And she walked out of thier lives... forever

teflon

I walked away. Faded, actually, without knowing that was what I was doing. I just got tired of all the crap. I was one of the lucky ones, I left and took my husband with me. I was raised in it, pioneered for a few years. We still have family in, that's the reason I'm here. What I'm trying to get past is my last hurdle. I think I'm an agnostic, or at least anti-religion. We live in the upper Midwest US, and the population here is predominately main stream Christian of one denomination or another. I don't know what to do about holidays. We celebrate Birthdays, take the kids trick or treating, but haven't tackled the big religious ones like Christmas. My preschooler asked for a tree this coming year. This is the culture that we are bringing them up in so I think it's ok, but I'm afraid of disturbing the delicate dance I've been doing with my still in family all these years. I've always just done what I wanted, and dealt with the fallout after. I want my kids to feel "normal", I don't want them to feel they are missing out on something. I also don't want to feel like I'm being held hostage by a religion that I no longer believe in. Why am I making such a big deal out of this one last thing?

purplesofa

Maybe you don't really believe in Christmas.

Not a JW getting out thing, just your thing.

purps

bluesbreaker59

Try Christmas out... you might like it. Kinda like a little kid eating veggies, some like it, some don't.

BabaYaga

There are lots of reasons why Xmas is the huge hold-out.

One, because it has HUGE Christian associations, with the nativities and the carols. If that is not your thing, you naturally have a reaction to it.

The other reason is directly opposite of that one, the fact that it is so hugely commercialized and expected... and families go into debt for Christmas that lasts the whole year!

Do whatever you are comfortable with. If you are still not comfortable with the concept and decorations, maybe you could give your kids a tree in their own rooms, they would probably think that was awesome.

Blasty

Welcome

Well, you have a lot to work out there, but maybe if I can tell you why I celebrate christmas now, it will help you.

First, we all know the reason JW don't celebrate christmas, and all it's "pagan" origins. But when it gets down to it, does it really matter where something came from? I honestly believe it doesn't. I think what matters is how you use it, and what it means to you.

Pagans long dead have no influence over me, people alive today have little to no influence over me. So why should there choices, and there ideas change the meaning I put into what I do today? This argument can go for or against christmas actually. Why should you follow a tradition just because others do it.

Well, for me, it's a matter of deciding what Christmas means to me. It's a time to be giving, and a time to appreciate everything you've been given. It's a time to gather together, love one another, and be happy about life and it's meaning.

Why do it on a specific day? Well, for one, it's really hard to do something right if you don't plan for it. Secondly, why not? If we throw off the chains others have placed on it, what is wrong with it? What's wrong with sharing a good feeling with those around you? There is a common good-will present in many people around that time, it's a good thing.

sacolton

Congratulations on your escape! Remember - a holiday doesn't make a person ... a person makes the holiday. In other words, people can be as evil as they want to be and turn any celebration into something detestible. Everything comes from Pagan origins. It doesn't make us Pagan. Celebrate the holidays with Christian love and care.

God bless.

Casper

I've always just done what I wanted, and dealt with the fallout after. I want my kids to feel "normal", I don't want them to feel they are missing out on something. I also don't want to feel like I'm being held hostage by a religion that I no longer believe in. Why am I making such a big deal out of this one last thing?

Maybe it's the final act, for you, of letting go...

Once you jump over the hurdle.... it can be very liberating.........

Cas

teflon

Growing up Christmas was the one holiday that made me really feel like an oddball to my classmates and extended family. My grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc are all Catholic and my parents used to bring all of us kids to grandma's on Christmas with the excuse that it's the only time that they all got together. Then everyone would open presents but us, because my dad made a big deal about us not celebrating. He was so obnoxious that I'm not sure why they even let him be there. I don't want my kids to grow up feeling like an outsider. I think we will try a small tree with all the pagan trappings. My parents live just a few blocks from me. I think that they will just ignore it. My parents haven't picked a fight with me about anything JW since I caught my dad talking with my then 3 year old about "jehovah making plants grow". Now he is only allowed to see them when we are there to supervise.

changeling

Welcome!

I say do as you please. If your witness family hasn't dieowned you by now, they probably won't. You are indeed on of the "lucky" ones.

changeling :)

LockedChaos

Teflon
Welcome

We're free to do as we will
If their's a price to pay.....
do it later

Personally,
don't think it matters.

Been out 28 years
Holidays aren't for me

Can't find where there's anything
wrong with them

I've been wrong before though

And she walked out of thier lives... forever

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