Hi! I'm new here!

by gloobster 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • gloobster

    Hi! I just signed up here, so I guess I should let everyone know a few things about myself.

    My maternal grandfather was an elder in a congregation here, and he and my grandmother raised my mother quite strictly as a Jehovah's Witness. My father's father was also a Jehovah's Witness, though much less devout. When my parents were in their mid-20's they more or less disassociated themselves from the flock. I spent a lot of time with my mother's parents as a child, so I got much the same indoctrination my she did, although my grandparents had chilled out a little in their old age. I attended some of the meetings at the Kingdom Hall regularly and went out in service with them until I was about 14. I think the last meeting I went to was the Passover. I was never baptized as a JW, and was fortunate enough to stay at home with my DA'd parents a good amount of the time, so I was not as brainwashed as most 3rd generation JW's are.

    Although my parents did not attend the Kingdom Hall regularly throughout most of their adult lives, they never really adopted any other customs, like celebrating Christmas or birthdays--I still had to go home from school early on Christmas party and Valentine's party days. It was kind of like being in a religious limbo. The whole experience has pretty much made me into an atheist. But I've dealt with most of that.

    At least I thought I had. I'm 31 years old now, and recently, after a long battle with cancer, my mother passed on. Many of the Jehovah's Witnesses she knew as a child attended the memorial service, I think more for my grandmother than for my "worldly" mother. They were quietly disturbed that instead of letting an elder perform the eulogy we used a Baptist minister (HORRORS!!!), however it was her wish that under no circumstances were we to allow yet another boring JW meeting at her funeral.

    My entire extended family are still Jehovah's Witnesses, and until that day, for obvious reasons, I had not seen most of them in a very long time. I got many offers to rejoin the fold, which I politely ignored. It really made me angry, but more than anything I feel sorry for them; I know they are doing what they think is right. It took me years to totally realize how much they had reprogrammed my mind, even with the relatively limited association I had. As a child I was always ashamed of being a JW, but I thought it was the "truth". Crazy way to redefine the word, huh? It's stirred up a lot of old feelings, and has made me seek out places like this website, which seems to be the only one I've found that is really buzzing with recent activity.

    Anyway, enough about me. I hope to make some friends here. I would be interested in meeting up with some DF'd or DA'd JW's and sharing experiences and feelings; I think it could do me, and hopefully them, a lot of good. Here's to you all! :)

  • SuperApostateGirl

    Welcome Gloobster I am new as well,glad your here! I believe when you feel ashamed of something its really

    your Soul telling you its wrong, an internal expression!

  • hotchocolate

    Hey, welcome Gloob!!

    I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. I think you'll find some great support here.

    Your situation growing up was unusual.. I'm interested to know - do you think that if you had been told about the faults in the teaching of the witnesses as a child, do you think you could have avoided being so influenced by your grandparents? Would having more knowledge have given you the power to avoid the mental programming? I find it scary that even with limited association a child can be made to feel so tied to the organisation.


  • Quandry

    Welcome to the forum.

    You must have had a very confusing childhoold-no Christmas, but no real foundation as to why you did not celebrate, and no "witness kids" to hang out with instead, and then again, since your parents were not "in" why couldn't you have had Christmas?

    Anyway, stay here with us, and we hope that you will let us help you to deal with your feelings.

  • Thechickennest

    Hi gloobster:

    Welcome and greetings from South Dakota. It was by divine blessing I think that you have managed to stay clear of being one of JW's with a large number of your extended family being witnesses.

    I find it interesting that so many witnesses decided they could attend a service with the Baptist's in charge....You must at least come from a line of people that are not terribly biased in nature. Maybe there will be a few more of your extended family to follow your lead.

    Very sorry about you Mom.


  • dawg

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this site helps you... welcome aboard!

  • Hortensia

    Hi. I'm sorry you lost your mother and sorry she had to go through cancer before she died. Welcome to the board.

  • gloobster

    In response to hotchocolate: That's kind of a difficult question to answer, a real chicken and egg type thing. There are so many circumstantial factors, at least in my case, that it's hard to really pin down what anything would have been like if I had been unreceptive to the ideas, although I suspect that my grandpa's response would have included a severe reprimand and a cold lecture about Satan trying to drag me under his worldly influence. If my parents had contradicted what he said, maybe I would have avoided the JW indoctrination to an extent, but small children believe what they are told by the people with the most influence in their lives. On the whole, I enjoyed being around my grandparents much more than I enjoyed being around my parents, so I would probably have leaned towards their view of things, regardless. Aside from being JW's they were awesome grandparents. It's not exactly like I could have been prepared for it before being assaulted with it anyway, because I was too young to understand such things; not to mention the contradictory ideas would have had to have been presented simultaneously. Some of my earliest memories are of my grandparents reading to me from the children's bible storybook, I forget what it's called--the yellow one--and looking at those crazy vivid pictures in it. I still remember the pictures. It's a pretty devious way to drive "the Truth" into a child's head. Or an adult's head (compare every WT/Awake! mag ever). Hope this answers your question. :)

  • gloobster

    Thechickennest: They didn't know beforehand!

  • babygirl75

    Welcome to the board!!! I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.

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