we havent really met properly on this board yet but I hope you stick to your guns and kick this bloke to the curb,
I'm curious as to why he'd want you to discuss this with the elders, would have thought he'd be needing to turn himself in for his unbecoming conduct, it is his bad behaviour that needs to be addressed, call me paranoid but he wouldnt want to be discussing your lack of subjection with them?
sounds to me like he needs to go on an anger management course and you need to find someone who loves and respects you for the person you are, and not the person theyd like to *mould* you into, please dont sell yourself short and settle for second best, you sound really nice and you deserve better than that
nelly
Unevenly Choked
by RedhorseWoman 13 Replies latest social relationships
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nelly
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waiting
Hey nelly,
Seven dumped the guy for good a while ago. Tough woman.......
It's amazing what men and women will do against each other and towards other persons, such as children. It's also amazing what they will put up with - for the sake of religion, reputation, love, family pressure, etc.
Takes a lot of courage to walk away. No matter what the person's age or circumstance. Some persons never seem to free themselves of their circumstances - or they find themselves back in the same situations time and time again.
Therapy works wonders for persons of this background.
Glad Seven set such a fine example for us
waiting
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Tigger
Oh Seven !! you run girl and dont look back. People who need to resort to violence to get their point across just arent emotionally mature, perhaps thats the way they learned to deal with things from their parents, whatever the reason is you dont have to be anyones punching bag. If every time your together you fight then there seems to be an underlying problem ( probably on his side by the sound of it) that isnt been discussed and the tension or frustration is resurfacing in other more mundain things. Couples can argue about things...if we all had the same opinions what a boring world this would be, but to lash out physically to get your point across is just showing a lack of self control (maybe you should drag him to the elders! I know what Im talking about, Ive experienced it first hand. First you justify their behaviour by blaming yourself..."I provoked it" ..."Im not good enough"...then you tell your self so actually might deserve it.
After a while you lose your self respect and you lose respect for them...try loving someone you have no respect for...it doesnt work.
He needs to get some counciling or something but thats not your problem either. Hes got to recognise and admit he has a problem and then do something about it.
Messing up and then doing the flowers,chocolate, Im sorry routine just doesnt cut it. Hes not sorry, hes just sucking up and as long as you put up with it that will be the standard of the relationship. -
nelly
yep its not always easy to walk away, if this is a past event I'm glad 7o9 managed to get out of it,
I picked up a friend the other week who's boyfriend had knocked the crap out of her, by the time I took her back to her house she had already started to justify his actions and had decided she's provoked the situation, I was overjoyed...not... to hear that she is now thinking about getting a place with him as that will make things better...I can only guess at the longterm outcome, (but he's a nice bloke cos he doesnt hit her as much as the last one, pleeeease)
luv deb x