Comments You Will Not Hear at the 11-23-08 WT Study (September 15, 2008, pages (16-20)Review comments will be in red
WT material from today's WT will be in black
Quotes from other sources will be in quotes boxes
w = Watchtower
g = Awake
jv = Proclaimers book
Bible translations www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible
WT publications www.strictlygenteel.co.uk
WT child abuse www.silentlambs.org
Blood issue www.ajwrb.org
United Nations http://www.randytv.com/secret/unitednations.htm
"A threefold cord cannot quickly be tom in two."-Eccl 4:12
OPENING COMMENTS
I went to meetings for 50 years. I have seen many marriages end in divorce, including elders, MS, COs and DOs, and Bethelites. Other marriages have endured on paper with both parties living in separate locations. What about your area?
START OF ARTICLE
Q 1. Who united the first human pair in marriage?
FOLLOWING the creation of plant and animal life, Jehovah God formed the first man, Adam. God later caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and He used one of Adam's ribs to make for him a perfect helper. Upon catching sight of her, Adam said: "This is at last hone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." (Gen. 1:27; 2:18, 21-23) Jehovah showed his approval of this development, yoking the fast human pair in marriage and pronouncing his blessing upon them.-Gen. 1: 28; 2:24.
Was Eve a "perfect helper" or a complement?
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(Genesis 2:18) And Jehovah God went on to say: “It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.”
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Genesis 2:18 (Amplified Bible) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
Notice what the first and main definition of "complement" is in the Merriam dictionary. Thus Adam was incomplete or not perfect without Eve?
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complement
1 a: something that fills up, completes, or makes perfect
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/complement
Was using a rib, cloning?
Did Adam have feminine qualities before Eve was created; and God transferred them to Eve?
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*** w56 9/1 p. 530 par. 16 The Divine Origin of Marriage ***
(Gen. 2:21-23, NW) God had now divided the feminine characteristics from Adam and put them in this woman or Ishshah and thus produced the human sexes.
Q 2. How did Satan drive a wedge between Adam and Eve?
2. Sadly, before long the divine institution of marriage carne under attack. How so? A wicked spirit, who came to be called Satan, deceived Eve into eating from the only tree that was forbidden to the couple. Subsequently, Adam joined his wife in what amounted to a rebellion against God's rightful rule and good direction. (Gen. 3:1-7) When Jehovah asked the couple what they had done, it became obvious that their relationship was already strained. Adam blamed his wife, saying: "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave the fruit from the tree and so I ate."-Gen. 3:11-13.
How does the WTS use the sin of Eve to justify the secondary position of women in the congregation?
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*** w60 3/15 p. 192 Questions From Readers ***
The Law of Moses in various ways reminded Israelite women of the preferred position that men occupied before Jehovah so that they would not lose sight of man’s headship and fall into the error made by Eve. Thus the identifying physical mark that distinguished Jehovah’s covenant people was one that applied only to the male, namely, circumcision. Then again, the period of a mother’s uncleanness for giving birth to a baby girl was twice as long as for a baby boy. When Jesus miraculously fed the multitudes his apostles counted only the men present: “Those eating comprised about five thousand men, besides women and young children.” “Those eating comprised four thousand men, besides women and young children.”—Ex. 12:48; Lev. 12:2, 5; Matt. 14:21; 15:38.
Likewise in the Christian congregation, by means of the head-covering provision the theocratic position of the woman in relation to the man is stressed. In addition to its rich symbolic significance, it works in the interest of harmony and peace. It also serves to caution Christian women against exerting undue female influence and alerts Christian men against succumbing to it as did Adam, Samson, King Solomon and those in the congregation of Thyatira.—Rev. 2:20-23.
Q 3. Some Jews developed what mistaken view?
3. In the centuries since, Satan has used a variety of sly methods to spread marital discord. For instance, at times he has used religious leaders to promote an unscriptural view of marriage. Some Jewish leaders minimized God's standards, allowing husbands to divorce their wives for such trivial matters as over-salting food. But Jesus pointed out: "Whoever divorces his wife. except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery."-Matt. 19:9.
