Needs of the Congregation......"Raise Your Hands Higher!"

by bronzefist 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • bronzefist
    bronzefist

    "Friends" have lost their jobs......so what. "Friends" are depressed.....so what. "Friends" are being kicked to the curb, because they're not in the clique...so what.

    The local needs talk was, Raise your hands higher for the WT conductor who will NOT call on those with names he forgets. In turn they complain to him for not calling on them. In turn the elders decide to blame everyone but him.

    Anyone else have any "Needs" talks that were assinine?

    brzfst

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Welcome to All Time Jeff's.....

    ELDER PET PEEVE #1

    This absolutely drove me bat shit crazy. Since this was a pet peeve, I suddenly have adrenalin, and since their isn't any football on, I am going to spout off....

    When I was appointed an MS, I had to sit through ASSININE local needs parts. Cleaning the hall? For 15 freaking minutes? What about making sure your infant children are taken out when they start to cry? (Oops! Only one family in a congregation of 45 qualifies for that! Glad they got it up the @$$....) My favorite was an elder talking about how all the young people in the congregation needed to be respectful of the older ones.... Well, there was only one teenager in our congregation. I asked the PO what that was about, and I learned that this wasn't to be the topic, and that I was the "young person" the elder had in mind... Me, a 24 year old MS...... (He was an old fart, later to be deleted... that was a happy day)

    Well, when I got to be an elder, it was one of the first things I brought up. I told the body that I felt the local needs parts were disjointed bitch sessions. (I didn't use the word "bitch".... out loud. Of course, we weren't talking about the PO's wife either....) I told them that it seemed to me that these parts should be approved by the body ahead of time... (I asked around, I knew this was how it was supposed to be,,,,) Well, they said that at the next elders meeting, for all to bring their ideas.

    The next elder meeting was the first time I saw how elder bodies can govern on personal opinion.

    The two older elders AGAIN wanted to talk about the lack of respect from the young people. Another wanted to talk about the KH Schedule. Whatever was pissing them off, thats what they wanted to talk about. The "needs" part evidentally were for the elders, not the congregation. After 30 minutes, we finally got across some WT articles that could be used for legitimate local needs......

    Old fart elder #1 was so pissed, he went ahead and talked about what he wanted anyway. I was so mad I was shaking....

    True, that elder body was particularly dysfunctional. And the CO said I was a little to up their butts about local needs. (he was splitting the baby in two instead of taking a stand. He knew what those elders did...)

    Other dumb local need parts included "Join the Theocratic Ministry School". "Comment More at Meetings" "Are You Keeping Your House Clean? (you poorer members of the congregation)" "Are You Paying Gas Money to the Pioneers or else drive them around?" "Are You Depressed? Go Out in FS!"

    Grrrr... I hated local need parts.... What a waste.

    Eventually, we got some younger elders, and the median age of the elders dropped below 70 for the first time in a long time at that congo. We stopped having the need to play the theme to Jurassic Park every time those old elders came through the door...... Local need parts improved too.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    The most common one I have heard of is missing boasting sessions. First, if they are not there, they cannot possibly get anything out of it. Then, if they have to waste time at boasting sessions discussing the sinfulness of missing them, it probably isn't worth being there in the first place.

    A meeting that is worth attending will not have to have 20 minutes out of it set aside to discuss the importance of not missing them.

  • yknot
    yknot

    This week's reminders were:

    A) Keep comments to a minimum and suggested direct quotes from pubs being utilized only ! (No additional Insight or WT/Awake References needed! The slave as prepared an abundant spiritual meal. You know what they say, too many cooks (R&F wannabe researchers) ruin the stew!)

    B) Continue to go beyond the TMS time allowance and the Conductor will be forced to move away from the polite rap on the armrest to either a bell or cutting off the podium mics!.... He raps, you shut up and return to your seat IMMEDIATELY!

    C) Young children (infant to 5) should be kept quite during the meetings, the BOE 'frowns' on any diversions other then WT literature.

