Just finished our District Convention

BonaFide

I know I am going to get caught being on here...and I don't want to get caught, but I need support or I will lose my mind. How can I give information about my convention without someone figuring out who I am? (I am not important I know that, but I know so many people in the organization)

Anyway, DC just finished. The talks blew my mind. There is a mix of Bible history, discussions of Christian qualities, and interesting points. All of it is used however to finish off with - "And that's why we listen to the Faithful and Discreet Slave." Thousand people sitting there and all of them applauding and taking notes. Meanwhile I am looking around like I am from another planet. They gave experiences of people getting money, getting a job, and being blessed by Jehovah. But what about those in the audience with terrible problems?

They interviewed a young sister who I know is in college for a four-year degree about being balanced. She talked about how her parents support her pioneering and she works part-time. She never mentioned college. I am serious.

I am certified in CPR and AED. They don't have an AED (Automatic External Defibrillator) at the Assembly Hall. I asked them why not, and they said we are not a hospital. I took it up with the Assembly Overseer, and he said a decision was made not to get one, rather to call 911. I explained that CPR re-starts the heart 5% of the time, and AED 50% of the time. (Source American Heart Association) No answer to that. The killer is that when I told my family, they said, "Well, we want to be balanced, and if the brothers in Africa don't have one, why should we?" I answered, "Then why do we have air-conditioning? And why do we have a First-Aid Department?" They got upset WITH ME and said I ask weird questions, and to trust in the resurrection, and the best place to die is the assembly. I start to lose control at that point and start to yell.

A sister I know at the convention is a foster mother. She just lost custody of the litttle girl she was taking care of for two years because she spanks her. (She is 2) She told me "I just don't get it. I told the judge I only spank her when she is bad, and the judge said, "Children are not bad." I saw a lot of physical discipline at the convention and threats of it. The sad fact is, I used to feel that corporal punishment was right, even for litttle ones. Wow I was gross and disgusting. And I thought I loved children.

I was able to speak to an elder that I had deleted years ago because of his not-humble attitude. I was happy to apologize to him and told him he had good ideas, and I removed him because I was threatened.

If you just sit there and take the information in and accept it, then it seems nice. Everyone is dressed up, the pretty girls are there (I am still single) the talks sometimes have interesting points. But if you start to pay attention to what they are actually saying, and not make excuses for every misstatement, wow, what a shock.

My whole life is upside down. And no one knows except you guys.

Also, thanks for the great support, I read your 58 posts from my first listing.

sacolton

I guess the next logical question is ... how much more are you going to put yourself through this so-called "truth"?

Gopher

Wow BonaFide, it sounds like you had quite the experience at that convention. There's so much in here that richly deserves comment.

I'll take this one:

trust in the resurrection, and the best place to die is the assembly

I don't blame you for getting upset at hearing something so morbid and heartless. Yet that's the way they really feel. In the last month or so, there was a thread that talked about someone who was struck dead in the audience, but the convention kept going while they carried the body out. And also how if someone collapsed on the platform, there would be another speaker with that outline who would carry on from where the now-deceased person left off.

It truly is heartless, and the most important thing seems to be to carry on with the program. The organization is the important thing, and people are replaceable.

It's as if their Bible says "By this all will know you are my disciples, if you obey the organization and get your field-service time in."

daniel-p

Hey Bonafide, I don't know if i welcomed you in your old thread or not, but welcome! It's tough going to the meetings--the conventions especially--when you're mentally out and everyone around you is still in. Surreal. I did it for a while to keep up appearances, going to the local elders/ms school, etc... but it was excruciating. Anyway, glad to see you're posting. Stick around; things get better.

Octarine Prince

Hope it was a turning point in your life.

Open mind

You said:

"I know I am going to get caught being on here...and I don't want to get caught,"

Just avoid giving out information that could personally identify you and you'll be fine.

Also, for a brief time, (an hour or two?) you can go back and edit your post if you want to add or delete something.

For example, if you thought there was ANY chance that those who knew about your AED comments were ALSO lurking here, (highly unlikely, but you never know) you could go remove them right now.

If you ever post something in haste that could destroy your life as you know it, and the editing time window has passed, you can ask a moderator for help and if they agree, they can make the requested changes for you.

Oh and......

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

om

BonaFide

I have thought about that a lot, especially during sleepless nights. But that would mean instant non-greetings and non-conversations.

I want to help my family and friends, and the only way I can see to do that is to ask questions and bring up topics in a friendly way. That is one of the reasons I come on here, to find out good questions to help my family and friends to think.

Every two or three years I meet with the some of the brothers at the Service Department at Patterson, and I talk to a lot of Bethelites. I want to help them all. I can't do that on the outside.

If I were myself six months ago, I would never, ever, say a word to someone who had doubts about the Organization. I would defend it to the death, and I should say, I have done so in front of 30,000 people. (I feel like I am boasting, I should really be ashamed) Anyway, I served a congregation some time ago, and I realized how much power I had just because I didnt like certain elders. I tried not to misuse my power, but wow was that wrong to have that power. I find it hard to control my frustration now, but I feel like the only way to help others is to be on the inside. I have some ideas I think might work, and I know there are brothers here that have even better ideas.

daniel-p

Bonafide, it's a very thin line to walk when you're still on the inside, but trying to get others to think. From my experience, people will only change when they are ready to change, and if they're not ready to change, your pricking questions will shut them off. Again, it's a damn fine line we have to walk... the question we should ask ourselves is how long we can place ourselves in that self-compromising position.

shadow

So you were/are a CO?

5go

Welcome back to the sane world.

Going to a DC with your mind opened up can be very scary.

Just finished our District Convention

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