Who set up the Jewish law allowing men to divorce their wives for reasons other than adultery, the religious leaders?
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(Deuteronomy 24:1) 24 “In case a man takes a woman and does make her his possession as a wife, it must also occur that if she should find no favor in his eyes because he has found something indecent on her part, he must also write out a certificate of divorce for her and put it in her hand and dismiss her from his house.
Q 4. How is the marriage arrangement under attack today'?
4. Satan is still busy trying to rip apart the marital bond. Homosexual unions, unmarried couples living together and easy divorces prove that he is having much success in this regard. (Read Hebrews 13:1) As Christians, what can we do to avoid being influenced by the prevailing distorted view of marriage'? Let us consider some traits of a happy, successful marriage.
So the husband and wife have no control? Christians (only jws)
How does homosexual unions and unmarried couples rip apart the maritial bond than Jewish divorce for reasons other than adultery and polygamy?
Keep Jehovah in the Marriage
Q 5. What docs the expression "threefold cord" mean as regards marriage?
5. For a marriage to thrive Jehovah needs to be involved in the relationship. His Word says: "A threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two." (Eccl. 4:12) "Threefold cord" is a figurative expression. When this illustration is applied to marriage it includes the husband and wife, the first two strands, who are intertwined with the central strand, Jehovah God. Being united with God gives a couple the spiritual strength to cope with problems, and it is the key to achieving the greatest happiness in marriage.
"Jehovah needs to be involved"--Where's Jesus?
Only "to cope" not solve or succeed?
Q 6, 7. (a) 'What can Christians do to ensure that God is in their marriage'! (h) What does one sister value about her husband?
6. But what can a married couple do to ensure that their marriage is like such a three-fold cord? The psalmist David sang: "To do your will, O my God, I have delighted, and your law is within my inward parts." (Ps. 40:
Like David is a good example (OT). He was a polygamist and an adulterer.
Shouldn't there be a "warm personal relationship" with Christ?
7. If God's law is truly within our inward parts, such qualities as faith, hope, and love will be displayed and will help to nourish the marriage bond. (1Cor. 13:13) A Christian named Sandra, who has been married for 50 years, says: "What I most value in my husband are his spiritual guidance and advice and his love for Jehovah, which is stronger than his love for me." Husbands, could similar comments be made about you?
If God's law--OT or NT?
Christian (only jw)...Sandra (real name) why not pseudonym like in other articles?
love for Jehovah--where's the love for Jesus?
Have you ever heard it said that Adam ate of the fruit because he loved Eve more than God?
Q 8. What is needed to receive "a good reward" in marriage?
8. As a couple, do you keep spiritual matters and Kingdom interests to the fore in life"! Moreover, do you truly view your mate as your partner in serving Jehovah"! (Gen. 2:24) Wise King Solomon wrote: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work." (Eccl. 4:9) Indeed, a husband and wife must work hard in order to obtain "A good reward" in the form of a loving and lasting union that has God's blessing.
serving God--where's Jesus?
"Wise" King Solomon who had 1,000 wives and "left Jehovah" because of them?
Q 9. (a) What responsibilities do husbands have? (b) According to Colossians 3:19, how should a husband treat his wife?
9. An indication of whether God is in a marriage is the effort both husband and wife put forth to measure up to his requirements. Husbands have the primary obligation to provide for the material and spiritual needs of the household. (1 Tim. 5:8) They are also encouraged to he considerate of their wife's emotional needs. At Colossians 3:19, we read: "You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them." One Bible scholar explained that the expression "bitterly angry" involves "giving them either bitter words, or blows, and denying them their affection, care, provision, protection, and assistance." Clearly, such behavior would be inappropriate in a Christian household. A husband who exercises his headship in a loving way stimulates a readiness in his wife to be in subjection.
So does that mean that wives should expect their husbands to be able to support the family financially without having to work outside the home?
Who is this Bible scholar and why is the WTS not professional in identifying them?
