Conversation with an elder today!

by Maddie 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  Maddie

  I was at work today and low and behold an elder from the KH I used to go to came in. I never got to know him very well but he always struck me as pleasant and mild mannered. The thing is I stopped going to meetings over a year ago and am now, as I have already shared, being shunned by my JW son and his wife and can't see my beautiful little grand daughter any more.

  I haven't officially dissassociated and not met with any elders but don't care what action they take as they can't do any more damage to me now. Any way, this elder is very friendly and said that he missed not seeing me at the meetings and asked if I had thought of going again. I said that after investigation into the Organisation with regard to various matters such as the UN involvement and paedophile cover-ups etc that I would no longer be going.

  I asked him if he realised how much pain and emotional damage was caused by being shunned and that it wasn't what Jesus taught people to be like. His reply was that he couldn't imagine what it must be as he had never experienced it! Then he went into the stuff about Satan controlling everything and all these things I had found out were lies. He said that it would be a shame to lose out on living in the "new system" which is really coming soon now as everything in the world points to it!

  I said that I wasn't frightened of Armaggedon because it was all fear based and I had a personal relationship with God and Jesus and that I have learnt not to put my trust in any human being through experience. He said the usual thing about men (meaning the FDS) sometimes make mistakes etc but it is truly Jehovah's Organisation.

  After that I couldn't talk to him any more as I was supposed to be working, so that was the end of the conversation and he said goodbye and went.

  I don't know will come of all this, but as I have said, I am not worried one way or the other any more. Just maybe he might go away and ponder on the things that I said - I hope so for his sake.

  Maddie
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  gymbob

  Those people go into WT mode, you might as well been talking to a plant.
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  Maddie

  I actually felt some compassion for him because of him being trapped in the cult and because his world would drop out if he ever came to know that he has spent all his life under a false belief system.

  Maddie
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  gymbob

  I've been there, we all have. But what are you going to do when you find out it isn't real? I couldn't go to another meeting once I saw the WTS for what it really was. Some people just refuse to see it, and I don't feel sorry for those who choose to be blind.... Gymbob
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  Maddie

  	I've been there, we all have. But what are you going to do when you find out it isn't real? I couldn't go to another meeting once I saw the WTS for what it really was. Some people just refuse to see it, and I don't feel sorry for those who choose to be blind.... Gymbob

  I agree to some extent that many stay in because they can't face up to the fact that it is a bogus organisation. It takes courage to walk away and lose family and friends.

  Maddie
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  Mr. Majestic

  Nice one Maddie............... (I was just talking about you to someone, wondering how you were…)

  So what did it feel like to be so empowered…??

  Hope You're well.......!
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  dhand

  Hi Maddie, I can relate to you on this one, i too havnt been for a year now and bumped into an elder for the first time from my old cong a few weeks ago while i was shopping... i imagined i would play it cool but out of frustration i blurted out everything, i probably came over quite strong, told him i didnt think it was the truth, didnt agree with 1914 doctrine as originaly based on CT Russells pyramids (he didnt know about this as it happens!!), lost faith in bible as gods name hasnt been succsessfully kept alive, and missing 'apocryphal' books that even some apostles and Jude quotes from. Told him how i felt about the blood issue. The distinct lack of love in congregation and with my shunning family, like yourself. I expressed how i didnt want this going any further and i was keeping my mouth quiet as i didnt want to sound like an apostate and get disfellowshipped, he agreed i was an apostate but i havnt heard anything since! But i no longer care either!! Take care, Dhand.
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  Gopher

  Maddie, it was great that you tried to get him to see things from the viewpoint of one who's shunned:

  I asked him if he realised how much pain and emotional damage was caused by being shunned and that it wasn't what Jesus taught people to be like. His reply was that he couldn't imagine what it must be as he had never experienced it!

  Actually, it is practically the most inhumane thing one person can do to another in any relationship.

  Notice this segment from the Wikipedia entry

  Shunning contains aspects of what is known as relational aggression in psychological literature. When used by church members and member-spouse parents against excommunicant parents it contains elements of what psychologists call parental alienation . Extreme shunning may cause traumas to the shunned (and to their dependents) similar to what is studied in the psychology of torture .
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  Maddie

  So what did it feel like to be so empowered…??

  Hello Mr.M - I didn't feel empowered by this experience. I don't see it that way at all because the whole issue of the WT and the damage caused to so many people by their shunning policy and their mind control is too serious. I find your question cynical and insulting. I am very well thank you, are you though?

  Gopher - I remember doing a thread about psychological torture a while ago and I think it describes shunning very well.

  Dhand - It is a relief not to care what they do any more. It is so freeing.

  Maddie
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  leavingwt

  It never ceases to amaze me how JWs dismiss anything contrary to the official teaching as "lies", having never examined it. The mind control is truly amazing.