Help

by purplesofa 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  purplesofa

  Email from hopscotch~

  Can you thank everyone for their help, support and advice for me please - also a big thank you to yourself. I am not going to cave in to this emotional blackmail from my family. What makes it hard is that even though you know this kind of thing happens with JW families, you somehow think because you are a close that your family will be different. This makes you realise how brainwashed and under the control of the organisation a lot of JWs are when all the normal emotions that you would express towards your family such as love, compassion, understanding, etc are out the window the minute they realise you are no longer 'one of them'. The sad thing is they seem to think this will bring me to my senses and return - it makes me want to run further away from the organisation.
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  troubled mind

  You got it right "emotional blackmail " . I have never understood the concept of threatening someone as a way to make them come running for back for more Chrisian love !
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  drwtsn32

  Ugh, sorry to hear about this. I wish there was something I could say that would make everything easier. Just stay true to yourself. Don't be too adversarial when it comes to their beliefs. Hopefully they won't completely shun you. But every JW is different.

  I know this is a difficult hurdle to get over, but it does get much easier with time.

  ((purp))
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  purplesofa

  Thank-you everyone for helping this person,

  She worte me back with results from the meeting.

  We should never underestimate the support this board gives

  It's all over - that's it as far as my family is concerned.
  
  The discussion with my father wasn't even in person - he wasn't going to waste any more of his time coming to see me in person - it was done by phone. He insisted on a decision tonite and when I called him he said I could have a bit more time to think then I had to ring him back. (I now know that he probably wanted the time to organise a witness - possibly my brother - to come and listen in to the call and take notes. I found that out near the end of the discussion when he said he was glad he recorded the call!).
  
  Anyway the gist of the whole thing is if we don't repent to the elders for our apostacy and start going back to meetings then he has no choice but to report us to the elders to be disfellowshipped. We haven't been going to meetings for nearly 4 years. He is also going to get onto my brother-in-law (husbands brother) in Brooklyn Bethel to report on us (he doesn't even like the guy) as we care for my husband's mother.
  
  I told Dad that we weren't going back to JW's so he said as far as he's concerned I'm a dead person. He kept saying that it is my choice to leave my family not my families choice. When I tried to reason with him he just told me to "go to pot". He kept saying, after I told him we were not going back, that this conversation was just wasting his time and his time is a lot more valuable than my time.
  
  So that's the outcome so far.
  
  I'll let you know if anything else happens. I really appreciate you putting my email on the board - the replies really helped me.
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  leavingwt

  Purps,

  Reading that just breaks my heart and makes me angry.

  I hate this destructive mind control cult. I wish every active "Bible Study" could read this story of how a cult Dad is treating his baby girl.

  It's disgusting beyond words.

  -LWT
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  Finally-Free

  He kept saying that it is my choice to leave my family not my families choice.

  That's a load of crap. You are exercising your legal right to freedom of/from religion. He is imposing sanctions because you are exercising your legal right.

  The thing to do now is sieze control of the situation. Make it clear that if they choose to shun you, than you will hold them to it. JWs are infamous for shunning family, and later resuming contact temporarily when they need money or some other favour. Then, once they get what they want they dump you like a sack of shit all over again. Never put up with it, or they will forever dangle the carrot of their worthless "affections" in front of you. And yes, such "affections" are worthless when they come from people who would trade family for a rancid cult.

  Never let them string you along. It only prolongs the pain.

  W
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  quietlyleaving

  thinking of you and hoping that your dad will calm down and not take things any further. Sometimes when they see you are not going to budge they give up but that only happens rarely.
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  I quit!

  I think you are right in saying that there is no point in trying to reason with him but it doesn't change the fact that you are right and have truth on your side. You and your husband and son need to remember that they only have what power you let them have over your lives. The catch is that that is the same power they have over your friends and family and unfortunatley many of them will allow them that control and treat you however they are told to treat you so unless you are prepared to go groveling back prepare yourselves for the unloving way you will be treated once word gets out.

  As far as any JC meeting they plan remember if you don't believe they are God's organization then where is the need to answer to them. If you decide to meet with them then let it be on your terms. What I mean by this is tell them you have nothing to hide and want to record the meeting so that there is a record of what was said by all present. Whether they know it or not their meeting are deeds of darkness and they don't want any light shining on them. Or you could tell them that you want to be brought before the congregation as mentioned in the Bible so you can present a defence of your position not in some back room hidden from public scrutany. Fat chance of them allowing any of the things I mentioned above to happen.

  I feel for you and your family and know how hard what you are going through is. It does get better over time and for me being truthful was always a better choice than pretending to believe in what I knew to be false just retain friends and family. "To thine own self be true"
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  Homerovah the Almighty

  Assholes come out of people that create their own set of laws in support of themselves .

  This loving father is in need of a severe ass kicking !
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  flipper

  Purps- Thanks for updating this from your friend. I want to say something to your friend.

  I'm so sorry that your father has lost his authentic personality and traded it in for the cult one. You have the love and support of everyone here on the board. Listen to what I'm going to explain carefully. Your father is acting as judge, jury, and executioner already as if he is Jehovah personified. Obviously you've known for years he likes power and control. Most elders do - in a mind control cult. I agree with the poster I Quit that you don't HAVE to go to the JC meeting if there is one - however what hard proof and evidence do they have that you are " apostate " ? So you looked at the web site. So what. Even witnesses do. Have you been teaching other witnesses different teachings ? Are you actively promoting a cult of your own in the kingdom hall ? I doubt it. You just have doubts and disagree with some things. Lots of witnesses do - but they are fearful to admit it out loud . And why ? Because the Jehovah's Witness cult uses " fear " and " guilt " to keep you silent and not standing up for yourself.

  If there are some witness family members you want to keep seeing - perhaps you should stand up for yourself, admit NO wrongdoing - because just because they SAY you are " apostate " doesn't mean you are. They are trying to scare you into submission. It's up to you what to do - you don't HAVE to meet with them, but if you do stand up for your innocence and tell them if they DF you on hearsay you'll sue them. Just a thought