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The New John Gill Exposition of the Entire Bible
Colossians 5:19
Husbands, love your wives… (See Gill on 5:25).
and be not bitter against them; turning love into hatred of their persons; ruling with rigour, and in a tyrannical manner; behaving towards them in a morose, churlish, and ill natured way; giving them either bitter words, or blows, and denying them their affection, care, provision, protection, and assistance, but using them as servants, or worse. All which is barbarous, brutish, and unchristian, and utterly unbecoming the Gospel.
http://westover.searchgodsword.org/com/geb/view.cgi?book=col&chapter=003&verse=019
Q 10. Christian wives should display what kind of attitude?
10. Christian wives who seek to keep Jehovah in their marriage must also measure up to God's requirements. The apostle Paul wrote: "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation." (Eph. 5:22, 23) Satan deceived Eve, promoting the lie that independence from God would bring lasting happiness. Clearly, the spirit of independence is now seen in many marriages. For godly women, however, submission to their loving head is not distasteful. They remember that Jehovah appointed Eve to be "a complement" of her husband, which God obviously considered to be an honorable position. (Gen. 2:18) A Christian wife who willingly cooperates with that arrangement is truly "a crown" to her husband.-Prov. 12:4.
Christian wives...wife--only jws
"spirit of independence"--only women?
So does that mean that women should not be submissive to unloving heads?
Q 11. What did one brother conclude has helped his marriage?
11. Another aid to keeping God in a marriage is for a couple to study God's Word together. Gerald, who has been happily married for 55 years, says, "the most vital ingredient in a successful marriage is reading and studying the Bible together." He adds, "Doing things together, especially spiritual things, draws mates much closer to each other and to Jehovah." Studying the Bible together helps the family to keep Jehovah's standards clearly in mind, deepens spirituality, and makes for continued progress.
How many jw couples did you know that studied together? Do jws study the bible or WT publications?
Gerald--real name used
I can say that 95% of the couples I knew did not study together, and that included WT conductors who deliberately did not.
Q 12, 13. (a) Why is praying together so important for a couple? (b) What other spiritual activities strengthen a marriage?
12. Happily married couples also pray together. When a husband 'pours out his heart' with specific requests unique to their circumstances, it cannot help hut strengthen the marriage bond. (Is. 62:8) For example, how much easier it would be to put aside any disagreement with your mate after you together beseech the Almighty for guidance and direction! (Matt. 6:14, 15) In line with the prayer, how fitting it would be for each mate to make it a resolve to help the other and to "continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely." (Col. 3: 13) Bear in mind that prayer demonstrates reliance on God. King David said: "To you the eyes of all look hopefully." (Is. 145: 15) When we look hopefully to God in prayer, we have fewer anxieties, knowing that he cares for us.'-1 Pet. 5:7.
How does the husband know what his wife wants to say to God? Should she pray on her own? Does she have to put a head covering on if she silently prays when her husband is at home?
Why use David who had many wives and still committed adultery with someone else's wife?
WIVES OF DAVID
Michal
Ahinoam
Abigail
Maacah
Haggith
Abital
Eglah
wives, concubines-unnamed-
Bath-sheba
13. Another key way to keep Jehovah in a marriage is by attending congregation meetings and by working together in the ministry. At our meetings, couples learn how to combat the "crafty acts" that Satan is using to divide families. (Eph. 6:11, ftn.) And a husband and wife who regularly work together in the ministry learn to ((become steadfast unmovable."- 1 Cor. 15:58.
How many wives did you know that actually went door to door with their husbands? My experience over 50 years was that the men went together in one car and the women and the children in another.
And the WTS says "regularly" not occasionally.
When Difficulties Arise
Q 14. What factors can contribute to marital stress?
14. Granted, the above suggestions may not sound new or original, but why not openly discuss them with your mate? See if some area merits additional attention in your marriage. The Bible acknowledges, though, that even those who have God in their marriage "will have tribulation in their flesh." (1 Cor. 7:28) Because of human imperfection, the bad influence of this lawless world, and the snares of the Devil, even in marriages of faithful servants of God can come under great stress. (2 Cor. 2:11) But Jehovah enables us to cope with such stress. Yes, it can be done. The faithful man Job lost his livestock, his attendants, and his children. Yet, the Bible says: "In all this Job did not sin or ascribe anything improper to God." -Job 1:13-22.
