Dog to its Vomit

by Sparkplug 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sparkplug

    I know as a JW growing up, I would hear so much about how if you were of the"world" and came out of it...that you were like a dog returning to its vomit. The other day, I heard of a friend of mine that went back to the borg. Actually over the past few months, I have heard of a few.

    Strange as I sat there and tried not to cry, (It did not work) For years I have admired this woman. She was always so strong and willful. Her eyes were wide open I thought. To find that she has after all of these years succumbed to the aloneness and chosen to join something she is painfully aware is not "the truth"...well, it just hurts like hell.

    Strange, I had a new outlook on that scripture. The one about a dog returning to its vomit. I know I left and went back to the jw's 2 times. This third time, I have had my eyes open. It is lonely. Lonely as hell sometimes. For a long time I felt surrounded by people but alone. BUT this world is what we make it. And each day I am out, I am reminded how free I am. I even see ways I still have to have my mind freed more. This woman was a major part of helping me see it all, and to hear she has returned...I don't even know how to feel. I guess it was the last of the old friends I had and now there are none. Sort of a change in how my mind sits.

    So, I do understand she knows fully well how 'wacked' what she went back to is. I just wonder what goes through her head as she gives into the brainwashing...again. She has truly blown my mind.

    I always say that I would understand if someone has to do this to be with their family....but now that I am here, and this is close to me, well I don't understand.

  • exwitless

    Hey Sparks! Good to hear from you. I'm so sorry about your friend. I can only imagine how confused you must be feeling. It just doesn't make sense.

  • Satanus

    'She has truly blown my mind. '

    She blew her own, as well. It's a crutch, like booze or crack. It's her monster friend that keeps her company, keeps her from seeing herself.


  • Sparkplug

    Hey you two, and to those that PM'ed me. I know she is just alone. Surely she cannot be in agreement with it all. I just cannot fathom what is so good about people that I know were fake to here the first time around. And surely cannot imagine going after knowing how much she did not believe. Maybe it was all an act while I was around. I don't think so tho. At any rate, I highly doubt I will get an answer.

    Heck one by one they keep falling. I get the feeling as an exjw, that that saying that goes something to the sort of, "If you get out of this life with one good friend you have done well." Something like that.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Hi Sparky,

    The so-called worldly people, who may be nice but "don't love Jehovah," were there all along for me, never whacked out or judgmental on any score. I'm sorry for your friend and for the confusion you're experiencing now.

    Now that I'm emotionally independent and self-reliant (major whoop for me), I'm less likely to become ripped apart emotionally by other's sins of omission or commission. I may feel bad or even betrayed, but we all make our own paths. Being alone for 7 years has forced me to grow up (tough for some guys) and turned my perspective toward joy and love and away from WT gloom and doom.

    Wishing you the best,


  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    There are numerous reasons why people return to the Halls , some return as you mentioned Skarky from pressure from immediate family members

    others aren't comfortable being a supposed worldly and may need that white sheet of righteousness to cover themselves that religions like this provide.

    Sometimes people just step out just to test the waters and do some things that they were forbidden to do as JWS,

    basically turning themselves into irresponsible adolescents damaging themselves and the people around them.

    The list is a long one and it really shouldn't worry you, because you know what the real truth is, its called personal integrity

    Take care

  • cameo-d

    Glad you are out. I hope you will keep the courage of your convictions.

    The day comes when we all have to make a decision. Loyalty to "family"(whether that be an org or friend) OR choose to take a stand for TRUTH. Loyalty vs righteousness. Many times loyalties are misplaced.

  • Sparkplug

    Yes, COCO~ It is easy for me now. I guess I just never expected to see her return. Of all people. Kind of hurt and I am not used to even letting a lot of it phase me. If it does it comes out as laughter. This however made me ache. Cry. I guess the feeling of loss took me by surprise. When you are used to loss, the actual "feeling" of loss coming through is a surprise.

    I thought I was toughened up a bit more than that. Maybe this one just really hurt. You know? Anyhow, maybe my hurt wounds are not as healed as I like to think them sometimes. They say the toughest outside tend to be big old softies on the inner. Perhaps that would explain why she went back. The toughest usually are soft inside. So maybe she just hurt too much. I have no clue. Heck who am I to say anything. I was back in several times before I got the message. It is the same with friendships and men. I really have to get my ears boxed a million times before I get it into my head that something is a lost cause. So...Maybe she is stubborn also. Well I know she is. So who knows. She may be trying to give it one last shot to save her family. Wish I knew.

    Homerovah~ Perhaps this is like an addiction...perhaps it is like a rehab fo sorts. A twisted form of AA?

  • Sparkplug

    Cameo~ I think Homer said it best with personal integrity. Someone would have to probably kill me first to get me back into that mess. No damn way. I said I learn a bit bullheaded, but once I get the lesson...It is to stay. And I reached my limit with the JW's a long time ago.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    One thing that is certain , family can be very persuasive in getting the lost sheep to return to the fold,

    with all sorts of expressions of love and concern.

    Sometimes when people are down with themselves and are at a weak mental state they become vulnerable to this love bombing and wallah

    they're sitting at the hall Sunday morning.

    My guess is once they have shoved down their bullshit over a period of time , she may end up vomiting it out and end up at your front door.

    If she does please let her in.

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