If you cheat on me, I will forgive you, but not if you leave Jehovah

by Hiddenwindow 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hiddenwindow
    Hiddenwindow

    When I told my wife that I no longer believe the WT is the Truth, she started crying and said that it was easier for her to forgive me if I am unfaithful to her than if I leave the WT. I am sure now: being a Witness is a form of mental illness.

  • yknot
    yknot

    She is comparing the only other thing she can think of that you could do that would hurt her.

    Bottom line...... She is hurt and feeling betrayed right now.

    I will let others digress down the road of you not being in the NS to share and help in educating the resurrected........

  • halcyon
    halcyon

    well think about it: thousands of talks and articles over a lifetime that deal with infidelity, and that the innocent spouse has a decision to make, whether to forgive or not -- and we all know forgiveness is the "godly" thing to do, because "Jehovah hates a divorcing."

    And over that same lifetime, there is not ONE talk or article that suggests that an "apostate" can or should be forgiven. Instead, every talk and article is about how they should be "hated."



  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    She wouldn't forgive you for cheating. She may stay with you, but she won't really ever forgive you. Or forget.

    I always told my kids to find a man that loved Jehovah more than them. Now I tell them the man should love them more than anything in the world.

    Psycho religion.

  • oompa
    oompa

    hiddenwindow.....trust me...i know the feeling......on the bright side it could be taken as a go-ahead to go out and get some fine poontang!....................oompa

  • Mary
    Mary
    When I told my wife that I no longer believe the WT is the Truth, she started crying and said that it was easier for her to forgive me if I am unfaithful to her than if I leave the WT. I am sure now: being a Witness is a form of mental illness.

    It's very unfortunate, but your wife has been brainwashed into believing that there is no greater sin than abandoning your belief that the Craptower Society is "the Truth". Committing adultery is peanuts compared to 'apostasy'----after all, look at what King David did......Leaving 'the Truth' earns you a one-way ticket to Hell via Armageddon. Your wife believes that you are going to die at Armageddon and she'll never see you again for all eternity.......so from her point of view, adultery would definitely not be as bad....all you'd have to do is say "sorry", repent, endure 6 months of private or public reproof and continue on. Truly sad.

  • johnnyc
    johnnyc

    My wife made a very similar statement to me recently. I found out that she will not be with me if I am not a JW. What is odd is that I was inactive for many years, but recently when I said if I get DF'd I will not come back, she told me that it will be the end for us - we have been married for 12 years! - and we get along fine otherwise. In fact, even worse, I had to forgive her about 6 years ago for adultery with someone who molested her as a child - apparently he had some control over her (a "brother" in the hall - he was 20 and she was 12). She has been a full time pioneer the last few years, but talk about unreal....I was loyal to her even when I had an out, and she is willing to leave me over something like that. To top it off, we just had a baby boy four months ago. Now that she said that I don't think I can ever make it work. What do you guys think????

    What is really odd is that the society and elders would tell her how wrong that is, and that she would need to stay my wife no matter what - so who's fault is it?? In fact, if she were to try and remarry (without me doing so first or "freeing" her) she would have a committee and could be DF'd. Do people just take their own improper viewpoints too far?

  • Sarah Smiles
    Sarah Smiles

    That is the problem with many marriages and the reason why people are not close!

    You expressed your free will and trusted her enough to share your thoughs with her and she turned on you!

    How could you attend a place where you do not think it is the truth!

    You would think she would have said something else beside the WT?

    Also, have you been unfaithful? It sound like you have been! But for her to mention it again well that’s not forgiving at all that throwing it in your face.

    Do you know how hard it is for a woman to forgive unfaithfulness? It next to impossible!

    Tell her you are still the same person but it is a personal choice to leave the WT!

    JOHNNYC; You have more problems than Hiddenwindow! Wew, Your wife really does have problems! And a new baby in the mixture is not a good sign! Your wife's problem is something that you can not hide or think it will go away.

  • Hiddenwindow
    Hiddenwindow

    Sarah said:

    Also, have you been unfaithful? It sound like you have been!

    No. I have not. At no point have I suggested that I was... Don't let your Witness credulous self jump to conclusions so fast.

  • cyberguy
    cyberguy

    There are WT articles and letters to elders that JWs use to justify leaving their mate. Their ground for separation or divorce is “spiritual endangerment,” but of course, you cannot find this “threat” anywhere in Scriptures. Unfortunately, I have seen elders actually encourage separation or divorce when there is a DFing, regardless of the underlying factors. However, if there is a hint of “apostasy” from the person who has been DFd (of course, merely questioning doctrines and the authority of anyone in the structure constitutes “apostasy” in the JW-system), then the person disenfranchised is going to face some troubled times.

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