Yes, this suggestions are neither new or original and still after 50 years, jw couples rarely do them. Do you think that talking to strangers door to door, a woman listening to her husband's prayers, and going to meetings where the husband spends most if not all of his time after the meetings talking to others, will repair problems in a marriage?
OT example--Job
Where is Jesus?
Q 15. How can stress cause people to react, and how can mates best deal with such reactions?
15. Job's wife, on the other hand, said to him: "Are you yet holding fast your integrity? Curse God and die!" (Job 2:9) Indeed, when tragedies or other difficult circumstances arise, the ensuing emotional turmoil can cause one to act irrationally. Mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy," observes the wise man. (Eccl. 7:7) If your mate lashes out with hurtful "'words in response to hardship or "oppression," try to remain calm. Responding in kind might cause one or both of you to say something that will make the situation worse. (Read Psalm 37:8.) So overlook any "wild talk" that might result from frustration or discouragement. -Job 6:3.
OT example--Job's wife
Why an example of "wild talk" only by a woman?
Q 16. (a) How do Jesus' words found at Matthew 7: 1-5 apply to marriage? (b) \Why is balance so important in marriage?
16. Marriage partners need to have realistic expectations. One mate might note certain idiosyncrasies in the other and think, 'I can change him (or her).' With love and patience, you may be able to help your mate to make gradual improvement. Do not forget, though, that Jesus likened one who picks at another's minor failings to someone who sees a "straw" in his brother's eye but fails to notice a "rafter" in his own eye. Jesus urged us: "Stop judging that you may not be judged." (Read Matthew 7:1-5.) This does not mean that serious flaws should be ignored. Robert, married nearly 40 years, said: "Being open and frank with each other and then being willing to accept valid observations may require marriage partners to make changes in their life." So be balanced. Rather than fretting over the attributes you would like to see in your mate, learn to appreciate and enjoy the positive qualities that he or she has now.--Eccl. 9:9.
Robert--used real name
So what are minor failings? How many times can a husband hit his wife?
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*** w75 5/1 pp. 286-288 Questions From Readers ***
My husband sometimes beats me. Should I get a legal separation or divorce because of it?
For either husband or wife to abuse the other mate is obviously wrong; God’s Word condemns it. But the Bible also urges mates to remain together. Whether your home situation seems so extreme as to require a separation is something that you alone must decide.
Jehovah instituted marriage as a means of procreation and a source of happifying companionship. (Gen. 2:18-24) When the first couple rejected their Creator’s guidance and chose to go their own way, strife and unhappiness were introduced into their marriage. Foreseeing that resistance to headship by imperfect women and abuse of headship by imperfect men would occur in many marriages, God told the woman: “Your craving
will be for your husband, and he will dominate you.” (Gen. 3:16) It is sad but true that this domination has often involved cruelty, violence.
Because of the frequency of violent cruelty in marriage, authorities have formulated laws regarding the problem. For instance, Corpus Juris (Vol. 19, pp. 47, 48) says: “Continued acts of personal violence producing physical pain or bodily injury and a fear of future danger are recognized as sufficient cause for divorce in nearly all jurisdictions. It is not every slight violence committed . . . Actual violence to constitute ground for divorce
must be attended with danger to life, limb, or health.”
The matter is a complex one, however, for both the husband and the wife could be in the wrong and contributing to the problem. Some times when a wife says that her husband abuses her, he claims that he is merely defending himself or trying to chastise her. American Jurisprudence (Vol. 26, p. 641) observes: “Technically, any force other than that reasonably necessary to . . . coerce or control her in the governance of the family, as, for example, to control her in the exercise of unruly temper and make her behave herself, is an assault.”
