Anybody shun you that you wish wouldn't? (page 2)

never really been shunned except for a bank teller that ignored me once.... that cost her... i complained about the rudeness to the Branch manager (I know her in-laws) the the Teller was gone within 2 weeks.

Most of my JW freinds never kept up with me anyway if they moved or I did. I guess you need freinds to get shunned. Most of my JW relatives never kept up with us either.

Hill

boyzone

Yes. my friends.

They come into where I work all the time after field service (I work in a coffee shop). They all act as if I'm a total stranger to them despite me being part of their lives for over 20 years. They can go elsewhere for their coffee but they choose to come to where I work. Why do they do that?

They don't look at me, speak to me (unless giving their order) or smile at all. That hurts. In fact it hurts like hell some days and I end up in tears in the kitchen.

They are so cruel.

garybuss

You wrote: Anybody shun you that you wish wouldn't?

Nope!

ex-nj-jw

I'm with finally free - if they shun me that just lets me know they are not worth my time or energy. To hell with them!

nj

anewme

Hello everyone. Thought I'd stop by for a little support this morning.
I was a witness for about 35 years. I have been free now for 7 years.
I have been hurt by the shunning by friends and family so much that I left
town and took refuge in a town 10 miles to the south.

I took retail positions in this new town and managed to avoid the occasional
witness who would come in to shop. I fled to the back and busied myself until
they left. But now as manager of my new fine store I have decided that enough
is enough. I can no longer run from this shaming tactic. I must meet it head on.

My goal will be to be poised and peaceful and retain the higher state of grace
if I undergo any discomfort in the presence of former friends or associates of the religion.
I will make a place in my heart and mind, having mercy knowing that they are under
fear of severe penalties from God and man if they violate the order to speak or fraternize with me.
I will treat them with the same courtesy I would any of my customers.

This is all new to me and will require real courage because I flush red very easily and
embarrassment and shame are not feelings I tolerate too easily.
I am PROUD of my accomplishments post-dfing (I could easily have killed myself)

I married a very nice non drinking, non smoking, non religious man.
We both work full time.
We bought our first home last month.
I have just been promoted manager of my beautiful store in my new town.

Mine is a very modest life, but one I am very fond of now.

Thank you for reading.

And thank this website and all of you for being here.

-Anewme

undercover

I'm not DFd/DAd so for the most part I'm not "shunned" as far as the strict JW defiinition of shunning goes. Most people are still friendly and cordial on the occassions that I see them.

However, there is a difference between how friendly they were before and how friendly they are now. It's hard to pinpoint exactly and its more of a vibe that I get than having hard proof. I sense almost a fear of having to associate with me even though they put on a happy face and act nice.

On the rarest of times that I have been shunned, it has been more amusing than anything, but one elder who I liked and respected has taken to shunning me to the point that he refused to speak to me at a JW wedding we were both at. Out of all the elders, I figured he would be the one to act most Christ-like and want to keep an open line of communication. Instead, he saw me coming and turned his back and walked away. I finally cornered him later just to make sure it wasn't my imagination and sure enough, once trapped, he said a curt hello in response to my greeting and then excused himself immediately. At the time I was a bit hurt that he felt that much dislike for me that he acted as he did. That was some time ago however and while I still remember his actions, I've come to the realization that its his loss, not mine. He's the one who pushed me away. If he wants to act afraid and lose friends in the process, so be it. Life's too short to worry about people who purposely push you away.

AK - Jeff

Yep! My best friend for most of 40+ years, who is also my first cousin. We have [or should I say, I have] tried to mend these torn fences on a few occasions. Those attempts always end with him just dropping out of sight as if I never existed. I hate the religion for that. I can't tell you how many tears I have shed over this loss of my best friend. Jeff

Gregor

It has been so long and I no longer live in the area I was known in. I don't miss one of those pitiful souls. I was not a fader, more like a pipe bomb, and my apostasy was well known. There are a couple of JW family members who are getting quite elderly and on the rare occasion I inquire of their health, maybe 2 or three times a year, they are as normal as can be and we usually have a nice chat (phone).

If a former JW 'friend' tracked me down and called I would assume they were looking for the real truth and would be happy to assist them.

BurnTheShips

Only one or two and not in an obvious way. The only reason these know is because they know family members that are still in. I removed myself from the scene. Moved away and faded out. I bump into one or another from time to time. I don't know what they know about me, but it seems that they think I am still active in another congregation in the area I moved to. Since I don't owe anyone explanations, I do nothing to disabuse them of the notion. It has been about 18 months now since I last set foot in a KH. Not much of a fade, more like a disappearance.

BTS

Anybody shun you that you wish wouldn't?

asilentone

hillbilly