn't been immoral!

Been making up for it ever since.

cheers,
Angus

My continuing soap opera

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