The burdensome load of a Jehovah's Witness - did you feel this way?

by jambon1 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • jambon1
    jambon1

    For me, my life as a Jehovah's Witness was tiring, depressing & miserable. Surrounded by negativity I felt utterly supressed & unhappy. To carry out my 'responsibilties' became very difficult. Meetings, field service, talk preperation as a ministerial servant, making up & tracking literature orders, etc, etc. All that in addition to earning a living & having 2 young kids. I was utterly miserable & looking back, I can't believe that I stayed around for so long. Did you feel the same way?

  • flipper
    flipper

    JAMBON 1 - I felt so loaded down having 3 young children and a psychotic JW wife who needed anti-depressant medication - but refused becaus she didn't believe in psychiatrists ! Having to take the " lead " and take care of not just 3 small children ( back in the 1980's ) , but also a childish wife - Yes- Many times I felt alone on an island. I know how you feel, was there, did that ! Life is better now though ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Purza
    Purza
    For me, my life as a Jehovah's Witness was tiring, depressing & miserable. Surrounded by negativity I felt utterly supressed & unhappy.

    I agree. Although it is difficult to know how you feel (depressed/miserable) when you are so deeply entrenched in the JW lifestyle. Especially because they make you believe your unhappiness is a good thing - because you are serving Jehovah. I am a million times happier since I left - and can't even imagine going back. Glad you were able to escape as well.

    Purza

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    Yes, yes. yes! The time investment and the burden of it all was just colossal. My poor husband always working on a part or out helping someone else, while I felt like a single parent at home. We were just talking about this today. Very difficult to work all day, help with home work, get ready for a meeting, come home eat dinner at 930pm and start it all again the next day. The worst it didn't make you feel good about yourself. I never thought I was doing enough and felt very judged all the time. Whew.

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    What gets/got to me is that -yes - you have all that burdensome load, and yet we were/are always told, "You are still not doing enough" If you are a pub - auxilliary pioneer, if aux reg aux, if reg aux, regular pioneer - and on and on and on. It becomes extremely depressing

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    This was basically how my JW life ended....

    "I did all this shit and Jehovah is still not happy with me? Screw him!"

  • Amha·’aret
    Amha·’aret

    I was sick of being constantly told to do more, do more, do more. It was thru the pages of the mags, elders and others privately as well as said from the platform. It was cleverly labelled as evidence of "loving Jehovah". But what about the widow's mite? Guess the bible writers left out the bit where Jesus ran up to the woman and yelled "IS THAT ALL YOU'RE GIVING? DO YOU NOT APPRECIATE ALL THAT JEHOVAH HAS GIVEN YOU? UNGRATEFUL WENCH!"

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    So true! The thing is, while we were "in it" we didn't realize how unhappy we really were; now that we're out, we can't believe what we put up with all those years...life does indeed get better the longer you are OUT!

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    I felt burdoned to the point I didn' care anymore. It had a majar role in my use of alcohol.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Yes, the days were a blur sometimes. Before cell phones, when my husband (an elder) came home from work, he'd get maybe 12 calls-through dinner, bedtime, etc.

    We hardly ever went anywhere, because we'd miss field service. If we did go, we'd feel guilty.For many years, the book study was in our home,and Saturday service (hubby elder)

    My house, car, book bag, clothes,needed to be super clean to be an example to all.(again-hubby elder)

    I always needed at least two answers for the meeting to be an example to all (hubby elder thing)

    My child always had to behave well, look very nice, have her own answers at WT study (see above)

    We ALWAYS went to the Khall for yard work or to clean to set an example for all (again-see above)

    I always felt I was never doing enough-I mean, look at the people with no legs, no arms, with medical conditions, etc. who pioneered while caring for invalids, etc.

    I wanted to go back to school but felt guilty and hubby said it would set a bad example (yep-elder)

    We never had any money because we needed to work at low-paying jobs that didn't interfere with meetings or week-end field service.

    Whew! Can't believe I did all that for over thirty years. Now, hubby and I are going on 60, have few happy vacation memories, are informally shunned (we are not df'd, but considered a danger to the congregation) and don't have retirement money.

    The one happy note-my daughter is in college, and is doing quite well. She will have a brighter future.

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