Is it possible to truly love your hubby, wife, partner, lover etc and still

by mtsgrad 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    have an affair? Just curious

    mtsgrad

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Is it possible,to knowingly hurt your mate and still claim to love them?.............................Clint Eastwood...OUTLAW

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    No.

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    One of my friends had this issue with her now ex husband. He claimed to love her and his mistress. He was quickly kicked out of the house and served with divorce papers. 6 months later he claimed he was still in love with my friend. He realized he did NOT love the mistress......he loved how she made him feel. What a waste.

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Love isn't some abstract thing that exists apart from our actions--how we live constitutes love for others, or the lack thereof.

  • caliber
    caliber

    A fter researching women's sexuality for more than ten years , I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completelyerroneous."

    -Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity

    http://womensinfidelity.com/

    I f you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type "who would ever cheat . However, also like most other females , after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior ; but at the same timeyou can't stop cheating

    Women's relationships today follow

    a very predictable pattern:

    • They push men for commitment

    • They get what they want

    • T hey lose interestin sex

    • T hey become a ttracted to someone else

    • T hey start cheating

    • T hey become ang ry and resentful

    • T hey begin telling their partners that they need time apart

    • T hey blame their partners for their behavior... a nd eventually , aftermaking themselves and everyone around the m miserable for an indefinite, butusually , long period of time , t hey end their relationship s or marriage s .

    Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

    Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.

    Here's some food for thought though I am not saying I agree with anything said

    My simple answer would be NO

    Caliber

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Too often people have a selfish longing for someone and mistake it as love.

    W

  • yknot
    yknot

    Yes and no......

    No, if the relationship is normal and healthy.

    Yes, I could truly love my husband but cheat if I felt I needed to even the score for an indescretion committed by him. ( I am a good person but I am not a saint)

    Yes I could truly love hubby and cheat if he was physical incapacitated and insisted I fulfill physcial gratification with another but kept myself emotionally faithful to him. (NOW ...this said, this is only in theory as my own husband would NEVER suggest such a thing!)

    Yes, I could truly love hubby and screw around if I had low self-esteem and was trying to inflict more pain on myself.

    Do you still 'love' her or is it just a matter of emotional familiarity?

    I remember in couples therapy having to admit I loved the idea of us at the time more then I actually loved him (he was being a real selfish jackass)........ feelings of love vary throughout the relationship, they ebb and tide.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Odd Caliber.....

    I was always told once a man reaches 40 his filing for divorce was cut by 50%, while women at 40 were 50% more likely to file for divorce.

    A man usually has reached a financial stable point and kids are raised, a women has reached a boiling point and the kids are raised.

    Please broaden your horizons on women's research........

    Most women only leave or cheat when they feel abandoned, neglected or stretched beyond her limits..... like the C&W song says...

    "Lonely women make good lovers"

    I know it is difficult for many men but it is just about learning how to balance his attentions. He has a professional life, a family life, and they space that is his own...... if balanced not much goes wrong.

    Sending you good vibes to find a little piece of relationship happiness.

  • caliber
    caliber

    YKnot,

    I can see it comes dangerous to post a piece as food for thought

    Please broaden your horizons on women's research


    Sending you good vibes to find a little piece of relationship happiness.
    Heres what I said at the end of my quoted post


    Here's some food for thought though I am not saying I agree with anything said

    My simple answer would be NO

    Caliber

    Just to clarify and not (Knot) start any nasty rumors you know !..... .... LOL

    I think H40 and I have long past the mid-life crisis stage I could pretty much glide the rest of the way in peace !

    Caliber

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