BIG NEWS - they're doing away with the Memorial now too!

by rebel8 9 Replies latest social humour

  • rebel8

    I posted this in another thread but it probably deserves its own thread.

    Rumor among dubbies is they are doing away with the Memorial! Let's hope it's true. Maybe some of our families will finally leave because of all the changes--less pioneer hours, no book study, now no Memorial. WOW. Babylon the Great is falling!

    I hope they don't figure out my identity because I'm posting it here, but I guess I'll risk it. This is from an email I got.

    Subject: Fw: Memorial Change In 2010

    Dear Friends,
    Interesting reading from our brother in Bergonia below . . . the writer mentions a couple of things I hadn't thought of regarding the new Memorial arrangement starting in 2010. One brother who visited our congregation this past Wednesday and who's been in the Truth for 40 years mentioned that this change is one of the most major changes the organization has ever made since he's been a witness. Exciting times ahead friends. Time to get ready for a real ride!!! This is one none of us want to miss.
    Your friend and brother,
    Tom W.
    P.S. Listen to Jehovah. Many think they know the answers, but they don't even know the questions.

    Hello, brothers and sisters:

    I want to share with you an important counsel that I received from a brother about the change in the Memorial arrangement. The 2009 celebration will be our last. I hope it can be of help for you too!

    Jane A.
    Pasiana, Bergonia

    There are a few main points to the letter about the change, I thought was very interesting:

    1. Meeting as a group for the Memorial has become a financial burden on Jehovah's people. Why, the money the sistas spend on getting all dolled up for this faux Easter Mass alone would be better spent lining the pockets of the Faithful Slave, as it were.

    2. The time these sisters were spending getting their hair and nails done would be better spent on housework and worshiping their husbands, as it were. Makeup and curling irons have no place in a Christian's home.

    3. In some areas, brothers were getting together after Mass for ice cream or dinner, having fun, and in some cases, even smiling and having a few laughs. This is obviously unacceptable and must be stopped immediately.

    4. The price of the wine and unleavened bread has skyrocketed. In their infinite wisdom, the Faithful Slave has announced a new Memorial arrangement. Each family's spiritual head will now conduct their own Jesus Rejection Rite, using Ritz Crackers and Welch's Grape Juice. The head will say a somber prayer and then the family will sit around the table, staring at the refreshments, while not partaking.

    5. Those who figure out this is total nonsense will be excommunicated immediately.

  • hotchocolate

    ahhhhhhh *wipes tears away*
    bloody hell that was good...
    god number four had me in stitches.

  • lisavegas420

    How will they explain,"keep doing this in remembrance of me"?


  • middleman

    REALLY? How can we know for sure?

  • hubert

    Rebel, I noticed you posted this under "Humor and Jokes".

    So, is this just a joke? I really hope there's some truth to this. .


    Well, I just read "Outlaws" thread, and see that you were joking.

    Rebel8, you deserve a good spanking for this!


  • DanTheMan


    In some areas, brothers were getting together after Mass for ice cream or dinner, having fun, and in some cases, even smiling and having a few laughs.

    Yeah, it's suits, dresses, loud talk and laughter out the ying-yang at every mid-level dining place around here on Memorial Night.

  • Gregor

    Yeah, The Borg will discontinue the Memorial when the NFL cancels the Super Bowl.

  • flipper

    I'll believe this when I hear about it from my witness relatives when the time comes. Almost unfathomable they would not observe this as a command from Jesus. Weirdo's

  • slimboyfat

    Yeah right.

    Made me look, made me stare, made me lose my underwear.

  • rebel8

    I will not tell if it's a joke or not. Google "Bergonia" and you will have your answer! ;)

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