Mother-in-law said she will not talk to us anymore...... feel the love.

by New light for you 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • jaydoe1
    jaydoe1

    I just checked the "keep Yourselves in Gods Love" which was the release from the DC and the shunning rules only seem to apply to ones that are DA'ed or DF'ed. However, the language in some places is just a hair away from saying shun faders.

    The whole thing is sickening there is a section that talks about a court case where the WTS shunning was upheld as freedom of religion....basically telling dubs "See shunning is OK....the courts say so".

    In summary:
    A family unit it split down the middle into "Family Members" and "Close Relatives"....shun close relatives but not family members.

    IMO these two terms are vague and were chosen so that maximum shunning would take place. For exampe at what point does a DF'ed Son become a close relative living outside the family? There will be some that say once you move out you are now a close relative others not. Its just a big ball of BS!!!!

    J

  • Robert7
    Robert7

    (NewLight's husband here) So this is MY fanatical mom in question... Thanks for all your comments...

    She is not one to rationalize. She will follow the cult to death. So all I can do is live a good life and show it's possible to move on from the cult and be happy.

    I will take the high road. I will treat her no different, and in general do everything the same when I visit. I will let my family see no change in me/us, and see the insanity of her shunning. It will be hard on her, but it IS her choice.

    Damn this cult sucks.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Good for you! Let the burden lay where it belongs, on her shoulders.

    changeling :)

  • New light for you
    New light for you

    Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions...

    Scully- the idea of the grandkids... all comes into play differently cuz her hubby is catholic.. and has always "persecuted" her for being a witness.. so he's gonna get one look at her ignoring us while in "his" house... all hell's gonna break lose!

    JGnat and those that thought about the wedding.. thanks, yes thats the most imminent thing to deal with. What's gonna be cool is that this is all our family, family that NOW will be so excited that we can be involved in their lives, it will be wonderful, i know that people are going to be coming up and hugging us as we tell them.

    So yes, mom is going to be in the corner having a complete BREAKDOWN. I'm glad you said "make sure it doesn't become about her and that it's still about the bride and groom"... that was great advise. we have to make sure that mom has a breakdown in PRIVATE!

    And , Funkey Derek, Changling,Switch and all, thank you as well. great ideas and advise. Everyone is so supportive and helpful. Makes me mad when people say this board ISN"T for support! I couldn't get through this without it! THANK YOU SIMON!

  • Mr. Majestic
    Mr. Majestic

    Hi ya NL4U…..

    Been keeping up with your story, and just to say that I am really sorry for the situation you are in…….

    Fanatical JW’s……..Don’t you just love em…..???

    Best wishes....

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    Well said Scully. I agree totally.

  • Shawn10538
    Shawn10538

    I hope you ban her from seeing her grandchildren then.

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    ok.... i felt compelled to go
    ALL the way out to the van
    and dig around in the mess
    to find the "new book" a
    friend got for me at the convention.....

    pg 32 par 14 "Keep Yourselves in God's Love"

    How can we apply the priciple behind Paul's warning? (previous paragraph referred to "bad association/useful habits")
    By avoiding close association with anyone - inside or outside
    the congregation - who could be a corrupting influence.
    (2nd Thess 3:6, 7, 14) We must protect our spirituality.
    Remember that like a sponge, we absorb the attitudes
    and ways of our close friends. Just as we cannot submerge
    a sponge in vinegar and expect it to fill with water, so we cannot
    associate with those who exert a negative influence and expect to
    absorb what is positive.-1Cor 5:6

    box on page 29: WHAT IS A GOOD FRIEND?

    Principle: A true companion is loving all the time,
    and is a brother that is born for when there is distress.
    Proverbs 17:17

    Some questions to ask yourself

    • Are my friends also friends of Jehovah and Jesus? (John 15:14, 16; James 2:23)
    • Do my friends help me to develop good habits? (1 Cor. 15:33)
    • Do my friends love me enough to correct me if necessary? (Ps 141:5; Proverbs 27:6)
    • What do my speech and actions reveal about the type of friend I am to others? (Proverbs 12:18; 18:24; 1John 3:16-18)

    having only scanned BRIEFLY what seemed like
    relevant chapters, there really is no dirrect reference
    to "avoiding" anyone other that the DF/DA class...

    i can definitely see these cited examples
    being used to squash association with faders

  • flipper
    flipper

    NEW LIGHT FOR YOU & ROBERT 7- I am so sorry your mom and mother in law is acting like this. It's disgusting, horrific, and reprehensible as well ! Hopefully when you go visit like Robert 7 said- I agree - just try to be loving, authentic, and a real human being to her - her robotic cult self will show itself for what it really is in front of the other relatives . Perhaps she will feel ashamed- but I doubt it. She sounds really mind controlled. But as far as it depoends upon you and the good example you will set for your children - I think it will speak kudos for the loving authentic people you two have become even more so - since leaving the witness cult. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • New light for you
    New light for you

    I LOVE THIS...

  • Are my friends also friends of Jehovah and Jesus? (John 15:14, 16; James 2:23)
  • Do my friends help me to develop good habits? (1 Cor. 15:33)
  • Do my friends love me enough to correct me if necessary? (Ps 141:5; Proverbs 27:6)
  • What do my speech and actions reveal about the type of friend I am to others? (Proverbs 12:18; 18:24; 1John 3:16-18)
  • wow. that is ,... amazing. are they friends of Jehovah and Jesus. wow. how presumptuous you must be! to 1. feel that YOU have that relationship, and 2. that you can decide weather or not your friend does??? its a congregation of people constantly judging one another. EVEN if you're "FRIENDS" you HAVE to ask these questions? wow. it's amazing when you're now on the outside.

    Thanks Chikpea for looking this up!

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