If your husband were a Christian, then you would have recourse to the judicial committee of elders in the local congregation. By reasoning with him on God’s law they might aid him to appreciate the need to change his ways. The Bible says that strife, fits of anger and contentions are “works of the flesh” that can keep a person out of God’s kingdom. (Gal. 5:19-21; Matt. 5:22) So, anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger can be disfellowshiped.
But it seems that your husband is an unbeliever, so he may not be too concerned about God’s view. Still, you can seek the help of the elders. Of course, they are not trying to inject themselves into your marriage. But if your husband, perhaps in the interest of improving home conditions and enjoying life more himself, is agreeable to speak with them, the elders might be able to aid both of you.
Using reason and the Scriptures, they could tactfully consider why calmness and patience are so valuable and why heated anger causes so much unhappiness to all involved. (Prov. 14:17, 29; 22:24, 25) They could describe Christ’s pattern for husbands; it was one of loving concern, which obviously rules out wrathful abuse of one’s wife. (Eph. 5:25-33) A husband who follows this pattern will make life more pleasant for both himself and his wife. Also, the elders might be able to help both of you to examine yourselves to see where you can improve. Does perhaps your husband’s use of alcohol give rise to the violent abuse? (Prov. 23:29, 30) Is he possibly letting frustrations on his job carry over into the home? Are you, the wife, responsible? Do you nag or provoke him? “A leaking roof . . . and a contentious wife are comparable.” (Prov. 27:15; 19:13; 21:9; 25:24) Do you fan the flames during arguments, instead of keeping calm? “Love . . . does not become provoked.”—Ps. 139:23, 24; 1 Cor. 13:4, 5; compare Ephesians 4:26.
But what if, despite such aid, your husband still is violent? Does the Bible say that a wife must remain with her husband despite beatings and danger to her health and life? We read: “A woman who has an unbelieving husband, and yet he is agreeable to dwelling with her, let her not leave her husband.” (1 Cor. 7:13) Sometimes a Christian wife might finally conclude that her violently abusive husband is not “agreeable to dwelling with her.” Such a wife might feel that as a last resort she must get a legal separation or divorce for her own protection. In this connection, note the Bible’s counsel: “A wife should not depart from her husband; but if she should actually depart, let her remain unmarried or else make up again with her husband.”—1 Cor. 7:10, 11.
Since, in the final analysis, it is the wife faced with such a difficult marital situation who must decide personally what to do, here are some serious aspects to weigh: If you remain with him, might you in time be able to help him to become a Christian? (1 Pet. 3:1, 2) Will a divorce or separation limit your association with your children or hinder your teaching them about God? What of your own sexual need? A divorce obtained when there is no basis in immorality would not free you to remarry, so will passion be a problem? (Matt. 19:9) Will you be forced to get a secular job, thus exposing yourself to new pressures and problems? Would such a job consume time now used in spiritual activities? Yes, separation may solve some problems, but it usually brings on others.
Some of these aspects were involved in the case of a woman in Wisconsin. A number of years after they were married, her husband began drinking heavily on weekends when he was not working as a lumberjack. Influenced by alcohol, he would often become enraged and violent. About that time she became one of Jehovah’s witnesses and tried to be an exceptionally good wife, not argumentative or demanding. Still, many Fridays when she and the children returned from Christian meetings he slapped her, kicked her and punched her arms. At such times she was forced to flee the house. She and the children spent many nights in the barn’s haymow, keeping the entrances barricaded with bales of hay until her husband was sober again.
“Why have you stayed with him?” the children asked. She said it was because she loved them and did not want to leave them, also because their father was providing for the family, which she could not do. Never did she tell them that she did not love their father, but explained that knowing the Bible’s truth enabled her to endure and to be a happy Christian. The abuse continued for more than twenty years. Now she has the joy of
seeing ten of her eleven children serving Jehovah, and her husband has quit drinking, has improved in controlling his temper and accompanies her to Christian meetings. True, such may not be the outcome in all cases. But this account illustrates aspects that you can consider in evaluating your situation.
