NECESSARY LOSSES

by compound complex 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  compound complex

  Chapter 13 Summary and Analysis

  Although we may accept the flaws in our friends, it is sometimes more difficult to accept flaws in the married partner we fantasized about in adolescence. Psychologist Israel Charny feels that immaturity is the cause of marital difficulties, and that we must balance love and hate wisely. Because of the romantic version of marriage that we so often see in the movies and hear in songs, marriage does not always meet our romantic expectations. Even when everything is perfect, it is difficult to sustain the peaks of happiness and sexual pleasure in a marriage. However, it is possible to "cross and erase the boundaries that separate self from other, woman from man...," but we often have to settle for connections that are not perfect.

  Baggage from childhood puts great pressure on a.....
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  compound complex

  Chapter 14 Summary and Analysis

  Viorst describes a mother's anxiety over her children's safety, and how mothers really do believe that their physical presence can keep their child safe, linking separation from the children with danger to them. We fear for our children's "psyches," and try to accommodate every small nuance of their personalities, "orchestrating their environment," to protect them from discomfort. Our own painful childhood separations can influence our feelings about letting our children go. This can stretch to being too careful about reassuring them, being too understanding and not allowing the child to be frustrated. Children whose feelings are constantly analyzed will tend to shut themselves off to preserve the self.

  It is important to let our children be who they are, even if we are disappointed in them. We indulge our children.....
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  compound complex

  bttt
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  AWAKE&WATCHING

  CoCo - you are the sweetest and most polite man, I love your gentleness.
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  compound complex

  Dear A&E:

  I only now came across this earlier reposted thread. Thank you for your kind words. They are very much appreciated!

  I hope you found this information beneficial in some way.

  Love,

  CoCo
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  compound complex

  BTTT for Heartbreaker
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  StAnn

  CoCo, reading this thread is really causing me a lot of emotional pain and I'm many years out of the Dubs. I hope that Heartbreaker can endure it.

  StAnn
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  Lozhasleft

  Thank you for bumping this thread CoCo ...I will go and buy this book for sure. My mother left us when I was 7 years old and I've spent most of my life trying to recover from the subsequent unhappiness ...followed by many long years in the Org, I now have a new life and I am similarly finding the person that was left at 7, with a lot of joy, but I'm always happy to gain more insight.

  Loz x