fruitcake - yes!

by lauralisa 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa
    Fruitcake for the holidays!

    One cup water
    one cup sugar
    four eggs
    two cups of dried fruit
    one tsp baking soda
    one tsp salt
    lemon juice
    nuts
    one bottle of whiskey

    Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat!

    Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one tsp of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the dried fruit get stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsitity. Next sift two cups of salt or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of the sugar or somethin. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

    Rum may be subsdtitutied for the whieskey, althouth, it doens't make much of a difference where you throw the bowl!

    Happy whatever to all you fruits!

    If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off
  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    what a waste of whiskey!

    ~ §¦¡† \|/®¡§†§ ؃ †#ë §|<¥ ~

  • jayhawk
    jayhawk

    Here is a picture of my fruitcake!

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

    Jeremy's Hate Mail Hall Of Fame.
    http://hometown.aol.com/onjehovahside/ and [email protected]

  • duped
    duped

    Bitter Mango,

    Did you read the recipe? Lauralisa....lol. What is strain your nuts? Sounds like something my dad did when he lifted something too heavy. :)

    Duped

    "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." Mary Chapin-Carpentar

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    yes, i did :P:P

    AND THEN, after i posted, i read the rest of the post ;)

    and then :O:O i came here and saw that someone pointed it out :)

    then what?! nothing. i've made a promise to never again correct my mistakes. i will leave them for all to see. so i feel little. and it will help me learn a lesson.

    i'll be back in a sec

  • waiting1
    waiting1

    LOL.....my Aunt Sis would sit at the Christmas dinner table (like after she made a fruitcake), and when the mashed potatos were passed to her, she'd take a big spoonful, thump them onto her plate, lick the spoon spankin' clean, plop it back into the bowl....and then pass it to the next person.

    She was a sloppy fruitcake.

    waiting

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    There were only a very fruitcakes ever made in all of man's history and they were made centuries ago. Due to the fact that fruitcakes have a half-life of several thousand years, these few fruitcakes have been mailed around the world at Christmas for centuries.

    The REAL recipe for fruitcakes was lost some time in the Middle Ages.

    Farkel
    Serving Jehovah by Avoiding Fruitcakes

    "I didn't mean what I meant."

  • bitter mango
    bitter mango

    duped, THIS is what happens when you try to fix a mistake before anyone can point it out >>> . http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=10031&site=3#119368

    i am ready to confess what my silly question was (and yes, i remember very well) ... *sigh* i asked why adam and eve wouldn't have had belly buttons. i know, i know.

    ~ §¦¡† \|/®¡§†§ ؃ †#ë §|<¥ ~

  • duped
    duped

    bitter mango,

    don't feel bad. i've done stuff like that. that post link was funny though. :) i agree though that it would have been a waste of good whiskey had it gone into the fruitcake.

    duped

    "Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." Mary Chapin-Carpentar

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Hi Bitter Mango,

    LOL!!! And I thought I was gonna have to make a disclaimer statement: "Warning! Do not try this at home..."

    Farkel: I actually made a fruitcake once. I swear. I did it as a joke, though. It was a "gift" to someone. I have the recipe (not the one posted above). Do ya want it? Just let me know.

    love, lauralisa

    If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off

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