Whats the deal. I moved to a new Congregation and wanted to slowly each weekend invite all the Brothers over to get to know them. The drill was we had a Barbie with red wine and music. How many invited us over? Just one. I mean people would say: "Yeah, come on over!" I felt like saying "WHEN, WHAT TIME!" Because they never would invite you. Some don't have money but fine, a can of Baked Beans and some toast would be fine, we just need some friends. Now my wife is depressed and I'm out so, they can stick it where the sun don't shine.
Being new we invited 30 brothers over for dinner. We got an invite once?!
by Witness 007 34 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
lisavegas420
this might come as a surprise to some...but it much worse if you're a single mother.
lisa
-
heathen
Yah for people that believe you should only associate with them , they sure know how to make themselves scarce . comeon over here and I'll give you a can of beans and toast ..LOL
-
Robert7
This was a problem for me too. We were rather social and had people over many times, but got rarely invited to other people's places. Over time this led me to not have any strong friendships.
The good side of this was I had virtually no good friendships to lose when I left the cult. If I had many good strong friends in, I quite possibly may have just stayed 'in' just to keep the friends. So they really helped me make my escape easier
-
treadnh2o
I'm in the same boat.
Moved to a new hall a four years ago. Have had over half the hall over for meals.
Been invited to just 2 families homes.
Just like Robert7- This makes my fade very easy. -
RR
Interestingly I just had this conversation with a customer of mine who recently left. Knowing I was a Bible Student, he approached me one rainy day and asked me for meeting times and place, to whoch he has been attending and enjoying himself for the past few months. He was fed up with the lack of love.
He is a single father with a young son of 7. He invited the friends over all the time for dinner, weekend BBQ's, as he tells it, he loved to have the friends over, not once did he ever get invited. Despite there being plenty of kids in the congregation, his son was never invited for play dates.
He later found out the reason. One day while in a carpool of JW's for service, mostly women, he expressed his thoughts, and they told him it was quite simple, "the brothers are afraid you'll steal their wives." He was young and good looking, actually he looks exactly like actor Stanley Tucci. Another problem is that while he is white, his son is only half white. his mother is black. But looks mostly black in a predominate white congregation.
So we have jealously, envy and prejudice as the ingredients.
You would think with new interest and new transplants the friends would embrace you and make you feel welcomed and at home. Such is often not the case.
RR
-
mouthy
This was my daughter ( that is out) complaint ..she said all the family's got together but the single Mums were never invited. ( Her hubby had been d/f for adultery 3 times) So you would think they would have been sorry for her. But someone told her the same thing ,wives were scared she would interest their husbands. TRUST??????
-
blondie
I can remember one elder who kept saying that. We had had him and his wife over several times. Finally, I said, "That would be great, I have my calendar here, let's pick a good time for both of us." I thought he was going to choke trying to get away and not have to commit. I continued, "Or is this one of those go and be well fed statements?"
I knew a longtime elder who was very hospitable. One day I was visiting his wife and he pulled me into the kitchen and asked why no one every returned his invites including people who had the money and time.......I had no answer. I finally realized it wasn't my gender, status in the congregation or financial situation.
This was one of my pet peeves and I pointed it out often and gave many specific examples. No answer........just more lies.
-
Odrade
Same experience. Many invites given, only one or two returned. Ever. Another thing that happened frequently is we would invite people, confirm the invite (the day before or sometimes in the morning, "yes, yes, we'll be there, looking forward to it,") then they would just not show up, or they would call and cancel 15 minutes before they were scheduled to arrive. No emergency, just not important I guess. Eventually we quit asking. Then we quit.
-
moshe
I tried having kids parties at our home back in the 70's. I had a 16mm projector and I would borrow kids movies and cartoons from our library. Everyone loved the parties, but then I realized that it was all a one sided thing. My family never got any invites and I guess it was because the local JW's were socially inept.