I went to the beach today, it was cloudy and looked like one hell of a storm was coming toward us. Somehow it missed us, but the cloud and lightening display was awesome. I fed the gulls part of the bread from my sandwich teasing them to come closer and closer. They are clever animals and catch the bread as they are flying!!!
I watched the dolphins, what seemed to me, as if they were swimming away from the storm............I only saw the fins briefly out of the water ...in very small schools, If you can call four together a school.........but there were many in the water all swimming the same way. One did a swish of his tail, of flipped out of the water a bit, as I saw a huge splash.
My niece came down to see me with Apollo, my nephew. We walked around the little city of Neptune Beach checking out shops and places to eat. One shop had stuff from all over the world, helping those countries out. Amazing fabrics and jewelry, art, home decor, oils, the textures, the colors.........the smells..........My old days as a buyer for a furniture store stirred up in me!!!
I found a Watchtower and Awake magazine on an outside bench, all curled up from the rain and humidity. I grabbed them both and put them in my beachbag.
Back to the beach, sun full on..........niece and Apollo back to their house........alone, peace at last.
Should I? Do I dare? take out the WT and Awake and READ them?
Curiosity got the best of me.............I thumbed through the articles. I had forgotten the study articles had been taken out of the WT's. I read about global warming and how god was going to eventually fix everything. How the moral people would inhabit the earth, there would be no place for drunkards, idol worshippers, homosexuals, how to talk to your adolescents.......and got a UN quote(why do they still quote the UN?)
I read how an island off Brisbane is Australia is losing its beaches and more chief blahteDA is having a hard time. They are losing their farmland over there and how God is going to some day fix all that.
I remembered how I used to hang on every word they wrote as gospel.I felt a tinge of guilt for my pleasure I was experiancing on the beach. A luxury I would not have allowed myself a few years ago. The endless permissions I have given myself, to go to concerts, and smoke, have sex out of marriage without guilt......have homsexuals as friends now. Work at something I enjoy doing, my drawing, I am preparing for and Art show.
All the years I thought sacrifice.....sacrifice, some day you can do all you want in paradise. Hold on, you can do it......praying nightly for the promise to make the pain of doing without even concievable.
I felt lazy for not having a cause right now, I am not spreading the news, I am not trying to help anyone, only ME.....only myself. I should do something, volunteer for something....I need a bigger purpose than myself.
I put the mags back in my bag, did not finish reading them.........closed my eyes and let the sun continue to burn the heck out of me(lol) listened to the waves come and go.
I waited for the bus, gave a beggar some spare change and listened to the other person beside me grumble and groan about life. I thought to myself if I were a JW, I would whip out a magazine and tell her how there was hope for her future..........paradise awaits!! Hang in there!
But, since I am not a JW, just a lowly person waiting for the same bus as her.........I listened with empathy, laughed a bit with her, and let her woe is me. We got on the bus, I got off first, and when I passed her I said bye to her and nice to meet you. That felt very good to me.
Well, thanks for reading..........I hope to get up early for another morning beach trip, I got a ten dollar bathing suit and a one dollar visor!!! I am in like Flynn!
purps