    D) Older Children (6-25) should only be seen taking notes about the spiritual provisions be served at the time. (some 14 yrs olds got caught passing notes about who they met at the CA)

    Item C was directed to us in the library who brought Bible based coloring pages and crayons and also the Spanish Speaking COTBOE wife who brought a baggie of snacks!....but the kids were QUIET!....

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    thank god I don't have to attend any of those sessions!

  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    The lamest "local needs" part that I've heard recently in my current congregation was this:

    "How To Comment"

    It just so happens that this elder body just couldn't handle the diverse, deep, meditative and reflective thoughts of the small handful of publishers when they gave comments. This elder (secretary) stipulated to comment in this concrete order (1) give a brief answer as stated in the paragraph, (2) mention the scripture quoted/sited in your comment and (3) try to make a final comment that will lead into the next paragraph.

    Mechanical....yet safe.

    Yes, the general bunch in the hall are drones. However, some publishers in my congregation are educated and some are very insightful. Thus, the curve ball thrown when these elders conduct a study session. I actually believe that some of these publishers do comment (like I do) with major league words in an intuitive manner OUT OF SPITE. Ha Ha Ha.

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    ATJ - You & I had the same pet peeve. My favorite was the "You should come to all the meetings" LN part. But, on TMS/SM averaged about 70% of the pubs and was the lowest attended meeting (even lower than the BS). So, weren't you preaching to the choir?

    Actually, the week the LN part was on endurance. Although I disagree with some of the points made about what needed to be endured (in my case, enduring the meetings without screaming is an accomplishment), he also made some philosophical points about focusing on the positive and looking beyond your current problems (again, I'm thinking this too shall pass and not looking at a "paradise earth").So, it certainly wasn't the worst part on the meeting.

    I'm suprised they actually still allow the BOE to pick these subjects. I'm sure that will change at some point.

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    Yes I have mentioned this before: we had a local needs talk that was (in part) about not using too much toilet paper in the Kingdom Hall bathroom to save precious resources.

    So don't let Witnesses contradict you when you tell them that they even need the Watchtower Society to tell them how to wipe their own bums.

  • slimboyfat
    slimboyfat

    I think you are right about that. We had a pretty wacky local needs talk last night delivered by an elder who is new to the congregation. (It was Satan who took away the Book Study don't you know! ) I was going to make a thread about that at some point. I can see the Society getting rid of local needs talks because they can be a bit unpredictable in terms of faithfully transmitting the ideology.

  • Anator
    Anator

    This thread is hilarious. It comes right down to micro-managing the congregation. In business micr-management is a management style where a manager closely observes or controls the work of his or her subordinates or employees. Micromanagement is generally used as a negative term to describe one who manages micro-brains, or those with little intelligence. Hmmmmmm....surely the elders don't look upon their flock as such

    In contrast to giving general instructions on smaller tasks while supervising larger concerns, the micromanager (elder) monitors and assesses every step, and avoids delegation of decisions. Micromanagement (elders) are often easily recognized by the flock, but micromanagers (elders) rarely view themselves as such. Micromanagers (elders) will also refute such claims by citing their management (teaching) style as "Structured or Organizational", this is part of the denial process.

    The notion of micromanagement (elder-ship)can be extended to any social context where one elder takes an inappropriate level of control and influence over the members of the congregation. Continued micromanagement (elder-crapish) can result in disengagement. A disengaged (brother or sister) puts in time but little else, and their apathy affects not only their own productivity but that of his/her congegation members. Because a consistent pattern of micromanagement (elder-poopish) tells a congregational grunt-rate you don’t trust their work or judgment, it is a major factor in triggering disengagement.

    Extreme cases represent dangerous management (elder-pathology). The latter is characterized by an obsessive style of management (elder-craziness) and is closely related to bullies, narcissists and other management (elder-pathologies). Micromanagers (eldership) like many addicts are the last person to recognize that their addiction is in controlling others.

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