Completely taken advantage of!

by Gill 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    My mom took care of my children a few days a week. I did not pay her, she would have been offended. I would always buy them nice presents or pick up little odds and ends for them. She said Grandma took care of me and she wanted to return the favor. However it was only about 2 days a week and she still went on vacations or had schedule changes and we had to make other arrangements. I say full time childcare is too much for a grandma. Could you cut back a few days or take a vacation? Could she work "off" shifts or weekends so that mom and dad share more childcare time and it would only be a couple of the gap hours for you. I hope you get some well deserved time off soon!

  • Finally-Free
    I lost my evening job and so I have NO MONEY at all now, only my husbands wage coming in.

    If you have no job and no money, then the answer is obvious to me. Looking for a job should be your full time job, not looking after someone else's children for free.

    When I went through periods of unemployment in the past people were very quick to try to eat up my time, asking for all kinds of help and favours. Some got offended when I refused, but I didn't care. My job was to find a way to earn a living. I don't exist merely for everyone else's benefit.

    You need to stand up to them.


  • milligal

    I totally agree with the idea that you should not feel taken advantage of by your kids;

    My parents are JW and not around at all for my kids, I am jealous of the people who have parents like you who are willing to help out-but you know what? I work out my problems anyway-without the help of my mother, I think your daughter can work around your schedule.

    One possible solution for your situation could be to have a heart to heart with your daughter and tell her your plight-honestly: you love your granddaughter but because of your other responsibilities you have no choice but to cut back your cihldcare hours. Then you could give her a reasonable time frame to find someone else, like two weeks. Then make it very clear to her that in two weeks you have made other committments (just so she's not tempted to push you on the subject). Maybe she doesn't realize that things will be just fine without your constant supervision.

    Good luck!

  • happehanna

    I thought my daughter took advantage but your son and his partner take the biscuit!

    Yes I bet your grand-daughter is delightful but having her so much is too much.

    My other daughter sent a text to the offending daughter saying 'Have you noticed Mum is worn out, I am worried about her doing too much etc

    you get the idea.

    The easiest solution but perhaps not the easiest might be to say ' I am getting a job soon so you will have to make alternative arrangements for Baby by the end of the month(or whenever).

    You could even print off a list of local childminders and put it into the babies bag with a note to say I think you will need this soon as I am running away.'

    All the best

  • dobbie

    If she is working full time and getting credits is she not entitled to help towards nursery costs or are they earning too much? I really feel for you, i have a 7 month old baby and i know what hard work they are, it must be especially annoying when it is not your own! Last year when our finances were a bit sticky my mum offered to look after my tolddler so i could go back to work but i couldn't do that to her i know how tiring it is!

    Is there any tactful way you could say to them that you love your granddaughter dearly but are finding it a bit hard and maybe you could cut the hours down a bit?What about her mum would she be in a position to share the care with you? I know nurseries are mega expensive i pay £20 just for a morning session at his nursery, if you make that 2 sessions a day all month its ridiculous and as you are saving them an armful of nursery costs i think you are right to be upset they haven't even offered any money.

    Basically although it is your granddaughter you are doing an unpaid job at a time when you need a paid one! Perhaps the hint that you may have to start looking for another job soon as things are getting tight might sink in?xx

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