Ashi,
First of all I knew I couldn't do it all alone so I went to the Dr and briefly explained how I had been raised in a cult and had lost every friend and family member as a result of my escape.
Prozac has done wonders for me allowing me enough peace of mind to improve myself.
The next healthiest thing I have done for myself is to get out and stay out of organized religion and for lack of better words "deprogramming and educating" myself is what has helped me.
After a few months of that I started moving forward with my life making new friends and experiencing new things. This was scary at first but I knew I had to do it for survival.
Getting involved in the community has really opened my eyes too.
I went to my county extension office and found a club for me.
There is one for every one, even couples can find something to do together.
When I look back on this year I cant get over what all I have experienced and accomplished.
I will try to list some of what I have read and done this year.
I read the New Testament
Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassen
Crisis of Conscience
In Search of Christian Freedom both by Ray Franz
Codependency No More
Toxic Faith
Age of Reason by Thomas Paine
A History Of God by Karen Armstrong
There’s many more but these helped me break the fear, guilt, anxiety pattern I was in.
I started donating blood on a regular basis.
I volunteer at my son’s school
I go to school functions
I’ve done many fund raisers and charity work through the my club such as
Cystic Fibrosis walk
Say No to Drugs program
Haven of Hope
Needline
Red Cross
For the Children’s hospital, making much needed preemie diaper shirts, caps and burial gowns.
Visit the Nursing homes sing, bring pets, decorate the home and more.
Relay For Life
Birthdays
Valentines Day
Halloween
And now Christmas
I guess you could say doing the opposite of the alienating tactics of this organization but keeping my honor, integrity and morals is helping me.
I am not doing these things to apease an angry God.
I am doing it for me and my fellow man.
I could go on and on.
The point I want to make is the more you learn and get involved helping people and making friends you will actually see results and happier you will be.
This world is full of wonderful people unlike what we were taught.
I did feel uncomfortable and out of pace at first.
This did not come easy .It takes effort.
After a few months of this, when I go to town I recognize people and say hi and chat.
I am starting to feel like I belong.
I know you don't want to but you should start at a Dr office.
The help you get there helps you to have the strength for the rest and keeps life from being overwhelming.
You have to make the effort to rebuild a life that you want to live.
Sorry this is so long!
Ranchette
