Wow BF, how is your case such public knowledge? Who's doing all the talking?
Sounds like gossip and slander rules that BoE, congregation, and sadly, your family.
It's tempting to stand your ground and demand that they either put up or shut up. Have you called the CO about what is going on? You're being "de facto disfellowshipped" without an actual judicial committee? I'd tell them I already want to appeal their witch hunt.
What is all this worth to you?
B the X