The essence of the Bible’s counsel, then, is that marriage mates should strive to remain together despite marital problems resulting from human imperfection. If, though, your circumstances appear to be so dangerous or severe that something must be done, then you must decide whether to seek protection through legal action or not.
Q 17, 18. When troubles mount, where can you turn for help?
17. Tests may come when circumstances in life change. A couple may face challenges when they have children. A mate or a child may become seriously ill. Aging parents may need special care. Grown children may move far away from home. Other changes may result from caring for theocratic privileges and responsibilities. All these changes can bring some stress and anxiety to a relationship.
What are jw women told to do if their husbands have "privileges" that interfere with family relationships? What comes first the wive or the congregation? I have seen at least 50 marriages end because the husband was always out helping everyone but their own family.
18. If the strain on your marriage makes you feel that you have reached the breaking point, what can you do? (Prov 24:10) Do not give up! Satan would like nothing better than for one of God's servants to abandon pure worship. He would be even happier if a couple did so. Hence, do all you can to make sure that your marriage remains a threefold cord. The Bible contains many accounts of ones who remained faithful despite severe trials. For example, on one occasion, David poured out his heart to Jehovah, saying: "Show me favor, O God, because mortal man ... keeps oppressing me." (Ps. 56: 1) Have you ever felt oppressed by "mortal man"? Whether the stress that you feel is coming from a distance or from someone else to you, remember: David found the strength to endure, and so can you. "I inquired of Jehovah, and he answered me," said David.
"Out of all my frights he delivered me." -Ps. 34:4.
God's servants--only jws
abandon pure worship--abandon the WTS
And once again an OT example--David, and what trial was he under when he had sex with Bathsheba and arranged for her husband to be killed?
Further Blessings
Q 19. In what way can we ward off Satan's attacks?
19. In this time of the end, marriage partners need to "keep comforting one another and building one another up." (1 Thess. 5: 11) Do not forget, Satan maintains that our loyalty to Jehovah is based on selfishness. He will use any means possible, including disrupting a marriage, to break our integrity to God. To ward off Satan's attacks, we need to put our full trust in Jehovah. (Prov. 3:5, 6) Paul wrote: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me." -Phil. 4:13.
time of the end--1799?
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Creation 1927 p319
There are two important dates here that we must not confuse, but clearly differentiate; namely, the beginning of “the time of the end” and the beginning of the presence of the lord. “The time of the end” embraces the period from 1799 A.D to the time complete overthrow of Satan’s empire and the establishment of the kingdom of messiah. The time of the Lord’s second presence dates from 1874 and is during the latter part of the period known as “the time of the end”.
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*** w98 5/1 p. 14 par. 6 Who Will “Get Away Safe”? ***
However, during the time of the end, which started in 1914, the identity of this spiritual nation once again became clear.
So jws don't trust in Jesus? I could not find that phrase clearly applied to Jesus on the WT-CD.
Q 20. What blessings come from keeping God in one's marriage?
20. The blessings that result from having God in a marriage are many. This has certainly proved true of Joel and his wife of 51 years. He says: "I thank Jehovah constantly for my wife and our happy companionship. She has been an ideal partner." What is their secret? "We have always endeavored to show kindness, patience, and love to each other." None of us will do that perfectly in this system of things. Yet, let us work hard to apply Bible principles and keep Jehovah in our marriage. If we do, then our marriage will be like "a threefold cord that cannot quickly be torn in two."-Eccl. 4:12.
Joel--used real name
So where is Jesus in their marriage?
Do You Recall?
·What does it mean to have Jehovah in a marriage?
·What should marriage partners do when difficulties arise?
·How do we know when God is in a marriage?
CONCLUDING COMMENTS
Once again the WTS uses OT examples for Christians and doesn't mention Christ.
I think about my contemporaries in the WTS who married, only 1/4 are still married.
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"U.S. Religious Landscape Survey 2008" by The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life surveyed 35,000 people and presents findings on divorce/separation rates. (http://religions.pewforum.org/reports as at April 20 2008) The following graph from the report shows the Witness rate of 14% was slightly above the U.S. average of 12%.
http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/divorce.htm
Love, Blondie