Pro's and Con's of DAing myself. (page 2)

OUTLAW

First of all,Farkel is Nuts!..((Farkel))..LOL!!............Actually Farkel is Right!!..Just walk away..They have all the Authority you Give them..Give them Nothing!!............... Clint Eastwood ...OUTLAW

boyzone

Lance

I understand where you're coming from. I too DA'd and felt at the time it was absolutely the right decision for me. My immediate family had all left and I was the last one standing. My elderly parents were still witnesses and I read the letter to them before posting to get their opinion on whether they would shun me. They both said they would NEVER do that regardless of what the elders said, which was a relief.

At the same time I was being hounded by the local elders on whether I had joined another church or not. I was being watched all the time which was becoming intolerable, so DAing was a way for me to avoid a JC and being disfellowshipped.

Like you, I also felt a real deperate need to definately seperate myself from an organization that had stolen the best years of my life and betrayed me. I live in a small village and was well known as a Witness by all. I did not want ANYONE to associate me with that organization again.

So if you feel strongly that DAing is the right thing to do for your conscience, then I would first talk it through with your dad or any other family that might be affected, it might have a bearing on your decision.

Big Tex

The only benefit to disassociating yourself is to make a statement, a symbol of the path you've chosen. Similar to someone who has their name legally changed. I did have my name legallly changed because it meant something to me. I was saying to myself and to the world I was no longer connected legally, morally or ethically to my father. Doing so gave me closure on the past and helped me move forward.

But there is a price for disassocating yourself, as you're well aware.

If the symbolic gesture is meaningful to you, then do it. If not, then I agree with drwtsn32, and not play by their rules. You're out now, you're free and to hell with their outlook.

I would suggest trying on the idea and letting it settle for a couple of months. Also try on the idea of letting go of that world and their terminology and not defining yourself by their idea of right and wrong.

If it means that much to you to do it, you'll know. The fact that you're asking shows it's not the right time.

Just my tuppence.

Chris

sacolton

Disassociate! It feels great! You can vent all you want in a letter and it's very theraputic.

wobble

Lance, I agree with the above comments,what I have found satisfying is ,if a Dub does make contact to say that one thing that does give me a problem is this.....and then leave them with one of the great questions (just one or they smell an "apostate") from the "Silver Bullett" thread.They don't come back,maybe it sows a seed and they have to see in their heart why you are no longer a dub. Win-Win situation as I see it,no D'F or D'A but maybe achieve the impossible and get a Dub to think!

All the best for your free future!

Kind regards,

Wobble

Amha·aret

As you probably know, these days they make the same announcement whether you DA or are DF'ed. So in their eyes, there is no difference in leaving because you can no longer stand their dishonesty and poor ethics or if you run off with your best mate's Mrs! Sick, isn't it? The congregation will have no idea what the reasons behind your announcement are but, being the judgemental group that they are, will no doubt think the worst ie that you've done something immoral not the WT.

DA'ing is not something you can undo so don't do it until you're 100% sure its the right thing for you to do. I've thought about doing it myself more than a few times but I agree with what the other posters have said about this showing that they still have some level of authority and control over you. Don't give them the satisfaction!

Poztate

Lancelink.... I was going to add something to this post but it has for the most part already been said. I have been a fader for over 25 years and treat the Elders and the past like a non event.

I think that bugs them MORE than stating in writing that you want to be DA'ed. A few years ago an Elder came to the door because of a "program" they had to reactivate people.

He did all the "all the signs show, and time is short" stuff to try to "scare me" into reactivating. I just smiled and said I was quite happy and I was sure things would work out in the end.

no more kool aid

I think it they are not bothering you, then just leave it the way it is. I am in the same boat with parents and family. For me though I am not willing to meet with them or answer any questions. I refuse to stress over this another minute of my life. so if push comes to shove I guess it will be official.

lancelink

Thank you for all the opinions, I really appreciated all of them. Some of the comments really made me think about my reason for needing to send the letter,and sending it would only allow me to play right into the elders hands showing them that they still had an influence over me. I never thought about it that way. Years ago (30) before my parents became witnesses we were Catholics, and we just "became" JW's without notifying the church at all. There was no major concerns, or worries about letting anyone know what we were doing. Why should this situation be any different? So I will just burn the letter today, delete it from my computer, and just move on, thank you all again for your concern !

Finally-Free

I DA'd for a few reasons, mostly because I was tired of their harassment, phone calls, and trespassing on my property. Things came to a head when my distraught ex called me at work wondering why she was being chased by 2 vehicles, nearly causing an accident when they boxed her into a construction zone. Turns out it was elders following my truck thinking I was driving. They aborted the chase when the saw the driver was my spouse. I DA'd, warning them to cease their harassment and trespassing. I followed it up with a phone call to an elder, telling him if there was a single further incident of harassment they would live to curse the day they ever heard of me.

This kind of bullshit isn't the norm. If there's no compelling reason for you to DA, then don't bother.

W

Pro's and Con's of DAing myself.

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