Here is the gist of things: Elders came to my home asking if charges of adultery against me are true (going through divorce). I state to them that I wish not to discuss matters with them since this is a personal matter and if in the future I change my mind I will seek them. They state it is a serious matter and have some circumstantial evidence and will like me to defend myself before a judicial committee. I say no and and say it's ridiculous to have a hearing without the accused. I have not been to meeting since 2004 so I can't be viewed as a threat, they have been coming to my door for a year and a half but I have not encountered them till now. One of the elders that visited me is good friends with my ex's father who is an elder in another congregation. I feel this is just a personal vandetta because of the close assocition this elder has with my ex father in law, if not why bother with me and ask me to defend myself. Can they have a judicial committee without me? What can I do to prevent them from DF me? The only reason I care about being Df'd is because my whole family are still JW's and tolerate the fact I don't go to meetings don't want to make things difficult for them. Thanks for your help.
Need help with current JW position's on DF'g
by Grouper 11 Replies latest jw friends
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BabaYaga
Oh, yes indeed. Consider yourself disfellowshipped as of now. They were asking for you to defend it, if you cannot or will not defend it, they take the stance that it is true.
You're outta there. -
Grouper
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/149040/1.ashx This threat about me to give more inside Can elders be sued for slander if they persist on this committee crap. I know of an ex-elder who is now in city council that threaten the elders with a law suit if he was DF'd 8 years ago and nothing was ever done.
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The Lone Ranger
Yes they can DF you... most certainly. If you aren't guilty and you don't wanna get DFed its best to defend yourself. If you are guilty and still don't wanna get DF lie about it.
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Honesty
Got an attorney?
Get one.
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garybuss
The elders can't make good family be bad. The elders are not a threat to me if I have good family. If the family is a bad family, then who cares if they shun me? I don't want people in my life who even "might" shun me if they are told to do so by a third party. People who use the threat of shunning to control me don't meet my minimum standards for required character ethics needed to associate with me.
I'm happy if mean people with bad characters are identified and removed from my life. When they're all gone, that only leaves nice people with good character in my life. That has made for a good life for me. No way do I wish it could be different.
I've found that the best thing between me and a mean spirited Jehovah's Witnesses is distance . . . I've found 100 miles to be a good minimum number to work with. -
OnTheWayOut
I know of an ex-elder who is now in city council that threaten the elders with a law suit if he was DF'd 8 years ago and nothing was ever done.
You can write a Doc Bob letter threatening actions. It may just work for you.
http://www.docbob.org/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=6
Take as much of that letter as you can and tailor it to your situation.Otherwise, yes they can have a judicial committee without you. Flimsy evidence is
stronger if you don't show up to deny it. I am not suggesting that you do, that is up
to you. But don't think that lack of proof will stop them. Legal action might, but
nothing short of that will work. -
Eyes Open
If that works for you, garybuss, that's good, but I feel differently. I'm not currently DF'ed and have been told by a very close family member that they would shun if me if I was. This hurts, but I know it is not because this person doesn't care about me. It's because this person is under the control of a destructive mind controlling cult. It may mean the person is unable to be "good family" to me if it did happen, but I haven't given up hope yet. :)
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blondie
Many charges need 2 eyewitnesses to df a person.
In the case of adultery, if 2 jws have observed someone of the opposite sex stay overnight with you unchaperoned, that's all they need.
Strong circumstantial evidence, such as pregnancy or evi-
dence (testified to by at least two witnesses) that the
accused stayed all night in the same house with a person of
the opposite sex (or in the same house with a known
homosexual ) under improper circumstances, is acceptable. -
Finally-Free
The elders can't make good family be bad. The elders are not a threat to me if I have good family. If the family is a bad family, then who cares if they shun me? I don't want people in my life who even "might" shun me if they are told to do so by a third party. People who use the threat of shunning to control me don't meet my minimum standards for required character ethics needed to associate with me.
Absolutely. For someone to be a good associate requires much, much more than a blood relationship.
As to whether they can DF you, yes. It's their club, so they can do what they want.
W