What to do???.

by integ 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly
    Tell him to watch the movie "Play Misty For Me"

    MrsJones5, I was thinking exactly that!!!

    He shouldn't do anything till he sees that movie!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I'm concerned for my friend.

    You are a good friend. You obviously know your friend, and know that he loves his family and does not want to lose them. Yes, he is playing with fire.

    There is something very sad about an aging man who is alone, and put himself in that position by hurting those who loved him. And yes, I'm talking, not from my experience, but obsevations of others, some close to me, that I have seen in my fifty-six years of life.

    Yes, it is his choice in the end, but you are trying to be a friend, and you see danger ahead and want to give a warning....

  • yknot
    yknot

    Advice.....

    SomeMost/ Many Practically all women can be friends with men and that is all. No overtones of sexuality.

    But if she is lonely and he is paying attention (a bit too much) to her because he is a nice guy......well yea that could turn into a 'it happened' thing.

    Warn your friend about falling into a situation where 'it just happened' but after that then leave it alone.

    Focus on getting him to join JWD...!!!

  • iceguy
    iceguy

    Tell him if she's willing to break up a marriage...she will eventually cheat on him someday. Can't turn a Ho into a housewife !

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    did he ask for your advice? If so, tell him you think he is playing with fire, but that how he handles it is his own business and you'd rather not know any more because you like him AND his wife. If he didn't ask for your advice, you probably should mind your own business. But if he brings it up, you could ask open end questions, like "does it bother you that this woman seems to be chasing you?" "What does your wife say?" "How are you going to handle the problem?"

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    by the way, I keep making a promise not to give people advice since I don't have any better success running my life than anyone else does. Yet, here I go again, shooting off my mouth.

  • halcyon
    halcyon

    ~~Can't turn a Ho into a housewife !~~

    Yes you can. You don't know all the circumstances. Don't be so judgemental.

    HOWEVER, if you posted this question on "the most worldly of message boards of all" -- a board devoted to discussing sexuality openly but reasonably -- you'd still get the same advice: If you want out of a marriage, the honorable thing to do is to end your marriage before taking up with someone else.

    All "worldly" people aren't animals with their pants down. Most have standard values. Even with those values, there are lots of individual circumstances that color these situations all kinds of shades of grey. But still, 98% of people answering -- people with no religion telling them what to do, but instead using their own consciences and thinking abilities -- will say to leave an existing relationship before having sex with another.

  • nameless_one
    nameless_one
    ::Your friend is married. If he wants to date or pursue other women, he should become unmarried first.

    Wow... Way to put yourself in someone else bedroom there prudie... How do you know he and his wife aren't swingers? How do you know they don't regularly have threesomes with this woman? How do YOU know that his wife hasn't been sick in some way and WANTS her husband to have someone to mess with while she's unavailable for sexual play?


    Prudie? Please read my post again. I didn't "put myself in anyone's bedroom," in fact my response wasn't about sex at all but about relationships. I posted my OPINION about a set of circumstances that were described on an Internet message board accompanied by a request for thoughts and opinions from others. Of course it is fine if you disagree, but I don't think you need to be nasty about it or call me names.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I'm in a situation that I would be so glad to be out of right now.

    I'm in the middle just like you seem to almost be in.

    Sex is definately a follow up on seeing someone.

    Is your name on their marriage licenses? No?

    STAY OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ASK NO QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

    TELL YOUR FRIEND, IF ASKED, TO "STAY OUT OF THE FIRE, MAN," THEN SAY NO MORE ABOUT IT.

    DON'T ALLOW HIM OR HER TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT.

    COVER YOUR EARS AND GO LALALALALALALALALALA AS LOUDLY AS YOU CAN!!!

    DON'T GO FURTHER...DON'T PASS GO...DON'T COLLECT $200...OR THEY WILL SEND YOU TO JAIL BECAUSE THEY WON'T LIKE HOW YOU HANDLED THEIR MESS.

    THEIR MESS! NOT YOUR MESS! THEIR MESS!

    Again, STAY OUT OF IT AS FAR AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You've got to protect yourself.

    Please avoid getting sucked into it like I did. Oh, please don't let even your best friend suck you into it.

    Basically, treat the whole thing as a JW would treat a demonized apostate. RUN AND SAY LALALALA!!

  • integ
    integ

    Thanks for all the advice.

    This is a real tough one.

    You guys have given me a lot to think about. ALL of you make valid points. I'm going to think hard about this before making any rash moves...or no moves at all.

    Thanks again,

    Integ.

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