What happens to a fader whose family is still JW if they die? What kind of funeral do they get?
I know nobody shows up, but who presides over it?
what happens if I die?
by halcyon 13 Replies latest jw friends
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halcyon
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yknot
Whatever they have pre-planned........presided by anyone designate in the plan!
Some might show up though....final goodbyes and well wishes to be seen in the 'new system'.......afterall they died before Armageddon!
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halcyon
I have nothing planned, because I don't know the options. So I could pre-plan for an elder who hates me to have to preside, and then he'll have to?
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Gopher
I'm not sure if your premise is 100% true. I remember when I was growing up I went to the Hall for an the funeral of an elder's daughter. She died in a car-crash and this was the first I'd ever heard of her. Her brother and parents were regular attenders, and she got the full "JW infomercial" treatment and all the JW's came to comfort her family.
But if you don't want this happening to you -- if you want some other kind of service or none at all in the case of your untimely demise, you could get one of those do-it-yourself will kits that are legally binding in every state, and state your intention. And keep the original, give a copy to a good non-JW friend or relative and also perhaps one to a lawyer.
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yknot
Umm are you planning on dying soon?
The planning can be done through your local funeral palor. Many have pre-paid options.
The only way an Elder "has" too is if you are baptized and not DAd or DFd.....but he could switch up on you to a newbie Elder.
Cremation is the cheapest option usually.
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DJK
The planning can be done through your local funeral palor.
For my sisters funeral, the funeral parlor provided a former minister who would do services for all faiths. He was employed by Hospice. He was only 25$ and he did a 40 minute service.
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oompa
you are tied to a stake in a public park..or behind the hall....the jw kids come and watch the birds peck your eyes out........oompa
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changeling
Here's what I would like:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/163112/1.ashx
with only my closest family and friends at the gravesite laying wildflowers on my grave.
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halcyon
no I don't plan to die. But I wonder, if I do, what would happen. I haven't been officially anythinged. I just dropped off the planet one day and didn't go back. I don't care what kind of funeral I have, since I'll be dead. It's for the survivors. But if I were there, this is what I'd want: someone to talk about me and how wonderful I was. :-) Then play one of my favorite songs. Maybe comfort my friends and tell them about how I was truly at peace at the end, that I died happy and satisfied with my life, because I'd been able to travel and learn and love and help people. I would hate it if someone held a "meeting" over my dead body. ;-)
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AGuest
may you have peace!
Sadly, I've had a great deal of experience with this one via the passing of the family of loved ones. What will happen depends on whether you are considered "inactive"... or "disassociated/DF'd". If you are "inactive," the following will apply (unless you're related to someone with some "pull" in the congregation, in which case, you'll most have a memorial similar to someone still "active".) But here's the gist:
The "body of elders" for your family's congregation will insist that you MUST have a JW "memorial," complete with a JW talk that includes a discussion of the "heavenly hope" (and how you're not a part of it!)
The "body of elders" for your family's congregation will also insist that the "talk" MUST be given by a JW "brother," preferably an elder. This is due, in great part, of course, because only an "elder" is truly "qualified to send someone "like you" off to God (regardless of whether they actually knew you or not), and in smaller part because having a non-elder do it would... well, tick the more competitive elders off ('cause, hey, they put in WORK to be able to give the memorial talks! It is DESERVED!).
(NOTE: It MUST be a "lower ranking" elder, however (i.e., someone new... or someone who won't sully his "good" name by giving a talk for someone "like" you).)
4. If the talk cannot be given by an elder (of ANY "rank"), it can be given by a non-elder "brother" if (a) he is related to you by blood or marriage, and (b) he is not considered "bad association," and (c) no "truly God-fearing, self-respecting" elder would do it (this is particularly so if you're DF'd... 'cause, well, then, they might get something "on" them if they "touch" you, know what I mean?). Exception: Certain other non-related, non-elder brothers might be "allowed" to give the talk (meaning, he won't be dragged into the back room). These usually fall into the ballsy "Look-I-don't-bow-down-to-no-one-and-ya'll-come-at-me-wrong-and-I'll-walk-outta-here-Governing-Body-and-all-ya'll-be-damned category of "brothers."
Any other kind of funeral/memorial/sending away and it will be insinuated that the family should not attend. This is due, in great part (but they'll never admit it!) to the fear that they'll either be lured away by some other kind of memorial "talk" (i.e., one that says you just might have gone to heaven after all), and in smaller part because of the "belief" that if it isn't done JW-style, you'll be "destroyed at Armageddon." (It also means they won't get to sell their melarkey to some other poor, unaware soul who just wanted to pay his/her respects.)
Bottom line: unless you put in writing that you DON'T want a JW send off... you can pretty much bet the farm you'll have one. And if you do put in writing that you don't want one... you can bet the kids and livestock that no one'll show up. At least, no "truly God-fearing, self-respecting" JW.
I must ask, however: if you have one JW-style, so what? If you don't, so what? You're already "gone" and funerals/memorials are for the... ummm... not "gone." Notwithstanding what happens with your body (which you SHOULD account for before you die), what folks choose to do about your passing after you're gone... is pretty much neither here nor there. 'Cause if you haven't written down what you wanted, you certainly won't be able to control it then.
Peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
SA