Hello. I am still trying to recover from an experience that I had with a C.O. (Christ/Crist). Reading other discussions has helped me to start getting other bad experiences into a better perspective and since the experience with the C.O. was really the final straw I was hoping that reading that I am not alone would help me in moving on. Long story fairly short - After a long history of faithful service despite great opposition outside congregation and pettiness and ridiculous cattiness inside, I became ill and couldn't attend meetings. Add to this that I read every article in every WT and Awake! and reading about such wonderful experiences of how others were supported by the congregation emotionally, spiritually, in practical ways, etc. and then seeing the opposite in the congregations I had been a part of made me more ill. When the C.O. spoke to me he did not take into consideration that I came into the "Truth" all by myself, had pioneered, gave up going to college for the sake of the good news, etc., etc., but told me since I had not been to meetings it was a case of out of sight, out of mind. He did not ask me anything about what led up to my not being at meetings. He did not pray with me or read a scripture until he was getting ready to leave after a long accusatory discussion that was the opposite of what I had needed - encouragement, upbuilding, strengthening aid, etc. At the time I was in such shock over the things that he was saying, things that indicated that he wasn't very bright as regards as to his position in the congregation, or on how to treat members of the flock but I had been trained that to speak against elders was to speak against the holy spirit. So I sat there trying to wait for some encouragement, since surely Jehovah had heard my prayers for such encouragement. I had been told at pioneer school that even a broken clock is right twice a day and so I felt stuck, that Jehovah was answering my prayer and that maybe once I listened to his "counseling" he would move on to the encouragment. He took my explaining my situation as complaining against the elders when I was really trying to explain what had happened to get me in the situation I was in, that I had gone to the elders first, explaining that I needed help and got nothing but a few e-mails saying how great the meeting was, sorry we missed you - no scriptures were read, not prayers to help strengthen me. My submissiveness and lack of training in assertiveness led me to sit there and not say, "brother, I've studied, I've prayed, I've gone to the elders for help. None of that has helped me and I was hoping you, as a C.O. could offer me some encouragement. If you are not here to do that, please leave." But I did not have the sense to do that because at the time I thought that to turn him away would be turnign Jehovah away.
Could you share your similar experiences, especially with this person. When he left he told me he heard "this" a lot. I'm not sure what "this" was but looking back, it seems he came with a preconceived belief about me- that I was a complainer, didn't want to hear anything contrary and yet did not follow the WT counsel to not dwell on negativity about the congregation if someone is complaining, but instead stick to scriptural and upbuilding conversation - he did not do that al all. I'm wondering how many people he has helped to give up going on in the "Truth."
Thanks for your help.